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Secondary education

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Original poster

Issue with school uniform

40 replies

JaneStiler · 05/09/2022 18:54

My DC has just started year 8 and there is a slight problem with his uniform. Last year he always dressed smartly with his shirt tucked in, tie fastened, top button done up and blazer on. However the first 2 days of year 8 he has both times left with his shirt hanging out and a short tie with a fat knot in addition to the top button undone and no blazer. He says everyone else wears their uniform like this and is desperate I let him leave looking like a scruff pot. How do parents even let their kids go to school like that??? Very scruffy and Messy! What do I do? Should I let him do one of the above? Really not sure what to do. Would appreciate any tips and help on the situation and would love to know how your children dress? Thanks for the help!!

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 05/09/2022 18:59

Has he been in trouble with the school over it?
I know our school had emails going out about lack of blazers when they went back a couple of weeks ago. They don't bother so much about the other stuff but they were hot on the blazers being worn.

JudgeRindersMinder · 05/09/2022 19:03

You can insist he wears it all “properly” but I can guarantee the shirt will be out and the tie retied before he gets to the end of the street.

My kids have left school now but I picked my battles, and this wasn’t one of them

PuttingDownRoots · 05/09/2022 19:06

Uniform "adjustments" are a common minor rebellion.

The school will enforce the regulations if they are bothered.

(I'm pretty sure DDs school has clip on ties jyst to prevent the shortened tie issue!)

Muchtoomuchtodo · 05/09/2022 19:08

Let school deal with it if they feel he’s not up to the required standard

sheepdogdelight · 05/09/2022 19:21

It's not an issue unless the school think it's an issue, and then they will deal with it.

You can't enforce that a Year 8 student wears their uniform the way you think they ought to. Even if he agrees to wear the house looking the way you want him to, I guarantee he will change it before he gets to school.

sheepdogdelight · 05/09/2022 19:22

leave the house. Wearing the house might well be an issue.

ThatWillBeAll · 05/09/2022 19:27

How do parents even let their kids go to school like that???
Maybe they are already at work when their secondary age children leave for school. Or taking younger children to school.

Or perhaps they think their children are capable of making their own decisions about how they look.

Saloop · 05/09/2022 19:27

For the love of god please leave him be

These small things are important to teenagers. Why actively make him stand out because you think he looks messy?

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 05/09/2022 19:28

I did nothing.
I’m a realist and knew once out of view uniform would be altered anyway.

As long as they wouldn’t be arrested for Indecency I let them crack on with how they wore their own clothes. They were aware if school weren’t happy they would get detention.

Waitingforever123 · 05/09/2022 19:28

I insist my dc take all uniform with them but if they don't wear it correctly they can deal with the consequences and I'll support school (even if I don't agree with the school policy). It saves on arguments in a morning we all know the expectations and consequences.

TeenDivided · 05/09/2022 19:29

My view was always leave the house wearing correct uniform, then I have done my bit.

huuskymam · 05/09/2022 19:32

They can go out the door looking pristine and by the time they reach school, they're a hot mess. Standard in our area.

junebirthdaygirl · 05/09/2022 19:39

It's so important at that age that he feels he fits in. Just leave him decide himself. My ds never wore a coat in his 6 years as he would rather freeze than look uncool. Making your ds look all spruced up will make him stand out a mile.
Just smile and wave him off..he is absolutely fine.
Imagine standing at the school gate and seeing them all coming out looking cool and scruffy and the your guy arrives looking like he was off to court..you would die for him!!

BusySittingDown · 05/09/2022 19:39

My DD's school have clip on ties to stop this issue (and probably to stop them murdering each other with their ties). Otherwise I've never known a teenager wear their tie the correct way! When I was at school we used to wear our ties backwards with the thin bit at the front and the fat bit tucked in our shirts. Anyone who wore it the proper way got teased relentlessly! My friend went to the other local school (which is now my DD's school) and then they used to make it so their tie was as short as possible. Some kids would make it so they were basically wearing a knot under their collar 😂.

I'd try to encourage him to wear his uniform properly but once they're out the door and at school there's not much you can do.

Hoppinggreen · 05/09/2022 19:46

Mine leaves looking decent, comes home looking a mess.
If he breaks uniform rules at school then he faces the consequences as far as I’m concerned- and his school is pretty hot on it

PuttingDownRoots · 05/09/2022 19:47

My mother (70) and I (late 30s) had a reminiscing session a few months ago about school skirts... turns out the reason my strict parents never bothered about me doing itvwas my mother remembered doing it in the sixties and so it for it was... harmless expression.

YellowDots · 05/09/2022 19:50

PuttingDownRoots · 05/09/2022 19:47

My mother (70) and I (late 30s) had a reminiscing session a few months ago about school skirts... turns out the reason my strict parents never bothered about me doing itvwas my mother remembered doing it in the sixties and so it for it was... harmless expression.

I supervise DD's roll. Otherwise it looks like a bustle at the back.

NerrSnerr · 05/09/2022 19:58

When I was in school in the 90s we tucked our tie in right at the top. I'd pick your battles- let him deal with it if he gets into trouble at school.

Original poster
JaneStiler · 05/09/2022 20:30

It’s not there to look cool, it’s there for them to dress smartly and look presentable. You wouldn’t see men walking around the office with shirts hanging out, and ties loose.

OP posts:
Original poster
JaneStiler · 05/09/2022 20:33

You wouldn’t see men walking around a work place with shirts hanging out. It’s not a fashion contest, it’s there to make you look smart and presentable ready for work. Well this is my opinion anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
JaneStiler · 05/09/2022 20:34

He’s had a lunchtime detention over it and a few warnings however he doesn’t care he likes the way it looks and thinks it’s cool. Really stuck on what to do.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 05/09/2022 20:35

If the school doesn't care why are you getting worked up about it? If they go to college or uni then they can look like scruffbags there as they don't care either.

dementedpixie · 05/09/2022 20:37

Is there a group of them trying to look cool in front of the others?

Our school would have made them put on a blazer from the preloved uniform store.

Needmorelego · 05/09/2022 20:45

Teens don't want to wear that shit. They put up with it because they have to and get away with what they can.
If there wasn't a uniform most would be in jeans/trackies and t-shirts and wouldn't feel the need to rebel from it because they would actually choose the style they are comfortable in and in turn look smarter because they actually care.
As for the whole 'office workers wear suits' nonsense - adults choose where they work so technically get a choice in what they get to wear.
Leave him alone and the school can deal with it if they are bothered.

TorviShieldMaiden · 05/09/2022 20:49

JaneStiler · 05/09/2022 20:33

You wouldn’t see men walking around a work place with shirts hanging out. It’s not a fashion contest, it’s there to make you look smart and presentable ready for work. Well this is my opinion anyway.

Grown men aren’t teenagers. It’s an inorganic time of pushing ii Darius and defining your own identity.

Didn’t you rebel at all as a teenager?