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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Private school

28 replies

tanianott · 20/05/2022 20:14

I have been trying to get my son into private school he is due to go to year 7 this year and I really do not want him in state school, however he failed llandaff so then we tried St John’s however his assessment from there still came back weak. They have given us another chance for him to sit the assessment in July so we are now spending a fortune on tuition. Anyone have advice on St John’s and what is the possibility of them accepting him even if his test is still not up to standard ? We have asked if they would take him on a trial basis if we kept up the tuition 🙏

OP posts:
redskyatnight · 20/05/2022 20:17

I'd suggest you repost with a less generic title (or ask MN to change your title). You are going to get lots of people reading your thread who have no clue what you are talking about, and will miss the people who might know.

ancientgran · 20/05/2022 20:19

I'd be worried that it would be too much pressure for him if say he just scraped in after lots and lots of tuition. It would be horrible for his self esteem.

NatriumChloride · 20/05/2022 20:26

It sounds like your son isn’t the right fit for the place. He’d likely be one of the weaker students in the year and it would be a lot of pressure for him to keep up. I feel sorry for him already, having to undertake masses of tuition to sit an exam twice. His self esteem must be really poor now.
what are you hoping to achieve?

Original poster
tanianott · 20/05/2022 21:01

His self esteem is absolutely fine, he actually wants to go to St Johns. I just want to do the best for my son and having him in state school in a class of 30 with troublesome children is not the ideal. He will under achieve far more there. Given the correct environment he will thrive. He spent the day there and loved it. My son is very athletic and loves rugby. I am not the type of mother to just say oh well never mind your not good enough to get in, I want my son to achieve and be the best he can be.

OP posts:
Original poster
tanianott · 20/05/2022 21:04

I’m hoping to achieve a better environment for my son to be around in school, and to get him to where he needs to be academically. Unfortunately we live in a hard world and without knowledge you don’t get a good job.

OP posts:
Nomad916 · 20/05/2022 22:47

If he scrapes in with loads of tuition, he will always struggle in that particular school.
There are many other private schools which are less academically selective which will be a better for him.

Alohaaa · 20/05/2022 22:51

Because state schools have so many troublesome children? I would suggest given his results that there may well be others in state school with whom he compares with academically.

RamsayEaster · 20/05/2022 22:54

30 troublesome children 😂What a comment to make
Quite frankly with an attitude like that i’m surprised a private school would want a child with a mother with an attitude like that
I have a daughter just left state school with 5 As at Higher and predicted 3As this year far superior than her friend who attends an all private girls school
But whatever floats your boat 😂

LIZS · 20/05/2022 22:55

Majority of kids go to state schools and do ok. I'm not sure it is worth stringing him along if he is going to struggle once there.

FunnysInLaJardin · 20/05/2022 22:56

tanianott · 20/05/2022 21:01

His self esteem is absolutely fine, he actually wants to go to St Johns. I just want to do the best for my son and having him in state school in a class of 30 with troublesome children is not the ideal. He will under achieve far more there. Given the correct environment he will thrive. He spent the day there and loved it. My son is very athletic and loves rugby. I am not the type of mother to just say oh well never mind your not good enough to get in, I want my son to achieve and be the best he can be.

Meh, my kids are at state secondary and are doing really well. My DH teaches in a state secondary and alway says his best kids do just as well as the best kids in private.

IMO private school is for those parents who are scared of the state system. You have to have a certain confidence - if you have the choice- to send your child to state.

Imsittinginthekitchensink · 20/05/2022 23:00

If he needs such a huge amount of tuition at the moment to try to pass the test, he will not cope in a selective independent. If you want private, try non selective instead, as they will take him as long as you can pay the fees. Don't try to get him into a selective school on what you currently describe - he will not keep up and it will be very damaging for him.

Iveonlygoneanddoneit · 20/05/2022 23:01

There are non selective private schools which you might be better aiming at? Or perhaps putting him in somewhere until he can go at 13+?

And posters saying not to worry about state schools - I work in a state school with a very good reputation. But my god at lunchtimes this week the behaviour was appalling. Constant rushing and unsafe for staff and students!

Original poster
tanianott · 21/05/2022 00:10

Where I live we only have the 2 options of private schools unfortunately. As for state I agree there will be kids coming out who do well, I do not dispute that if they are academic they will thrive whatever school they are in. For me private school provides so much more with regards to sports, well mannered polite children, a more safe environment, smaller classes less disruption. I attended the school my son is going to , I have an older son who went to the same state school , I see the children that attends trust me I know. Also throughout the pandemic my child’s school was a disgrace the level of teaching he had was appalling. Private school had online lessons all day. My son is 2 years behind because he hardly had no teaching , hence why the extra tuition.

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Original poster
tanianott · 21/05/2022 00:11

Our state school finishes at 2.30 ? What is that all about 🤔

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ProfessorLayton1 · 21/05/2022 00:18

Are you sure that there are only two private schools in your city? Where do you live op ? Don't feel the need to answer the second question if you don t want to..

Whatswrongwithmarjorie · 21/05/2022 08:07

Look at other private schools and find one that’s right for him. I have seen friends childrens self esteem and confidence plummet when they go from being top of their primary to bottom or at least lower third of their year group at a private secondary because they just scraped in or were tutored heavily - all because their parents had a fixed idea of the school they should attend.
if he is struggling at St. John’s, look around for somewhere else where he will be more academically suited.
A good private school will fill a boy with confidence and help him to achieve HIS best. If St. John’s is near to you, then you should also be able to reach claremont fan, possibly Halliford and reeds .
It would help if we know roughly where you were but I have to ask why do you want to send him to a school that clearly doesn’t feel he is the right fit. Don’t forget private schools also look at the child’s personality and whether they will fit the ethos of the school. Passing the exam is usually only the first step

Whatswrongwithmarjorie · 21/05/2022 08:10

Sorry, assumed you meant St. John’s Surrey but just seen you meant Cardiff!but please find a different school - they clearly don’t think he is right so don’t put him somewhere he won’t thrive

Alsoplayspiccolo · 21/05/2022 08:15

Did your DS apply for the other private school in Llandaff?
What was the outcome?

Ill DM you.

Original poster
tanianott · 21/05/2022 08:56

His personality fitted in really well the school had no problem with him fitting in, just the assessment was the issue. The reason he is so behind is because he has missed nearly 2 years of school and his current school level of teaching at that time was awful.

We applied at LLandaf first because we wanted the rugby scholarship for him, which he passed the scholarship for rugby but failed the entrance test.

Kings Munkton is out of the question due to where it is situated, the fees are higher and there Estyn report is not that good. Rougemont in Newport is too far away, Westbourne in Penarth do not play Rugby, so StJohn's is the only one left. If all fails then he will go to state school but i will just keep up his tuition and a very close eye on him.

OP posts:
lanthanum · 21/05/2022 09:07

Could he keep up his rugby outside school, to open up the possibility of Westbourne?

AbsolutelyLoveIy · 21/05/2022 09:12

Academic private schools are very pressurising from year 7, please think carefully about this. Don’t force him through all this tuition for a school place!

My son has 14 separate exams in a couple of weeks and they’re treated very seriously with revision sessions in lessons etc. I wouldn’t be putting a child in that environment unless they were bright.

Alsoplayspiccolo · 21/05/2022 09:17

I’ve Dmed you, OP, but I’m confused about what you mean by “ he applied to Llandaff”?
Which school in Llandaff?
Were you actually told he’d failed the admissions test, or was he just not offered a place? There are usually more applicants than places, so not getting in doesn’t necessarily mean failing the entrance exam.

Have you looked at Bishop of Llandaff? It’s a very good school, with good learning support, I believe.

Otherwise, there’s St Clare’s at Porthcawl, which is private and small. I think they run a bus service too.

cardiffdreamer · 21/05/2022 11:07

Re bishop of lllandaff- would that not only be an option if you are already a churchgoer? It sounds oversubscribed if not.

Original poster
tanianott · 21/05/2022 13:05

If he cannot pass an entrance assessment at StJohns he is not going to pass one for any other school. The only other school I know of that does not have entrance exams is kings munkton but not feeling that school.

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Minimalme · 21/05/2022 20:51

Levelling with you op, he is unlikely to be two years behind because of lockdown/lack of tuition.

You should get him assessed to see what his barriers are to learning.

I have three ds, the eldest missed loads of school in lockdown and is still an academic high flyer. The youngest also missed loads of school and is dreadfully behind because he is dyslexic.

They are who they are and no school is going to make them otherwise.