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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

How should we be preparing our 10yr old state educated primary DD for private secondary at 11yrs?

61 replies

twistyizzy · 02/04/2022 14:14

Just as title asks really. DD state educated at what we thought was a very good primary school however that hasn't turned out to be the case. We have her name down for public school for Yr7 and are currently starting with a tutor in preparation for the entrance exam in January.
I know the transition from primary to secondary is huge anyway but is there anything we should know/do to prepare her to leave the state sector, assuming of course that she is accepted into the public secondary school?

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twistyizzy · 04/04/2022 16:44

@Lovebroccoli thank you. North England, put her nane down 2 years ago, paid registration fee, had 2 meetings with the Headmaster and attended an open day. The only choices in our area are pretty dire state or this private school. Thankfully we love the school and the type of child that it turns out.
Entrance exam is maths + English only and we already have a tutor in place to support her from July.
It was more about the social/sport/music/wealth gap side of things as neither my husband or I were privately educated.

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Lovebroccoli · 04/04/2022 16:53

Oh, I see. Honestly I wouldn't worry about it. Both my girls were privately educated (in the north) until the age of 16 when they went to the local state sixth form college, and although there were wealthier families than ours, it didn't make any difference, as far as I could see. (Except for once when one of my girls asked me why we didn't have a swimming pool!)

twistyizzy · 04/04/2022 19:26

Thank you @Lovebroccoli. We have excellent state primary and 6th form but there is a real gap for secondary. I can just see her coming home asking about a swimming pool 😆 as the school has one!

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boysmuminherts · 05/04/2022 13:59

Nothing....? My DS in in year 6 and will be starting at an independent school in September for Year 7. He is super excited, has visited for open day and entrance exams and can't wait to start.

OXTUTORS · 05/04/2022 16:13

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HighRopes · 05/04/2022 16:48

IME (state primary to London independent) the real difference was not in the classroom, but PE and proper sport and the other extra curricular stuff like music and drama, and also art. The gap showed hugely there as my dd had had either no teaching or just classroom teacher doing a taster of something like hockey. The prep girls had been to netball camp every holiday, school matches, specialist art and music teachers and sports coaches etc.

Dixiechickonhols · 05/04/2022 17:51

Do you know intake from prep v state at yr 7. If there's lots from state then it will be less of an issue versus if she's going into class of 19 who have all come from feeder prep.
Once she has her place she may be able to do a taster or transition day. If there are any sports days or concerts etc you can go to I would so she can see how it all works.

twistyizzy · 05/04/2022 18:16

@HighRopes that hadn't really signified with me before but yes I'm realising that sport/music/languages will probably be where the largest gaps are as, like you say, her current PE provision tends to be a series of taster sessions. Oh well at least she will get fitter 😆

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NeverEnoughCake2 · 05/04/2022 18:28

Having just done this (state primary to home counties independent), I think it's going to depend on what proportion of the school's year 7 intake come from a state school background. We're at a school with a reasonably large proportion of kids coming from state schools, so they're used to teaching students who aren't from prep school backgrounds. DS was towards the top of the class at primary and seems to be holding his own academically - he's not top of the class, but he's not bottom either, and has discovered an interest in a couple of subjects that he didn't enjoy at primary school, as they're now much better taught. The school have done some rapid recalibration of teaching this year (e.g. in languages), when they realised that a significant proportion of students hadn't covered what they assumed, due to lockdown's impact in the state sector.

There's definitely a lot more sport, though DS is sporty and we're at a school that's known for its sport, so he's happy about that. He did have a wobble with one of the major sports, when it seemed like everyone was better at it to start with, but soon caught up enough to feel he was doing ok. If you know what the school's major sports are, and your DD's never done one of them, this might be a good time to let her try a holiday camp or have a few coaching sessions in it to learn a few basics.

We've not encountered much in the way of snobbery or competition from other parents - they all seem pretty friendly, and freezing to death watching your kids running about a windswept rugby pitch is a great equalizer! In terms of the wealth gap, it probably shows up in things like DH and I both work full-time, whereas some of DS's friends have only one parent who works. Our holiday plans aren't quite as glamorous as some of DS's mates - he's going to a local sports camp this week, while some of his friends are on exotic beach holidays or have gone skiing. However, DS doesn't seem too fussed at the moment. We are planning to put money aside so he can go on a couple of the major school trips that'll be offered when he's a bit older.

The other big difference is quantity of homework. DS has found the transition from the tiny amount he got at primary school to an hour a night at secondary quite a big jump, whereas the kids from prep schools were used to more homework. However, I'm not sure there's really any sensible way you can prepare your child for that! We just made sure DS had decent desk space and a good supply of pens etc. so he can get on with what he needs to do each night.

twistyizzy · 06/04/2022 08:31

Thank you that is incredibly useful @NeverEnoughCake2 and sounds pretty much the same situation that we will be in.

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Talbot53 · 06/04/2022 14:29

One suggestion.

I appreciate you only have one option that you will be able to take up, but think about applying to a second school and use the exam as a mock.

We did this with Emanuel. Had no intention of sending our son there (nothing to do with the school, rather the distance from our house) but it got him used to having to sit a paper and finish on time. It really helped him with his other schools.

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