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Secondary education

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Original poster

Normal Year 7 behaviour?

42 replies

Arcadia · 10/02/2022 20:56

DD started state secondary school in September.
She has told me the following is happening in year 7:

  • kids vaping and selling vapes
  • talking about sex and making sex noises in lessons (when teacher goes out)
  • swearing - s word, f word and even the n word
  • girls with fake nails
  • every day kids sent out of lessons for bad behaviour
She isn't enjoying it and feels uncomfortable. Is this common for Year 7?
OP posts:
Kitkatchunkyplease · 10/02/2022 20:59

It all does happen but isn't necessarily common- it should be dealt with when it happens.
The n word is a racist incident and should be dealt with accordingly.
Vapes also serious .

Does she have a head of year she could talk to? Or even a way to anonymously report behaviour ?

Haggisfish3 · 10/02/2022 20:59

Yes to some degree. Which set is she in?

ArticSaviour · 10/02/2022 21:00

Yes. Sadly familiar

Original poster
Arcadia · 10/02/2022 21:01

Her head of year is useless, we've already had a run in with him.
It's black kids using the n word I think, so treated differently?
It just all sounds a bit lawless and chaotic. She feels unsafe at times.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 10/02/2022 21:02

It will happen amongst some students but not all of them. Have they put them in sets yet? It is horribly stereotypical but normally the lower sets have worse behaviour so if they haven't been set yet she may be able to get away from the worst of the behaviour when they do.

11stonesomething · 10/02/2022 21:02

This reply has been deleted

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Original poster
Arcadia · 10/02/2022 21:03

She isn't in a particular set - all mixed classes. Just streamed for maths. Has been separated from her primary friends in huge mess up by the school early on and doesn't get on with anyone in her class Sad

OP posts:
MusicByTheLake · 10/02/2022 21:03

My child’s secondary is quite good but yes, this stuff happens. The good teachers use the behaviour policy well to deal with it but the not so good ones don’t and lessons are disrupted.

Does your daughter have a set of friends that don’t do this that she feels comfortable with? Secondary school can be a shock for kids who wouldn’t dream of behaving like this. My daughter is in year 8 now and has got used to it, she just thinks the kids that behave like this are nobs and keeps her head down as much as possible. My older child did the same and did well at school, despite the idiots.

BeetyAxe · 10/02/2022 21:03

There is unfortunately an element of this in my sons school too. Dealt with harshly and swiftly. I find they (the kids) calm a bit toward the end of year 9…

Hellocatshome · 10/02/2022 21:05

Could you speak to the pastoral team about the difficulties she is having and find out when they are being put into sets, she may well end up back with her friends.

Original poster
Arcadia · 10/02/2022 21:05

@BeetyAxe I hoped that might be the case.
She gets to see her sensible friends at break and lunchtimes, but only streamed for maths at the moment.
It's a choice of uprooting her somewhere which could be same/worse, maybe considering private school, or hoping it gets better.

OP posts:
CloudsandTeacups · 10/02/2022 21:05

I'm going against the grain here but no! I teach in what I consider a fairly standard state secondary and I would not say this is normal at all!

I would expect her to maybe have encountered older students vaping. Hearing swear words in corridors etc. But certainly not in lessons.

I would definitely want this challenged if it was my child. Anecdotally I have found year 7 this year very immature (consequence of the pandemic I assume) and more akin to year 4 or 5. Lots of cutesy hair accessories and matching lunch boxes and pencil cases. Not the norm for a regular year.

I agree set can make a difference but I wouldn't expect poor behaviour as standard across year 7. Please talk to your DDs tutor or HoY.

Original poster
Arcadia · 10/02/2022 21:06

@Hellocatshome

Could you speak to the pastoral team about the difficulties she is having and find out when they are being put into sets, she may well end up back with her friends.
The pastoral team were horrendously unhelpful when we spoke to them before.
OP posts:
Cherryana · 10/02/2022 21:06

Unfortunately one of the unspoken things is that secondary school is brutal. Even the good ones. Also sometimes the luck really is in the randomness of which tutor group you are in and how quickly students can find like minded friends.

LefttoherownDevizes · 10/02/2022 21:07

Sounds familiar too hurt thankfully not in lessons at kids current schools. Bus journeys though, and outside of school. To be fair at DS previous school we had several knife incidents in year 7 so it's not that bad!

Original poster
Arcadia · 10/02/2022 21:07

@Cherryana

Unfortunately one of the unspoken things is that secondary school is brutal. Even the good ones. Also sometimes the luck really is in the randomness of which tutor group you are in and how quickly students can find like minded friends.
She's been really unlucky. They were very defensive and difficult when we tried to get her to move class even though the 'naughty' kids get moved around constantly.
OP posts:
Original poster
Arcadia · 10/02/2022 21:08

@LefttoherownDevizes

Sounds familiar too hurt thankfully not in lessons at kids current schools. Bus journeys though, and outside of school. To be fair at DS previous school we had several knife incidents in year 7 so it's not that bad!
That would freak me out!
OP posts:
Helpimfalling · 10/02/2022 21:11

Unfortunately. I wouldn't say it is that abnormal.

Frlrlrubert · 10/02/2022 21:11

These things do happen but as others say they should be dealt with.

Vapes is serious and would normally be quite a harsh penalty (one day FTE at my last school).

Swearing should be behaviour warnings/points whatever system they use.

The N word would be as above unless it was 'racist abuse' which would be much harsher.

False nails - depends on the uniform policy, but again points and dealing with their parents.

The sex discussion/noises - the teacher should not really be 'out', I assume possibly dealing with behaviour by speaking to a student just outside the door? In year seven that would result in safeguarding referrals, so if she can identify the culprits I'd absolutely email head of year and it should be dealt with.

When you say the HoY is useless, can you elaborate? The pastoral side really does say a lot about a school I find.
If she is with absolutely no-one she can get along with I would request a class move. They don't like doing it but given they've messed up at the start and she's still not settled in with her group by now I would push. Maybe get her form tutor onside, they should be able to tell if she's not gelled with the group.

Frlrlrubert · 10/02/2022 21:14

Just read that back and realised it's unclear - the sex stuff would be safeguarding referrals for the pupils involved if overheard by staff.

Original poster
Arcadia · 10/02/2022 21:35

@Frlrlrubert thanks. Unfortunately after a lot of pushing they did offer a tutor group change but DD said the group wasn't much better for her, and was feeling a bit happier in her class. Unfortunately that's dropped off now.
Her tutor is lovely but non-commit all in terms of - doesn't have the power to move her. Head of year (male) was rude to me via email before we met, better when we did meet but a very poor communicator. Met a lovely deputy head who was far more helpful. Might have to contact her again. Just feel like I'm 'that' parent who is always complaining!

OP posts:
Original poster
Arcadia · 10/02/2022 21:35

The original issue we had is such a long story I can't type it here, but essentially they did admit they'd messed up.

OP posts:
BurntO · 10/02/2022 21:37

Normal around here. My sons primary has KS2 AND KS1 bringing in vapes Hmm and the local secondary has all the above. Obviously it’s not acceptable

BitterTits · 10/02/2022 21:37

Not in the classroom and not reported as an issue either. I teach in a MAT school which was in special measures before converting. I don't think that's typical, no.

Kitkatchunkyplease · 10/02/2022 21:38

[quote Arcadia]@Frlrlrubert thanks. Unfortunately after a lot of pushing they did offer a tutor group change but DD said the group wasn't much better for her, and was feeling a bit happier in her class. Unfortunately that's dropped off now.
Her tutor is lovely but non-commit all in terms of - doesn't have the power to move her. Head of year (male) was rude to me via email before we met, better when we did meet but a very poor communicator. Met a lovely deputy head who was far more helpful. Might have to contact her again. Just feel like I'm 'that' parent who is always complaining!
[/quote]
I would speak to the deputy head then since you've found them helpful.
I am a head of year 7 and would be absolutely dealing with this poor behaviour. That might not mean that your child was moved sets but it might be a consideration.
Don't worry about being 'that' parent. Doesn't matter. You want your child to be happy at school and the teachers will want that too.