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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Normal Year 7 behaviour?

42 replies

Arcadia · 10/02/2022 20:56

DD started state secondary school in September.
She has told me the following is happening in year 7:

kids vaping and selling vapes
talking about sex and making sex noises in lessons (when teacher goes out)
swearing - s word, f word and even the n word
girls with fake nails
every day kids sent out of lessons for bad behaviour

She isn't enjoying it and feels uncomfortable. Is this common for Year 7?

OP posts:

DrPhilYourGuts · 10/02/2022 21:48

I think quite normal here. Although we are living in a very mixed area in London.

I only raise my eyebrows at the vapes but maybe because of my own personal hatred of them!

Talk to your DD about why she feels unsafe, what can be done to mitigate that.

I’d not be so sure about moving her as think most secondary is brutal but in different ways. Friendships might be established now and then she may feel alone and an outsider elsewhere. This is what happened with my niece moving in year 8.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 10/02/2022 21:57

Your daughter is clearly in the school I teach I'm. I'm sad to say that is a horrifyingly accurate picture. It makes me so very sad

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 10/02/2022 21:57

In not I'm.

EstoPerpetua · 10/02/2022 21:59

My youngest DC is about to finish Upper 6 and I would say this is not, and should not be, normal for secondary school. If it is normal for that particular school, I would be rethinking.

ThisIsUsIsTheBestShowEver · 10/02/2022 22:43

Can you change schools?

GrammarTeacher · 11/02/2022 05:37

It isn't normal in schools. Although it may have been normalised in some.
These are all things that would be treated very seriously in our school.

OutlookStalking · 11/02/2022 06:08

I am genuinely shocked this is considered normal :(

OutlookStalking · 11/02/2022 06:09

By some I should add.

We have a strict michaela type school near us we were avoiding but maybe it makes sense. This has really thrown me (choosing a secondary end of this year.)

DataColour · 11/02/2022 06:34

I have a year 7 and year 8 in the same school. As far as I know it's not normal in their school.

JudgeRindersMinder · 11/02/2022 06:39

[quote Arcadia]@Frlrlrubert thanks. Unfortunately after a lot of pushing they did offer a tutor group change but DD said the group wasn't much better for her, and was feeling a bit happier in her class. Unfortunately that's dropped off now.
Her tutor is lovely but non-commit all in terms of - doesn't have the power to move her. Head of year (male) was rude to me via email before we met, better when we did meet but a very poor communicator. Met a lovely deputy head who was far more helpful. Might have to contact her again. Just feel like I'm 'that' parent who is always complaining!
[/quote]
What’s more important=not being “that” parent or your child’s welfare?

MasterGland · 11/02/2022 06:45

As others have said, this has become normalised behaviour in some schools. I have not personally encountered this as a teacher (in year 7), but know of colleagues who have left other schools (one in particular) where this is just accepted. It is a shocking state of affairs.
I teach in a middling, non-selective independent and our year 7 are nothing like this. They can be a bit silly and daft, but that's to be expected.
The sex talk is a definite safeguarding issue and should not be ignored. Vaping is an expulsion offence here also, which is a benefit of independents.

WhatNoRaisins · 11/02/2022 06:52

They didn't have vapes in my day but the rest sounds normal and it can be a real shock for some. That said I'm surprised sex talk would be a safeguarding issue, don't think we talked about much else at that age.

marieantoinehairnet · 11/02/2022 06:57

Yr 7 DD here and none of this happening in our world, she is in higher sets though so less exposed I guess

LefttoherownDevizes · 11/02/2022 06:58

Interestingly just asked 2DCs (years 10 and 8) of they recognise this themselves.

They said yes, but that is dealt with at both schools. One is at a pretty prestigious comp (that the other used to attend) and said it happens there more.

Where we are I think you would find kids trying this at most schools -how the school's respond to it is another matter.

LefttoherownDevizes · 11/02/2022 06:59

And both are top sets.

We are a 'grimy' London borough though

Cherryana · 11/02/2022 18:31

Never worry about being ‘that’ parent. I really understand that approaching a school multiple times can fee intimidating but for the teachers on the other side you are just one thing in a huge amount of stuff to deal with. So they are not really aware of it like you are.

lumpofcomfort · 11/02/2022 18:38

I have a year 7 DC and she says it's not like this at her school. They are extremely strict though. DH is a teacher at another school which doesn't have amazing behaviour but he says the sort of things you listed are not usual.

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