Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

A level combo (how much do your kids listen?)

27 replies

noideawhatusernametochoose · 06/09/2021 09:20

Daughter has decided to switch her A level combo to one which makes no sense at all, especially for the degree she wants to do. She's pretty stubborn and won't even entertain a discussion.

I'm aware she's 16 and there are decisions now which are hers - but I think this is one she will come to regret?

Anyone else had a similar dilemma - and what did you do?

OP posts:
Seeline · 06/09/2021 09:24

Has she discussed it with anyone at school/college, and if so do they know her ultimate goal?

Can you persuade her to look at some uni websites to see what the entry requirements are for the course she wants to do? That might help clarify things.

What A levels has she chosen and what does she want to do at uni?

Comefromaway · 06/09/2021 09:31

Whilst I'm a big advocate of letting young people study the subjects they want to it does need to be from an informed position.

Are you sure that she hasn't changed her mind about her potential choice of degree?

Original poster
noideawhatusernametochoose · 06/09/2021 09:49

Hi, thanks.
No, she hasn't discussed it with the school yet as she's not there until tomorrow. She's changed her mind since enrolment.

She hasn't changed her mind about the degree, either. It was one she had chosen.
She won't even discuss it with me, just flounces.
Won't discuss it with her older sister either.

I suspect I'll just have to leave it til when she gets to school. Hopefully they might talk it through with her when she says she wants to change - but I'm also aware it'll be an extremely busy time with a lot of other things for them to be dealing with!

OP posts:
Original poster
noideawhatusernametochoose · 06/09/2021 09:51

Sorry, should have said - I don't think it will stop her being able to do the Uni course as long as she gets the points, but it may well restrict where she can go/how much they'll want her.

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 06/09/2021 09:51

What degree is she interested in & what is she now wanting to study?

Original poster
noideawhatusernametochoose · 06/09/2021 10:18

@Comefromaway

What degree is she interested in & what is she now wanting to study?
It's a science related subject and she wants to drop the one full science subject she's taking. (One of the other subjects she's taking will count as a science but it will certainly not be as directly useful as what she wants to drop).

I think I might now wait until she goes in tomorrow and see what the school says about her swapping. Hopefully they will ask her about why, and how that will impact on her plans. She might just listen to them?

OP posts:
UserAtLargeAgain · 06/09/2021 10:33

Why does she want to drop this subject/do another? If it's because she thinks she will do better/enjoys more the other subject, that's not a bad reason for making the choice.

I think it's worth pointing out that it limits her future options - but maybe she doesn't care about that?

EllieNBeeb · 06/09/2021 10:33

The academic lead will have to agree to any changes and will certainly discuss the impacts with her. Honestly, she will be fine no matter what she studies. It's best she studies what she wants to and enjoys so she can do her best rather than be resentful and disengage.

Comefromaway · 06/09/2021 10:54

Hmm, tricky

Say for example she wants to study psychology at university and was going to do A levels in Psychology, biology and maths but dropped the biology then that would be absolutely fine for most places including the leading universities.

If however she wants to study something like physiotherapy then it might be more problematic.

PurpleDaisies · 06/09/2021 10:58

What is she wanting to study? What are her a levels?

This conversation is going to be much better handled by someone at school.

Original poster
noideawhatusernametochoose · 06/09/2021 11:07

Thanks everyone. I'm going to see what school say tomorrow. It's hard. I want her to make her own decision but I think she's not thinking it through fully.

OP posts:
MurielsWedding · 06/09/2021 11:51

Can you just say what A levels she was doing, what she would like to change to and what degree she would like to do? Then people will be able to advise you properly.

Teen changes mind over A level choices isn't going to out you.

I sympathise with not being able to say anything to them ever! They think we know nothing!

Original poster
noideawhatusernametochoose · 06/09/2021 12:37

@MurielsWedding

Can you just say what A levels she was doing, what she would like to change to and what degree she would like to do? Then people will be able to advise you properly.

Teen changes mind over A level choices isn't going to out you.

I sympathise with not being able to say anything to them ever! They think we know nothing!

I would rather not give the specifics as I like to remain anonymous on here. (I appreciate you say it won't out me, but I don't want to take that risk).

It's not so much the specifics of her subjects she's choosing/dismissing, but more the general question over handling this is situation with a headstrong 16 year old and trying to balance respecting her decision with helping her to understand what she might consider in making that decision, when she won't listen to a word I say :)

OP posts:
lljkk · 06/09/2021 12:47

There will be other pathways back to that career if she decides it's what she wants for sure. It sounds like you made your case why she should take other decisions, she listened but wants to pursue these A-levels instead. I wouldn't try to keep persuading. You've had that discussion, now let it play out.

Gizmo98765 · 06/09/2021 12:49

My DD has done similar this year. She changed two of her A level choices without saying anything to us we found out by accident (as we saw the A level folders she had created).

We were annoyed and upset also she is dyslexic and the two subjects she has chosen involve more writing than her original choices. Also the two A level subjects she has changed to it just so happen to be two subjects that her best friend is studying.

We had a long chat with DD she wouldn’t listen and we have just had to leave it. She doesn’t know what degree she wants to do but I doubt these two subjects are right for her.

AlexaShutUp · 06/09/2021 12:53

All you can do is arm her with relevant information, OP, so that she can make an informed decision. If she really dislikes the relevant A-level subjects, it might not be the right degree for her anyway?

sashh · 06/09/2021 13:16

Does she understand what the subjects are actually like?

I had a girl determined to do Chemistry, Biology and Business Studies, the latter was because she wanted to be a vet and to have her own practice, she thought business studies would teach her how to run a business.

UserAtLargeAgain · 06/09/2021 13:32

I think 16 is the point where you have to give them the facts and accept that they might make a decision you think is less than optimal.
If she's determined to get to a particular future destination, then she will get there - she might just take a different path.

clary · 06/09/2021 13:40

I agree with a pp, it's hard to advise without specifics. I recall advising ds2 to offer another subject as well as maths, FM and PE, so he came up with biology- which he liked the best and he knew fact dropped the FM.

This was in Yr 11 tho. But it's an example of persuasion and discussion with a 15-16yo being effective.

clary · 06/09/2021 13:41

Arghhh he liked biology best in the end and actually dropped FM altogether - so our discussion was productive, I mean.

5zeds · 06/09/2021 13:44

Leave her to it

AChickenCalledDaal · 06/09/2021 14:09

I have a 16yo and I feel your pain. We've had many, many conversations about subject choices over the last few weeks. It's been a softly softly approach on my part to try and nudge her towards a place where she's genuinely making the choice, but armed with the information she needs.

In our case that information is along the lines of "it would be a really, really good idea to include the subject in which you got a grade 8 with barely any revision and which will get you into all the sorts of courses you say you want to do. Rather than the subject you've been telling me all year you hate and in which your GCSE grade reflected how much you hated it Hmm"

In your circumstances, I would probably quietly tip off the head of year 12 that I had a few concerns about the subject choices and would be grateful if they had a good chat with her about them. But ultimately it is her choice and as others have said, there will be alternative routes to where she wants to be, if it comes to it.

Original poster
noideawhatusernametochoose · 06/09/2021 20:14

Thanks everyone - very helpful.

I'm going to see what the school says - hopefully they might query the rather strange combo she has come up with.

16 is hard. I can't run her life for her, but I'm not sure she ever thinks I might have anything to say that's worth bearing in mind Grin

She will have a few weeks in which to make subject changes in any case before it's set it stone. Meanwhile I'll get her to keep researching and ideally confirm with her choices of Uni that they would be fine with that combination for the course(s) she is aiming for.

Thank you Grin

OP posts:
SheilasBroomIsLonger · 07/09/2021 11:53

Look at the university courses she might be interested in and see what their entry requirements are for the course.

I know you wish to remain anonymous but MN is massive these days, hardly going to be recognised because your DD wants to do a particular course at uni, I mean there were quite literally 281,980 eighteen year olds applying to uni last year.

You can always name change and then change back to your usual name too.

clary · 07/09/2021 13:02

YH OP I do agree with pp, whatever combo of subjects she has chosen, it is almost impossible that it would identify her - and there is a lot of expertise on MN from parents who have direct experience and might be able to help. It may not be an issue but it may be. I have posted before what subjects DS2 did at A level and I am pretty sure there will be thousands of others who did the same subjects last year.