Corona Cohort Y12 into Y13, braving the storm of the third wave

[Monkey2001]

Supportive thread for parents of Y12 students going into Y13.

Previous thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/4240252-Thread-16-Corona-Cohort-Year-12-2021-Zooming-through-Summer-Term

Lancasters Virtual is today - tbh I forgot I signed DD up for it but seems I did so had better go and sign in to see what times the relevant talks are)

Sorry not to have been around much in the last couple of weeks. I’ve tried to keep up with everyone’s news but haven’t had the energy to post.

DD has been dealing with quite a major incident at school.
You may remember she was “involved” with a boy at the start of the year. After that finished, she heard that the boy had sexually harassed/assaulted another boy in an ongoing situation.
To cut a long story short, DD’s MH and self esteem became so bad that we were forced to tell the SENCO what DD knew (she and the SENCO have a fantastic, close relationship) and it became a safeguarding issue, with a full enquiry by the school, during which at least half a dozen boys stepped forward to say that they too had experienced similar from this boy.
Needless to say, the boy is now no longer at the school.

You can imagine the toll this has taken on DD, and us, since half term.

DD saw her report yesterday and her “working at” grades have gone from BBB to BCD (although she got an A in one exam, and 2% off a B in another).

We were always doubtful that she’d go to uni next year, but now it feels impossible.

So sorry to hear of your DD’s experiences Picolo. But how brave you and she have also been to deal with it all, supported by SENCO. You absolutely did the right thing. Try to take the summer hols as a breather and take stock in the new term.

@Alsoplayspiccolo I’m sorry to hear about the hard time your Dd has been having.

Re uni - would going to a local one be an option? That has worked well for some young people I know who were not ready to move away from home for various reasons. And it’s the norm in many countries.

@Alsoplayspiccolo what an horrific situation for your DD - but absolutely the right thing to do.

Would it be a good idea to ‘forrmally’ decide that she’ll apply next year with grades in hand - to take the pressure right off?

All strength to you for this horrible time.

Oh piccolo that's tough . Hope she can now move forward. Good for her and those boys standing up and speaking out. I am glad the school dealt with it too.

Don't give up on uni. DS1 is at an actual uni with grades in that ballpark and (by his standards) is doing pretty well. And your DD has potential to improve, more than he ever did.

heifer that's weird!

I assume this is the link you used?

www.sheffield.ac.uk/undergraduate/visit/open-days

@Alsoplayspiccolo

Sorry not to have been around much in the last couple of weeks. I’ve tried to keep up with everyone’s news but haven’t had the energy to post.

DD has been dealing with quite a major incident at school.
You may remember she was “involved” with a boy at the start of the year. After that finished, she heard that the boy had sexually harassed/assaulted another boy in an ongoing situation.
To cut a long story short, DD’s MH and self esteem became so bad that we were forced to tell the SENCO what DD knew (she and the SENCO have a fantastic, close relationship) and it became a safeguarding issue, with a full enquiry by the school, during which at least half a dozen boys stepped forward to say that they too had experienced similar from this boy.
Needless to say, the boy is now no longer at the school.

You can imagine the toll this has taken on DD, and us, since half term.

DD saw her report yesterday and her “working at” grades have gone from BBB to BCD (although she got an A in one exam, and 2% off a B in another).

We were always doubtful that she’d go to uni next year, but now it feels impossible.

I'm so sorry to hear this what a traumatic time for your dd. I was only saying to Dd the other day, depending on course , there is no reason why she can't apply with results in hand or a year later.

Sorry to hear that Also. I know I'm stating the obvious but she should focus on her health for now. A levels will still be there to be taken later and universities to study at.
That said, if she is able to recover from this awful experience over the summer she can still do well next year and then take stock about if / when / where she'd like to move on to uni.

[quote Piggywaspushed]I assume this is the link you used?

www.sheffield.ac.uk/undergraduate/visit/open-days[/quote]
Ha obviously not as your link has worked! thank you.

@Alsoplayspiccolo, so sorry to read what has happened. So brave of your DD to deal with all that, well done to her. Like others have said there is no rush for her.

Im listening to Lancaster at the moment but will now log into Sheffield too - all whilst DD sleeps unaware :-)

Thanks, everyone.
I cannot fault the school - they reacted immediately and sensitively, and have offered ongoing support to all concerned. DD has been offered sessions with a counsellor, and we are in regular contact with the SENCo.
Unfortunately, the boy is also in DD's youth theatre group, but he has absented himself since.

DD has said she would not consider our local uni, but we may revisit that possibility, and a gap year or even grades in hand is a strong likelihood. I just hope she can find a way to compartmentalize what happened, so that she can find her confidence again and enjoy her last year at school; despite everything, she is still very happy that she moved schools and loves being there.

Piccolo so sorry to hear what you and DD have been through. Re uni - I'm not sure what course your DD is looking at, but would a foundation year be an option? My DS has just finished one after having his grades mucked up in last year's fiasco, and has found it really useful.

Orange 57 tasks!! That's not much of a holiday! DD finished on Wednesday - she has to re-draft her PS, and work through a module for biology. She is planning on reviewing everything she has done this year, and going over anything that she has completely forgotten or didn't really understand but that's her own choice.

AlsoPlays I realise your DD has been to a dark place but hopefully with time she will realise her bravery was a light to others and together they stopped the boy in his tracks.

@Alsoplayspiccolo so sorry to hear what your daughter is going through.

Thank you @singingstones your advice was really helpful to DD. She submitted her draft PS last night and it's a good starting point. She's identified she needs to do more background reading, etc and also needs to start looking at uni courses and content so she can start to draw up a short list and try and visit a few places over the summer too.

@estherfrewen Congratulations on the pass. Our DD is August born and still no sign of her provisional licence back from the DVLA so think driving lessons are a long way off yet for her.

@Orangecinnamon21 I’ll see your 57 homework tasks and raise you the (massively optimistic) reading list that DD has set herself!

@Alsoplayspiccolo - so sorry to hear about what your DD is going through.

Thanks for the driving congrats for DS. He also has a lot to do over summer - NEAs for all three subjects plus EPQ. Has been working really well since mocks and says he is going to do 2 to 3 hours a day over the summer. Will see!! Did some of Lancaster Open Day today - accommodation bit as we couldn’t see that on the tour and the history specific bit. Still his top choice I think.

Ooooohhh, what is HM? That's a fab set of books there! Has she watched Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's TedTalk 'We Should All be Feminists' or read it? (v short!)

DD’s supposedly off to Spain next weekend, a week’s language school with another student; that’s if she doesn’t get SI’d or test positive beforehand. I’m not going to lie, I am a little anxious given the day to day flux of everything. But she knows Barcelona reasonably well and her teachers have approved the choice (it exists, reputation etc) so fingers crossed it’s a positive experience. Apartment is on site and central so all very independent but safe (as it gets at least).

Lots of reading on her list too, but long work shifts are apparently conducive to grabbing the odd 30 mins head down reading time from time to time. This is going to feel like the shortest summer break!

[quote KingscoteStaff]@Orangecinnamon21 I’ll see your 57 homework tasks and raise you the (massively optimistic) reading list that DD has set herself![/quote]
Great reading list for the Summer..Good luck to her !

So was Dd birthday yesterday and we went up to the West End for eats and a show. I don't think covid concerns exist anymore in London except within shops and restaurants for facemasks etc. It was incredibly busy especially around Soho and Covent Garden. The outside covered areas seem to have encouraged more people. We ate at Dd favourite Vietnamese chain but it was do narrow.
One part of me felt glad to be there..I'd missed our trips/the vibe so much. Another part felt very anxious!

Six the Musical was great though !

Thank you so much, EwwSprouts - I was really moved by what you wrote and I hope DD will see this in time; right now, she feels that she’s caused more problems than she’s solved by speaking up, but she has said that the boy who confused in her in the first place cried with relief when he found out she’d told someone, because other friends had known what was going on but didn’t do anything.

Seeline, I hadn’t even thought about a foundation year (school hasn’t mentioned them, AFAIK), but DD seemed very interested when I mentioned the idea to her.
Can I DM you for further info, if needed, please?

Alsoplayspiccalo my Dd also had a situation where she stood up and told school what was happening. The police got involved . Unfortunately he’s still at the school. Dd often wonders whether it was worth it (lots of girls sided with the boy who was great at playing misunderstood - I read on another forum about ‘DARVO’ and it all made sense) but she had to speak up. Thank goodness the school are on your side. Good luck to her and well done her for speaking out.

@Alsoplayspiccolo that must have been so hard for her, what an awful thing for her to go through. I’m glad that the other boys spoke up, so many children think they can’t say anything.

DS has another important test tomorrow in first period, he is very angry about it as he wants to enjoy the football with friends tonight at one of their houses. He wanted to stay over but I’ve compromised with him, he can go but he’s being picked up within thirty minutes of the end of the match. He is being stupid about it and behaving like a proper Kevin. . I do think it’s a bit crap to expect the pupils to sit this test after a World Cup final in a boys school particularly and in the final week of term where half the year are off isolating. Is it really that necessary just after they e finished their UCAS exams?.