Going from private to state in YR9 - reason to be picked on?

[thesunday]

The plan is to let our son join the local inner city state school for YR9.

Now someone I spoke to mentioned that my son will 'probably be picked on because he comes from a private school'. And that we're better off letting him join the local school in YR7.

This had never occurred to me as we live in central London and everything seems transient and I assumed kids don't pay attention to this type of thing?

WWYD? Your feedback/opinions/experiences are very welcome.

I'm amazed to hear the "badly bullied" stories, frankly. Are they the sort of schools where bullying is rife anyway?

@Firefliess thank you for flagging up that negativity I really don’t want my son to pick up! I've also just written a long post describing the private schools that are left for us right now.

I think if you are choosing to go state you may as well move now for Y7 as everyone is new
Y9 will be more tricky

State school starts secondary at yr 7 so it will be easier to transition plus many schools start doing options for GCSEs at the end of yr 8. Far harder to make friends starting as the new boy in yr 9 plus less likely to get a choice of school. If you can't afford private through to yr 11 I would definitely switch at yr 7 (plenty of kids switch to state 6th form colleges at yr 12 so that's not as difficult)

@thesunday
You sound like a lovely, thoughtful, engaged Mum so your DC is 99% there anyway, that is all any child needs.
Good luck to him! x

The main issue would be whether you DS will get a place for Yr 9 in your preferred school. Lots of popular schools run a waiting lists for all year groups. I guess you can apply for 13+ indie places as backup, maybe your DS would have been more matured by then. Do you live very very close to a good school? Even then you have get past the siblings on the waiting lists first. If you are happy with any school then it is easier.

Yr 7/8 is like Reception all over again where kids learn new routines, find their friends, get to try different subjects and activities. I have a friend who had a child joined a grammar at 11+ and another at 13+. The one who joined later didn't have as strong a friendship group as the other. Academically both did really well.

I went from private to state in year 9 and really struggled. I didn't get picked on at all though, I was just used to a totally different level of schooling and facilities etc, and it honestly shocked me the difference! I begged my parents to let me moved back to private school so they did after only about 6 weeks. I didn't find the people any different really though, if anything the girls at my private school were a lot nastier and bitchier!

Yes, I totally spend thousands every year to make sure my DC have the “right accent “
Or maybe so they don’t attend the local comp which is in special measures and ranks as one of the worst in the country for GCSE results

Thanks @CrazyHorse what swung your decision when you were in this situation?

My DH told me I was being silly- and finances.

having 2 DC in year 9 and above, I find year 9 a bit of an odd year, tricky too.

there isn't the enthusiasm and freshness of year 7 and 8, nor the maturity and the focus of year 10/11.
It's neither here nor there, they start the GCSE curriculum in the core subjects while deciding which subjects to drop further.
The friendship groups have been established by then as well and generally the big school effort for inducting children happens in year 7, even in private schools with intake at 13+

At our school, they start dropping one subject in year 7, then 2 more subjects at the end of year 8. So depending on how things work in your 2 schools (out then in), your DC could find himself in an awkward position with subject choices.
Yes children move in at odd (and various) points but generally it's because things have really not worked out in the first place or of circumstances changing out of the families' control. even if he doesn't sit the 13+ he will still feel off to move to state at that point, as opposed to move at 11+ with the enthusiastic bulge.

I fully agree that he should take ownership of his education, maybe have weight things up with him ?

but if you are going to move out of private I wouldn't delay, you know your DS, if you think he will thrive in year 9 why wouldn't he thrive in year 7 ?
Also it would be a direct consequence of the choices he made on the 11+. He may not like state and maybe decide he now wants to put the work for 13+ ?

I was at a very ordinary state school. I remember feeling v sorry for children who came in after year 7. It is much easier to be stereotyped (as friendship groups decide whether to admit them - i know that sounds strange, but it was just like that), and children often went for the 'coolest group that would accept them. Consequently things often turned bad (I remember one girl who was v naive and green who joined a group of girls who were quite 'mature in outlook. She came in y9 and left before gcses with a baby on the way). Boys were often very naughty. I imagine that social side of things would be similar in private schools, too. But yes, much less oversight in the average state school where grades are concerned.

I don't mean to scare, but I would avoid moving schools during high school......

I wonder whether y9 is actually the problem abd not necessarilymoving schools? Just giving it more thought now, some children did try to change friendship group around that age (exploring identity?) Again, that went badly. Girks ended up v secually performative to win a place and the boys bolshy and dare devil like.

You know those teenage years are hard they truly are!!!

You might have trouble getting in to a half decent secondary school at year nine.

In terms of bullying it's hard to predict. Some kids can style anything out where was others will get picked on for the most unimaginable little things. It will be hard joining 2 years after people gave settled in and made friends, unless for some reason they admit a large number in year 9. That would be unusual in the state sector. I would either move at yr 7 or look at studio colleges and specialist academies that start in yr 10 if you're not planning on staying private.

Oh and I second the person above saying what a horrible year year 9 is. All those hormones and drama, it's traumatic enough anyway without finding your feet in a new school with established friendship groups.

Many year 9s are horrible. They were lovely in year 7 and become great again by year 11, but year nine. Urgh. Tough year.

Plenty of bullying in fee paying schools.

I sent my ds from private to a good state school halfway through year 8 and he was absolutely fine. No one cared that he had come from a private school.

I echo everyone above though and would absolutely move over for year 7 as that is an option. Much better to settle in from the start rather than having to break into established friendship groups and to be following the same curriculum earlier too. I dont think you would gain anything from those extra 2 years at the private school and you would save a lot of money too.

Problem is that no one can say that your ds will be fine-and no one can say that he won't be.

Unfortunately it will depend on the children he comes into contact with more than anything else. The school's handling of the situation may make it better or worse, but that's hard to tell until you're in that situation. (if they tell you there's no bullying, run for the hills, it translates as "we don't deal with it so we can pretend we don't have any".)
I've had 3 go through the same state school and it varies on the head of year even within the school.

There are differences, like there are differences between schools, but if there are children who want to make an issue of it, then you can find something simple like standing up when a teacher comes into the classroom (we did when I was at school, my dc don't) makes it easy to ridicule him.

It will depend at least partially on whether he will respond to comments with being upset, or whether he'll be able to grin, laugh at himself and move on. That isn't necessarily something you can tell now.

This is true of any child moving between schools, of any time after the normal entry points.
However people do (you see it on MN) have a view of private schools that, from what I've seen, is often unfair. That then perhaps can mean that if people are aware that he's come from one, then there perhaps is something that some people will see as an excuse for thinking he is fair game.

I don't think it matters whether it is private-state, state-state, state-private, private-private, moving schools can be difficult and unpredictable and children can be horrible anywhere.

It is more to do with the fact that if OP's DC is leaving the private sector anyway, then joining at Y7 give them a better chance at getting a place at a preferred school and start afresh like everyone else.

There is not much benefit in staying at the prep for yr 7 and 8, unless OP want to try for 13+. Everyone else would have already got a 13+ place or prepping for it, the prep also probably doing different subjects and sports to most state schools.

I moved my son from private to state in year 9 but the situation was slightly different in that he'd had an awful time at the private school and they refused to acknowledge/support his autism. The school got trounced in an inspection on safeguarding and equality shortly afterwards.

The other this that helped was that one local state school had a middle school system so he was joining at a normal transition time albeit as one of only 3 children not from the two feeder middle schools. It wold have been harder at a school that had started in year 7.

He was much, much happier in the state school although he didn't achieve what he was capable of.

OP you say you live in Central London, and you have a place already. What I will say is that if the school in question is either Cardinal Vaughn, Oratory or Holland Park, there will be a smattering of former private school candidates, so bullying about that should not be a problem. I don't really know much about other schools where boys can be accommodated in the area. Not heard much about Westminster academy in regards with their pastoral, but I have heard they are really top achieving. Stay away from Pimlico Academy.

When you say '3rd tier' which private schools are you referring to? Because London is fast running out of 'back up' schools. Even relatively new 'non academic' schools like Wetherby senior, get a high Russell group intake - those who do not make it there are either at specialist schools or overseas. Some years ago schools like Emmanuel were back up, but now are actually first choice for some.

A lot of people have addressed the 11+ vs 13+ issue with state schools, I think your next question should be in regards with the specific schools your DS has been accepted to.

Except for the 3 schools I mentioned earlier, I have no Central London School to recommend for a prep school DC. What is the view from your current Head ?

Good luck