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Original poster

Boarding schools for kids with (mild) SEN?

57 replies

seanceinterrupted · 05/04/2021 11:19

We are Brits but don't live in the UK any longer... however we are looking for a boarding school for DS who has ADHD and possibly mild ASD. We have been holding off because he has/had epilepsy, but he is outgrowing this. We think he'd really benefit from a school with clear guidelines and timetables etc, but where we are living (Europe) doesn't have anything like this. Because we aren't in the UK, it needs to be a school where he can board for weeks at a time, not come home each weekend. He is mixed on his 'intelligence' scores; some he will score 130, some he will score 85. For example his processing speed is very low, and he is not as mature as his age would suggest. Does anyone know any schools which might be worth me looking into? He will be 12 at the start of the next school year.

OP posts:
longdivision · 05/04/2021 12:16

No experience, but have you looked at Seafood?

longdivision · 05/04/2021 12:17

SeafoRd, that should say! Grin

itwa · 05/04/2021 12:19

Or even Seaford College? Grin

NellietheNumpty · 05/04/2021 12:22

Trent college was wonderful for a nephew of mine.

bagelsandlox · 05/04/2021 13:39

Leighton Park

LIZS · 05/04/2021 13:40

What does he enjoy doing? Maybe Bedes if sporty?

Original poster
seanceinterrupted · 05/04/2021 13:46

He's definitely not sports inclined (tho not awful at it, just lazy). He loves loves music and singing... tho he does think he is god's gift and this doesn't think he needs to practice anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
seanceinterrupted · 05/04/2021 13:48

Thank you all for the suggestions. I've only recently started looking but kind of don't know where to start. The ones that have come up for me so far are only weekly boarding which has thrown a spanner in the works as it would mean we need to move back to the uk

OP posts:
LIZS · 05/04/2021 13:52

He would need a uk guardian anyway, either a family member/friend or agencies have local professional host families. Even full boarding schools have exeat weekends, half term and emergency care. ISC has a website which might guide you

Londoncatshed · 05/04/2021 13:58

There are lots of full boarding schools in the UK. The only thing I would be wary of, if he is not sporty, is they tend to be big on sport, particularly Rugby for boys. They will do Saturday school too and it will be very full on as they keep them super busy. Do you think your child would cope with it?

Oblomov21 · 05/04/2021 14:01

I looked many years ago, for a very bright ASD child. There was nothing. The choice was shocking. Sorry.

tattycoram · 05/04/2021 14:49

More House

Original poster
seanceinterrupted · 05/04/2021 16:30

We have family in the UK and we are happy to come get him to bring him home for half terms and holidays etc, just not on a weekly basis... it's too much to put on our other kids who are used to being mainly sole care by me (mum). I'll go look at the ISC website; I've not heard of that but all the information I can get at the moment is good, even if it leads to a decision that we need to keep him with us. As for sports, while he's not enthused by them, he's a much calmer child when he does them. We put him in sports camps specifically over our (extended) summer holidays and it's great for him, but like anything it's a drag to get him there then he's happy once he's in the thick of it.

OP posts:
KibeththeWalker · 05/04/2021 16:41

I think you might be best with somewhere like Bredon that is really set up to give an extra layer of support where needed.

A standard 24/7 boarding school requires a lot of self-organisation which there isn't necessarily a huge amount of individual support for.

Original poster
seanceinterrupted · 05/04/2021 16:46

I'm wary of putting him in a boarding school that doesn't have any focus on SEN. He might absolutely flourish, but he might just focus his anxiety on being oppositional.

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 05/04/2021 16:53

does he actually want to go to a boarding school.
that's quite a young age. why not wait a year or two.
can you really find nothing at all suitable in europe.
what about atlantic world college, or is that only for older students.
something like that anyway, an intake from different countries.
is there nothing in Switzerland say, that's usually quite international.
what is he like with languages.
what does he like, apart from music.
how about a cathedral school. i don't mean a choir school.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 05/04/2021 19:40

Bedes, Frensham Heights, More House - these might tick all the boxes.

You'll need somewhere for half-terms and exeat weekends, but Bedes and Frensham have full and weekly boarding. I didn't look at More House as I have a DD.

PresentingPercy · 06/04/2021 07:49

You need to look at the specialisms of the schools. ADHD is very different to Dyslexia which some schools specialise in. A quick
Look at SEN schools tells you what the differences are.

Also I think sending him away for weeks at a time is going to be difficult. You seem to expect family to have him for weeks on end and you have not factored in exeats at all! What about visits for events at school and parents’ evenings etc? All schools invite parents to see sport, music and drama productions (and lots more) and you seem to think everyone else will step in for you. Do you want any involvement at all?

My DDs boarded but we took full interest in what they were doing and didn’t see our DDs holidays and exeats as the responsibility of others. Many international students go home for holidays if it’s a short flight to Europe. Why are you not intending to be involved in his education or his holidays? I think you are asking far too much of the schools and relatives with minimal input from you.

SJaneS49 · 06/04/2021 10:38

I think the OP has said that they will be taking him themselves for half terms and holidays @PresentingPercy? I assume your family will take him for exeats OP? From experience as an International student, it’s pretty standard for extended family to step in for concerts, sports days, exeats etc. Our UK family were happy to do so (they barely knew us and wanted the opportunity to spend time with us). I agree there shouldn’t be any expectation that extended family will take the strain but if they are asked & happy to do so then I don’t think DC are missing out? At the end of the day, logistically flying back for school plays etc would be an expensive nightmare, it doesn’t mean overseas parents are less invested in their DC.

PresentingPercy · 06/04/2021 11:00

I did not read it like that. It read he would board for weeks at time and relatives would get him at holidays. So OP would not be visiting for anything. I am well aware that most international students do not see parents from one month to the next but is that right for a DS with SEN? I do not think so. It is shifting the caring to others perhaps too much?

SJaneS49 · 06/04/2021 11:59

This is from the OP above “ we are happy to come get him to bring him home for half terms and holidays etc, ”. As for whether this set up is it right for a DC with SEN, like you I’m not sure @PresentingPercy. I think that would very much depend on just how mild that was in terms of fairness to the child, staff and potentially elderly relatives who might not know OP’s DS that well.

Original poster
seanceinterrupted · 06/04/2021 18:38

Sorry; we live in a small country in Europe and internet is a bit ^&. I did type a long reply by phone but I lost it somehow and as I hate typing on phone, I gave up.

We would always have him home for holidays etc, and as for exeat type occasions, our extended family would want to be there for some of it anyway, and chances are we would go back to the uk some of those times. I really don't know if we could do it each time as we juggle the other kids, but I would definitely be expecting him to be away for 'weeks at a time' as we wouldn't have him home every single weekend, and I wouldn't expect family members to have him every single weekend either. He clearly has ADHD which is why I'm looking for a school that can cope with that, and would suit him. I could easily throw him at a 'normal' school, but I want to support him, not 'get rid of him' as Presenting Percy seems to be suggesting. I suspect he also has mild ASD though only the people who know him really well have seen that; unfortunately assessments here where we are are not the best.

As for exactly when he starts, we haven't even considered it until now; he has/had epilepsy and was having regular seizures, and while some places can cope with that, we wanted him close to keep him safe and be able to be flexible around his needs. Thankfully it's a disorder that he's likely to grow out of, and as he hasn't had a seizure in a (medicated) year, even with reduced meds; it's looking like puberty hormones are doing their thing to help him. I'm aware this isn't a decision I want to make on the spur of the moment so I want to research everything I can and find the right place, if there is one. We need to get a medical assessment on his epilepsy (being outgrown) before we start a boarding school, and actually his epilepsy as well as his medication affects his behaviour so it may improve dramatically once he's off meds... but I'm assuming that there will still be some challenges that would do better with support.

OP posts:
rubyrose44 · 06/04/2021 18:49

As someone with ASD and ADHD (high functioning) I have to say I found boarding school really hard. The lack of personal space and control over my space and time (in the dormitory especially) was actually very difficult for me, and led to the development of OCD as a response to my lack of control. Nowhere to go for down time or privacy.

Obviously no two people are the same, but please consider what the living arrangements might be like for your DS in terms of his SEN, as well as the schooling side etc. I’m sure you will, but I wanted to give you my experience.

rubyrose44 · 06/04/2021 18:53

Should add that I was undiagnosed at the time, so it was an extra struggle for me but obv your DS is diagnosed so school would be aware!

princessrose · 06/04/2021 19:09

I work at Swalcliffe Park School in Oxfordshire - we take boys aged 11-19 with a diagnosis of ASC although many also have ADHD/mild learning difficulties. Half are day boys and half are residential. The boys all have an EHCP with Swalcliffe as the named school. Might be worth a look. Good luck!