Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

secondary school fee support

172 replies

Avatar1 · 02/01/2021 19:13

Hi all, hope everyone managed to have a good start to the year ...

looks really exciting here, was wondering if anyone could help direct me into charity foundation that can help to support fees as my daughter has been offered a secondary fee paying school. I tried a handfull of trusts but they either for universities and special criteria as well as the E.T.F...being on low income, appreciate any guidance where we could head towards...

OP posts:
LIZS · 03/01/2021 11:34

@Hoppinggreen

From the sounds of it and if I remember the previous post correctly OP has secured a Private place for their child with no means to pay for it. The school can’t/won’t help so now they are looking for some mythical charity of fund them instead. They were told repeatedly on the last post this was very unlikely but refuse to believe it. I feel for this child who has been led to believe that they will be attending a certain school but can’t - at my DCs Private school you are discouraged to apply if it’s dependent on a scholarship . I only hope OP hasn’t left it too late to find another good school for their child
My recollection too. @Avatar1 you did also apply for a state school place , didn't you? When is acceptance and a deposit due on the private place?
KingsHeathen · 03/01/2021 11:43

@Avatar1

I overlooked the deadline but applied the form ...I assumed it was to be filled when the remarks recieved and got stuck in work and other commitments ...
You missed their deadline? I see why they won't help then. Birmingham schools are so over subscribed- they can fill her place probably ten times over, but I'm sure you know that. What do you think you'll be offered on 1st March? Is it really going to be that bad? Your position would be far worse if she were a boy...
Original poster
Avatar1 · 03/01/2021 11:47

Liz...it's been offered a place after entry test and applied funding 8 weeks later from the last date...

OP posts:
LIZS · 03/01/2021 11:50

That is very late. So they may well have allocated funding already, with the offer letters.

Ithinkim · 03/01/2021 11:53

I think it's a lost cause if you can't find it yourself.

Ithinkim · 03/01/2021 11:53

Fund. Not find.

LindaEllen · 03/01/2021 12:03

@Avatar1

the school is in birmingham...i cant mention which just dont want to feel like i am putting too much burden...i really like to widen my scope just a little as i am quite keen to get my DD as she has so much to offer...
Every child has 'so much to offer' (or their mum always thinks they do, anyway).

If you can't afford private, and don't qualify for a bursary, don't go.

What makes YOUR child so much more important than the many others who could probably benefit from private education?

She will be fine at the state school, unless you're passing on her attitude that she's somehow higher and mightier and cleverer than all of her peers.

Original poster
Avatar1 · 03/01/2021 12:08

Liz...but there must be a solution we can find options to manage the funds...they must have known as i requested the form earlier on...

OP posts:
CommunistLegoBloc · 03/01/2021 12:13

There isn't a solution Confused

Your child has to go to state school, and that's fine.

LIZS · 03/01/2021 12:14

It is not for them to chase you. Places and funds are limited. There will be many whose dc achieved more highly and returned the forms on time. They will have assumed you no longer needed to apply when you saw the criteria. Did you only do so after the offer was made? Sorry but you may have missed out unless others turn funding down. Do you need to confirm the place soon?

sansou · 03/01/2021 12:17

Demand for bursaries or assisted places ALWAYS exceed the pot available. If your household income falls within the scale that they award a bursary/assisted place for, it still doesn't mean that your DD will be awarded it. Your DD performed well enough for an offer (no mean feat on her part btw) but others performed better/had more need/combination of both. It just comes down to sheer competition for a limited pot of funds.You may perceive this to be the "best" school that Birmingham has to offer your DD but there are numerous excellent non fee paying alternatives.

Can you not extend your mortgage?
Have you asked for help from your families?
Go Fund Me (you sound desperate!)

PatriciaHolm · 03/01/2021 12:19

It's a bit unclear as to what has happened, but if you applied for a bursary/assisted place late and the school have declined your application, that's it. You can try explain to them why it was late, but that is all you can try. There is no magic word we can give you that will unlock more funds from them if they have already allocated what they have to applicants who were on time.

They can't assume that just because you requested the form you will actually decide to apply.

Original poster
Avatar1 · 03/01/2021 12:28

liz...i have to find some ways to help support her that there must be a positive outcome...i do have to decide in 2 months time ..

OP posts:
inappropriateraspberry · 03/01/2021 12:30

But there won't be a positive outcome. If you can't afford it, she can't go. End of.

titchy · 03/01/2021 12:32

The best thing you can do for your child now is to stop telling her she is going to the private school. There is no solution here. There are no funds available now. Take the state school place you are offered and encourage your child to do her very best. And don't make her feel like she is going to fail by going to a state school - she won't!

LIZS · 03/01/2021 12:33

Why do you have to though? You could call the bursar and see what the situation is with your late application but should accept this option may no longer be open to your dd. It was always a long shot. Try to be positive about the state alternatives rather than raise your dd's hopes up. Majority of children in Uk are state educated. Does she know?

hedgehogger1 · 03/01/2021 12:33

To be blunt, unless you can find a magic money tree, you need to send your kid to state school.

TunnelEnd · 03/01/2021 12:55

Avatar1, you could set up a crowdfunding page on justgiving.com or gofundme.com or a similar site to make your case for why you think your daughter needs to be funded to go to a particular school. You could then post the link to social media and ask your friends and contacts to share it. If people feel your cause is worthy of their money they may donate. Good luck!

Ginfordinner · 03/01/2021 13:05

DD sat and passed the exam to go to a fee paying girls grammar school. We applied for a bursary, as we were eligible to apply for one, before she sat the exam, and were turned down. I told DD that she needn't sit the exam, but she wanted to do it anyway, and passed and received an offer of a place pretty quickly. We contacted the school to see if they could do anything and the answer was no, so we declined the place.

We took the view that if we paid for her secondary education our quality of life would suffer considerably, and we wouldn't be able to fund DD through university. We also decided that we could afford to pay for a tutor if she struggled with any subjects. We did this for GCSE maths only because her maths reacher at school was a rubbish teacher. She achieved an A* at maths, and achieved many more in several other subjects.

DD went to the local state comprehensive school, did really well at her GCSEs and even better at her A levels. She is now at her first choice, well regarded university doing a STEM degree.

I just wanted to point out that state school plus tutors if required is a perfectly good second option.

And to suggest that you shouldn't be posting on MN for advice if you don't want to accept it.

KingsHeathen · 03/01/2021 13:22

@Avatar1

Liz...but there must be a solution we can find options to manage the funds...they must have known as i requested the form earlier on...
Hundreds request the bursary forms, but then do not complete them (lots of reasons- income too high, don't want to disclose assets, embarrassed, change of circumstances etc). Schools, particularly KEHS, EHS etc could not possibly chase them all up. Do you have any idea how many apply for these places? It's not just children within Birmingham, but for 50miles around the city too. (You see posts regularly on the 11+ forum "oh, we live in Oxford, Leicester, Stoke etc, how do we get out child to Edgbaston every day?" Hmm) If you wanted to go down this route, you needed to address this issue prior to applying. As far as the schools are concerned, your DD isn't special- they have hundreds and hundreds apply. Unless your DD is the next Malala Yousafzai or Lauren Zhang, she isn't bringing anything they can't get from hundreds of other little girls, that's the bare truth of the matter.

What you must do is prepare your DD for the school she is allocated- embrace it, big it up, make the most of opportunities you can access and can afford. Ensure she keeps reading, broaden her mind, encourage a love of learning. A well supported child can do well in a non-fee paying school, and there are many girls in Birmingham that get clutches of 9s at GCSE from ordinary non-selective schools. GCSE still favours the way girls approach learning over boys.

Iamthewombat · 03/01/2021 13:35

Avatar1, you could set up a crowdfunding page on justgiving.com or gofundme.com or a similar site to make your case for why you think your daughter needs to be funded to go to a particular school. You could then post the link to social media and ask your friends and contacts to share it. If people feel your cause is worthy of their money they may donate. Good luck!

“Dear friends, contacts and people I haven’t met. I would like you to commit to funding my daughter through private school for the next seven years, to the tune of > £100k and that’s just at today’s prices. Thanks, love ya! Xxxx”

You do understand that the OP and her daughter would be a laughing stock if she followed this strategy, right?

Hoppinggreen · 03/01/2021 13:38

Tunnelend that is a pretty daft idea
Even if somehow enough money was raised for one terms/years fees what then?
OP needs to get their head around the idea that this isn’t happening and they need to make sure their child has a school place at all
OP it’s good to have hope or be optimistic but you are veering Into delusional now, it doesn’t matter how many times you say the same thing it won’t make it happen. I really feel for your child if you are telling them this money will magically appear

WestSideBoom · 03/01/2021 13:54

I think that sometimes parents can confuse 'being offered a place' with the idea that their child is somehow exceptional and deserves a place.

Private schools are businesses. You wouldn't go into a designer clothes shop where items are being 'offered for sale' and expect for the shop or a charity to pay for them for you.

They have exams and offer you a place to make sure the child can keep up with the academic expectations. It's not a mark of excellence on your child.

If you can't afford the place you can't have the place. In the same way that if you can't afford fillet steak you have chicken. The fillet steak is being offered but you have to pay for it.

Redlocks28 · 03/01/2021 14:01

there must be a solution

Of course there are solutions.

  1. You can pay for it yourselves.
  2. You can send your child to a state school.

Nobody is going to pay for your child to go to private school no matter how much you want it to happen. I think the sooner you process that, the sinner you can move on.

lcdododo · 03/01/2021 14:12

This is actually really, really sad.
You've clearly told your daughter she is going to this school when she isn't.
And you clearly have some (mental) issues you need help with.

Swipe left for the next trending thread