Corona Cohort - Year 12 - 2021 - NO 'Self isolating' please.

[Oblomov20]

We just want our kids in school. Please. If at all possible.

And driving lessons. And good Mental Health. And happiness.

In-and-amongst all this Covid nightmare and lockdown debacle.

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@teta it's good he exercises though. The only exercise mine gets is down the stairs to the kitchen for food.

I have dropped off here a bit as have been stressed about DH (his mum died last May and he’s been up and down and currently more down) and also DS doesn’t know what he wants to do after year 13 and anything school does just makes him go “if I don’t know what I want to do then how does it help?”

Have said to him I will do some research for him and then we can discuss together. He’s doing maths, geography and religious studies, doesn’t want to do maths, doesn’t know what job he might want to do and basically doesn’t know where he wants to go.

He is very good at music in an instinctive way and can write jingles that stick in your head all day. His school doesn’t do a level music - I slightly wish he had been able to do it but he would probably still be saying eh doesn’t know what to do!

Anyone else got a DS who is all vague and has no idea?

Yes mine. He has no idea if he even wants to go to uni never mind what course he’d study.
Also has no idea for potential apprenticeships or jobs.
He’s doing English, psychology and economics, is enjoying psychology the most but not enough for a degree apparently

@MirandaWest yes my dd. The advice I got was , either gap year or choose a uni that you like and pick as broad a subject as possible eg a mixed honours, as most uni’s will let you change course.

Mine hasn't got a clue either. He's not keen on the idea of leaving home at 18 (and with his SENs I agree its probably not wise) so we are looking at unis within commuting distance, also degree courses run at FE colleges locally but it does limit the choice and he may feel left out of uni life living at home. On the other hand he's not hugely sociable.

Yes it is very difficult. Mine has a subject they like best but still doesnt want to spend 3 or 4 years studying it attempting self motivation. I think we will try for apprenceticeships or jobs and apply to uni and defer to keep both options open.

I'm encouraging a year out too. It just seems to make sense, especially at the moment. Dd is fairly sure she'll do a Psychology degree, but a year out gives her time to confirm that in her own mind.

@whatsnext2 I was the same and so I took 'Combined Arts' which was basically three subjects. Once at uni I found I much preferred History, so I switched at the end of year 1 and ended up with a History degree. I still didn't know what I wanted to do career -wise, but History is a useful degree.. I did six months of a PGCE before realising that wasn't right either! Sometimes you just have to work things out by trying stuff..

@MirandaWest

I have dropped off here a bit as have been stressed about DH (his mum died last May and he’s been up and down and currently more down) and also DS doesn’t know what he wants to do after year 13 and anything school does just makes him go “if I don’t know what I want to do then how does it help?”

Have said to him I will do some research for him and then we can discuss together. He’s doing maths, geography and religious studies, doesn’t want to do maths, doesn’t know what job he might want to do and basically doesn’t know where he wants to go.

He is very good at music in an instinctive way and can write jingles that stick in your head all day. His school doesn’t do a level music - I slightly wish he had been able to do it but he would probably still be saying eh doesn’t know what to do!

Anyone else got a DS who is all vague and has no idea?

Up until recently yes, but finally we seem to have cracked it! I was starting to wonder what he had planned after college

Also, my brother was kind of forced into a degree (after a year out) by my parents as that was 'what you did'. I'm not sure it was the right decision (although I'm also not sure what he'd have done otherwise - he was quite immature). He got a 2:2 (and really struggled with motivation all the way through) which basically ruled him out of lots of graduate schemes. I suppose it gave him 3 years to grow up a bit...

I don't know, it's so tricky. I know we will have a real dilemma when ds gets to this point...

That's the thing, no point doing any old degree for the sake of it. I coasted a bit on mine and got a 2:2 (alongside about half of my course colleagues) and the only thing it stopped me doing was going straight into a PhD, which I didn't want to do anyway so it wasn't a problem. I did get onto a graduate scheme, but things have changed a lot in the intervening years. I think DS will be looking at apprenticeships and jobs too.

I should say that taking a course with a year industrial placement was one of the best decisions I have ever made, it was a huge part of the reason I found work fairly easily with my 2:2.

DS1 was and still is a nightmare. He is one that some on MN would have told to do an apprenticeship but he never had any practical skills or vocational leaning at al. He is now at uni in year 2 and being equally detached and unmotivated there. It kicked in in about year 8, year 9 was awful (they start a new school in year 9 here); year 10 was good and year 11 was OK. A Level years both bad. Some of them just need pushing and shoving and cajoling. It is very draining.

If I ever seems smug about DS2 or overly pleased to have him, this is why!!

Sympathies @Piggywaspushed! I think it’s probably easier to do it the other way round like I am and have the motivated/independent one first! Does ds1 have any idea what he’ll do next?

Yes agree with the drainingness of it. My God.

Not that I know of crazy...

Piggy It is draining, if you remember I have one too, ds1. He too is plodding along in year 2. I think lockdown has made things worse as all the work experience/societies I was encouraging him to do, now he can't do anyway, so an opportunity to spend even more time stuck in his room. I think some just take a while to properly grow up.

At least he is studying, is he on top of all his coursework Piggy? if he is then, there's hope he will eventually find what he likes when he graduates, at least he will a good qualification behind him.

@crazycrofter NO!!! I am delighted I had lazy ds1 first, because he is such hard work and I was a bit younger and a hell of a lot fitter so could deal with his shenanigans. Now, I have fibromyalgia, I'm more tired mentally and just older. Thank God ds2 is so motivated and racing ahead. The other way round would have been a complete shock to the system.

I certainly do shimy. i think all of us who were there remember your backpack!

He was texting me yesterday to ask me questions about his essay...

Such a big fuss over nothing.

If he's texting about his work i'd see that as a positive, it means he's engaged. It's probably because your're a teacher and perhaps within your knowledge area?. It could be worse, he could just not submit and stay in bed hoping it'll go away.

@shimy don’t say that! Mine are only two years apart though so hopefully I’ll still have enough energy to push ds through the next few years. Sorry about the fibromyalgia though 😢

Was that @Shimy with the backpack? 🤣 I remember the post but not who wrote it.

I also remember the backpack but not whose it was!

DD is in year 10 and told me she’s started researching Oxford colleges. So I imagine she’ll be a jut different. I sometimes like it that DS is very chilled but at other times I want to stick a poker up him

Who would have thought a backpack would cause so much excitement on MN. Those two posters were practically apoplectic, 'How dare she buy HER SON A BACKPACK! I wonder if people would be so annoyed if it were a mother asking about buying her DD a pair of tights or a handbag?

Oh how I long for the days when certain posters were tense about a mum choosing a backpack for her son! It’s like an alternative university/universe now. By the way, last term I found a really good dettol-sprayable one that stands up by itself, opening wide like a tawny frogmouth at the top for big ring binders for my daughter (16)! Lots of side pockets for hand sanitiser and masks. I can send you a link Shimy if you want

Yes please, I'll save it for DS2 .