SW London boys, 11+ grammars and independents

[Jumpalicious]

Hello, I know there’s an excellent thread for the girls. Not sure if there’s one for the boys? Anyone want to come on board? I know we can’t divulge details of round two grammars since there will be late sitters, but was thinking more of a support thread. Any takers?

@GrammarHopeful ahh I had missed the bit about his ASD DX upthread. But presumably Hampton are aware of it also? If so, they will no doubt very much be aware that his discomfort will have been linked to the ASD. My eldest is also on the spectrum and would have struggled massively with this format at 11, so a huge well done to your boy on doing as well as he did. Only time will tell for any of us with offers but I really wouldn’t assume the worst based on what you’ve said.

@Growupsofast RGS is just 10 minutes on teams, no academic stuff as far as I can tell from the email, just general chat.

Whoever asked about the Hampton box and whether it was mentioned - DS says not so I wouldn’t worry about that.

Thanks again, @FlyingPandas. Yes, Hampton are of course aware of DX, had been sent relevant info, etc., but I had a distinct impression that the two teachers interviewing didn't know and/or were under the instruction to interview him in exactly the same way they would any other neuro-typical boy...

Sorry to hear that GrammarHopeful but is echo what others have said. None of our boys are going to be themselves in such a strange scenario, and the schools will be making allowances for that. I'd focus on the positives - if he did well in the academic part, that's a huge achievement. Big hug and hopefully forget about it - at least it's done and you can move on.

Hi All, reading with great interest, such a nerve wracking process! Well done to all DCs.
Anyone know any more about the Westminster 11+ process?

@GrammarHopeful sounds like your DS smashed the maths & reading and was open honest about the softer questions. The interviewers are probably tightly scheduled this being early still days bedding in the interview format. Try not despair, the interview process is so incredibly challenging this year without stepping foot onsite. Sending hugs 💐

@GrammarHopeful Uff this is such a harsh process! Given your poor DS was in tears after the event, it says quite a lot that the school didn’t put him at ease... maybe not the best school for him? Do you have trinity lined up, which may be gentler (not sure, just from what I’ve read on here!)

@GrammarHopeful Feel for both of you, this is such a rough process for them. I’m hopeful we can overthink this and they don’t need to be perfect.

I like to think they have all done great to get this far - preparing, sitting exams and for Hampton, doing well enough to get an interview. I’m pretty proud of DS no matter what - think all of them have done pretty good to get through it. Bring on Feb!

If you have entered you DS for a dozen different schools and tutored him heavily for two years it is no wonder he is going to have trouble at interview stage.

Independent schools are looking for well-rounded kids that are naturally bright and haven't been tutored in order to game the system.

The also look for kids that want to go to their school.

Think of it from the poor school registrar's perspective. If a child (or their pushy parent) has entered their DC for 10 different schools they can only end up at 1 of them. So an independent offering the child a place may have a 1 in 10 chance that the place will be accepted. If everyone did that they'd have to offer 10x the amount of available places!!!
They are therefore going to want the kids that they know have a much higher chance of accepting the offer.

Spare a thought for the DC who really does want to go to a certain school but who might be put on a waiting list because the place is held by someone who is waiting for a better offer from one of the half a dozen other schools that they applied to.

Spare a thought for DC whose parents are not trying to game the system; whose DS has not been heavily tutored for 2 years; who has not applied for extra time even though he has ADHD; who is not using an independent as a back-up for a grammar school failure.

Spare a thought before you moan about how an interview didn't go so well at one of the 10 schools you've applied for and look inside yourself and wonder why that might really have happened....

Jog on @grammarhopeless.
This thread is not for the likes of you

I hope you feel better having for having got that off your chest @grammarhopeless.

Maybe spare a thought for the ‘poor DC’ at state school who hadn’t even heard the word ‘algebra’ before lockdown started

@GrammarHopeful: keep the faith! I’m just thinking all this will be over by end of March. Have you heard back from Whitgift or trinity yet? Apologies if you’ve already mentioned this! Kings also likes “quirky” boys I think? My brother teaches maths at a top uni and has looooads of boys who sound just like your son.

@GrammarHopeful - popping over from the girls' thread, but been watching your journey through all this and wanted to say something as today's trolling from @grammarhopeless is vile. It sounds like your DS has coped amazingly and also worked tirelessly, so I'm sure he'll find just the right school and will be fulfilled and happy. It's a stressful process for everyone but people should be able to lay down their emotions and concerns without judgement, and not be met with derision (or envy!).

I agree with you @knowtomysogyny
There is a big difference between a state school kid getting a few extra lessons during lockdown to make sure they've covered the whole curriculum and a child that has been hothoused by their pushy parents and tutored for 2 whole years!

It's the children I feel sorry for. No wonder they buckle under the interviews if they have been put under so much pressure and made to sit for so many different schools.

Sorry gramnarhopeless but I think criticising other posters and saying we should all be 'sparing a thought' for any DC on waiting lists etc is a bit rich. Any child who is in a position to potentially go to one of the schools on this thread (or any other independent school) is in a very fortunate position compared with the vast majority of children in this country, and I'm sure the parents on the thread all realise that.

We're applying from state primary for independent secondary (not one of those mentioned here), we have a naturally bright child who hasn't been tutored, we will have a grammar place if it doesn't come off, and we consider ourselves incredibly fortunate to be in this position. Hopefully the school will recognise DS's potential in his forthcoming exam and interview even if he isn't as prepared as some of the other candidates. If he ends up on a waiting list because of other children getting multiple offers, then so be it - presumably it won't be long before those places are released and re offered, once deposits are due and parents have to make a final decision.

@BookShark, @EnolanotAlone, @Growupsofast, @dazedandconfused11plus Thanks very much for your kind words and support.

@PatoPato, @NoToMisogyny I am not even going to dignify this with an answer. Trolls hate that :wink:

@Jumpalicious We should hear back from Trinity and KCS this coming Tuesday re interviews. Fingers crossed!

We originally thought Hampton may be too "sporty" for us, but then I had a very positve converation with the admissions team there, so we decided to apply, particuarly given they went ISEB. I and, more importantly, DS liked Teacher 1 a lot yesterday, but Teacher 2 and him just didn't click, on reflection, so who knows what'll happen...

Teacher 2 was an older gentleman, so DS asked him "You've obviously been here for a long time, how does the school make a new boy feel special, like a real Hamptonian?" (he has this somewhat idealistic fairy tale image of independent senior schools at the moment, where everyone is very well-behaved and wants to learn all the time...). To which T2 said "You can be good at whatever it is that you like to do, as we have huge number of things on offer: for example, we even have a bee keeping club!" Cue DS2: "Oh, no! I am TERRIFIED of bees!" :fgrin:

@GrammarHopeful I guess we need to remember this process is as much about US understanding whether the school is right for our children (in part discerned by how they interview the kids!).

This is a transaction. We are potentially paying £20k x 7 at a minimum. Also, in these COVID times, we don’t even know when schools will be back to normal (& this is the first cohort that will go “willingly” into the process, knowing we will be paying £20k, potentially for a year of zoom lessons!). Who knows, but worth remembering they depend on US too.

Had received an email from KCS earlier today. Sadly, they won't be inviting DS to an interview.

Hope others have better luck than us!

@GrammarHopeful we are in the same boat. DS also not invited for an interview at KCS.
Onwards and upwards!

@GrammarHopeful @Queenofhearts1 - all the best, stay positive and, this year of all years there is going to be change, I’m sure it will work out.

We had positive news from KCS, tbh DS has done better than we expected so he was pleased. Not sure if or how we would prep for the written English component.

Plus the RGS interview, then that is all we have left. Just waiting for letters to arrive after that. I don’t envy the admission teams over the next weeks, it must be crazy. For us just anxious and quiet.

@GrammarHopeful
You don’t have to be sporty to get an offer from Hampton eg the music department is incredible as are the theatre productions for which they - at times - collaborate with LEH. Look on Youtube when you have a moment.

We’re SE and not doing grammar as too far but have one interview coming up and waiting to hear on the other

I wasn’t going to listen in on it. Think it might be better to be in the dark ;

Sorry to hear about KCS, @GrammarHopeful and @Queenofhearts1 and well done to your DS @Growupsofast.

All of our DC have done so well, just to get as far as they have, tbh.

We also have RGS interview this weekend and then it is just the wait game for us. Completely agree about feeling sorry for admissions teams. They’re in for a stressful few months I feel!

@MarshaBradyo good luck to your DS, I can highly recommend not listening outside the door! Thing is there’s nothing you can do even if you hear them come out with a complete clanger, or really struggle with a question, it’ll just stress you out. Ignorance is bliss, I say!

@FlyingPandas yes ignorance is definitely bliss- although I was outside the door in case of technical and my gosh was it stressful when he took an age to answer one of the questions!

However, I did come away feeling incredibly proud of how well he did in such a stressful situation!

I’m now torn between ignorance is bliss and curiosity re what goes on in these interviews

Flying very true. I’m usually a leave him to it type