2 questions from a rookie year 7 parent!

[seeker]

The first one is quite simple. How much help do you give with homework? My dd does hers in the living room - she occasionally asks questions which we sometimes answer but usually tell her how to find out the answer. If it's something interesting we might discuss it. When she's finished, if she wants me to, I cast an eye over it, and, for example,if she's divided 8 by 2 and got 2 I suggest she might have another look at number 7. I might read a draft story and suggest she expands an idea or checks the spelling. Very "light touch" or so I thought. I was talking to another parent who says that they should do their work on their own completely. His daughter goes to her room, does her work, packs her bag and her parents don't even check to see if she's done it all. WHo do you agree with?

Second. Yesterday dd had a special choir practice for an assembly first period. Music teacher said she would tell form tutor. DD missed science. She then got a stern note from science teacher saying that she should have come to excuse herself in person, they did a test and dd is to do the test this lunchtime. DD is upset that she did something wrong withoug realizing it, and upset that she'll miss her lunch and drama club. But I also see the teacher's point of view. What do you think? Bit harsh? Or is that what would happen at your school?

First question: I go for the second option. I don't get involved in dd1's work at all, unless she asks me to. But it depends on the child.

Second: Possible failure of communication on the part of the school, but I think she should take it on the chin.

Prob not what you want to hear? But I think they do need to take responsibility for themselves at this stage.

On question 1, I'm with the parent who says they should do their work on their own entirely. Let them take responsibility for their actions and inactions, and don't distort the teacher's view on how well pupils understand the current topic. If DS1 actually wanted to come and talk to me about an interesting homework, I wouldn't chase him out of the kitchen though.

On question 2, it sounds as if your DD was misled by the music teacher and hasn't really done anything wrong (but it is worth remembering the music teacher's side of the story may be different). If she would have to miss lunch (as in the actual meal), I'd raise hell. If there are longer term consequences to missing the drama club, likewise I'd have a go at the school about the matter. Otherwise, I'd consider it one of those minor injustices one has to live with.

I wasn't planning on doing anything about the science test/ lunch thing - I said to dd that I didn't know whether it was fair or not, but it didn't matter - these things happen and deal with it. I also made her write a short apologetic note to put in the teacher's pigeon hole first thing - teachers can be unforgetting elephants and dd will be dealing with this one for a lot of years! I was just interested really in what people thought. And the science teacher wasn't to know that dd was in the choir, even thought her form tutor does. I'm assuming that she'll get some lunch sometime!

In year 7 we went with first option for homework as DD1 had trouble coping with the organisation of it all. Now in Year 10 she'll ask if she needs help with something (like "can you read this through please and see if it makes sense", or "I've tried x,y and z websites for this homework, where else can I look?")
For Qu. 2 DD1 would have gone ot science teacher, done a groveling apology, but made the point that music teacher had said they would pass on the message, explain about drama club, adn try and cajole science techer into letting her do the test another lunchtime. But would accept if it couldn't be changed (with much internal moaning). Unfair, yes, but good for life skills (particularly as science teacher might look more favourably on her in the future )

Re question one, I'm with you. Parental involvement in education is one of the most important elements for the child's success. This does not mean doing the homework for them, but pointing in a general direction, discussing a topic so they can get some perspective, this is all important.

I always check their homework books and sometimes look at what they have done. I regularly go through their subject books to see what marks they are getting in school and what marks they are getting for homework.

Re question two, I do find that secondary schools often expect Y7s to obey rules which they don't even know. I can understand that all rules must apply to all pupils, but it seems unfair that a child should be punished for not following a rule they didn't even know about.

DS2 (new Y7) had to attend an extra French session one lunchtime. He has school lunches and obviously has to queue for his lunch. By the time he'd had lunch, he was late for his French session. His teacher immediately gave him an after-school detention, because all the other boys had got there on time. All the other boys have packed lunches. I did point out to the head of Y7 that it is not fair to make him choose between having a decent meal at lunchtime and getting to an extra lesson on time.

at our school, if there's something on at lunchtime, they're told to eat their lunch at break . DD1 usually managed to pack her lunch to allow for snacking between classes through the whole day if she's busy at lunch though.

My dd would be eating the wallpaper if she had to go from 10.15 to 5.00 without food! Reminds me of when I used to work in a restaurant and the lunch rota started at 9.45!

I;ve started giving DS2 some high-energy snack bars to keep in his bag in case he has to miss lunch. That way at least I know he's had something at lunchtime, even if it's not the nutritious hot meal I was expecting him to have.

Ds's (yr 7) school is similar to your DD's with lots of clubs at lunch time. DS usually buys a sandwich at break and eats it at the club.

DS is not very organized so I do have to make sure he is doing the homework that is due, but other than french and german we leave him to get on with it unless he asks for help. Usually he is asking how to spell things.

French and german he has a mental block on at the moment and I have to make him flash cards to help him learn numbers, colours etc.

Hmm - I must think about this. I always thought it was part of my job to help her organize herself - especially in the first year of secondary school. But there seems to be a majority here in favour of sink or swim. ANy more votes?
There is also the minor point that if she doesn't sit in the living room while she does her homework, we'd never see each other - apart from briefly over dinner!

We adopt your approach to homework seeker. She always asks us to read over her work and I'll suggest she rewords something if it doesn't make sense for example. I'll also test her on her french vocab. She sometimes comes through though to say she doesn't understand something (usually maths) - we'll try to explain but if she still doesn't get it we tell her she has to go and ask her teacher for more help.

On q1 we leave ds to do his homework in his room on his own but if he asks us for help with something specific we give it (as best we can!) I keep track of what's going on by taking occasional looks in his books and seeing what marks he's got and why but generally I think it's best for them to get on with it independently.

I too leave dd to get on with homework, if it is English she will often tell me what she has written and I have to encourage her to write some more. Any other subject she works out for herself and does seem to put more effort into Secondary School homework than she did in Primary.
She has also had a couple of things that have happened since starting Y7 that I have felt haven't been wholly fair, but although she tells me about them to get them off her chest, we both agree that life can be unfair sometimes and leave it at that.

At my school, girls who can't make it to a lesson because of a school activity have to excuse themselves ahead of time. They can't assume that a subject teacher is going to know about everyone who is in a special activity, doing a peripatetic music lesson, etc.

I would have someone who missed a test make it up during lunch, but I would not prevent them from having lunch. A core (or indeed any) lesson has to trump drama club.

SueW -when DD did clarinet she always used to ask at the end of the previous lesson if she could be excused from the next (ie, if she would be missing science, she'd ask at the end of the previous science lesson)

As a Yr 7 teacher, we encourage parents to get involved with the homework side of things. At least check that she's doing it, plus we also like to know if homework takes longer than the allocated time or if a student is struggling significantly at home but not wanting to tell us that they are. I ask parents to help students work on their punctuation - so a student might read her story aloud to a parent and the parent helps point out where the child paused when reading - then child can check for full stops/connectives used appropriately. Please don't stop doing what you're doing - it sounds just what's needed from a teacher point of view!

just a quick hijack for christywhisty ...

here are sone good websites for your dc to help them with their French and German ...

zutsection

languages online

bbc

As a teacher, I'd be happy with your approach to homework ... it's when you do it for them that problems start!

Slayerette, I have just been to my Yr 7 dds target setting day and when I said that the homework was taking an inoridnate amount of time - sometimes up to 7 at night from 3.30 he just said that is the way it is.

As a Year 9 form tutor, I always ask my pupils how long they have been spending on their prep when I sign their diaries. I also check the work that has been set.

As a parent, I read my children's diaries when I sign them. Other than that, I don't get involved unless asked.

Thanks for the links ejt1764

My ds's geography teacher says she marks the work what she thinks should be half an hour of work, but she does understand that some children will spend more time, just because they want to. However she would be quite happy for the parents to sign off after 30 minutes, if the parents feel the child has made a good effort.

I support in a secondary school & for one homework, a pupil admitted that his mum had done it - the teacher thanked him for his honesty and wrote a note to the mum, saying she had done a good job & gave her 10/10

I think if your child is taking a long time completing homework, you should write a note either on the homework or in homework diary etc to explain. The guidance we say is that a subject shouldn't take longer than 40mins

Toothicky - that can't be right? 3.5 hours a night? I wouldn't let that happen if I were you - what happens if you time , say, an hour and a half, the send a note saying that was all he could manage? He needs tome to play, relax, watch telly, eat, interact with fmily, msn - all important stuff.

mine are past year 7 now but I always asked if they had done their homework. Didn't usually discuss it unless they wanted to do so. It's now getting to the stage where I couldn't help if I tried!

At our school if you miss a test you have to do it as soon as possible. I can understand that - it discoursges kids from bunking off/ trying it on.

I did rite a polit note onc about the length of time a piece of work had taken. Response was that they should stop after 30 minutes.