How do you call the headmaster in email?

[gcsepanicmum]

I had to write an email to the headmaster. I wrote 'Dear Mr xxxx' and signed my full name. He replied to me 'Dear (my first name) and signed his first name. Should I take it as an invitation to call him by his first name or should I stick to the initial form I used which will be 'Mr xxxx'?

He didn't say, 'call me (his first name)' so I feel it's a bit too cheeky of me to jump into following his suit. I wouldn't like to sound too cold, but I would like to sound as polite as possible. We are discussing some issues at school.

I need to write a reply soon. Can anyone give me advice, please? I really appreciated it.

MoriaNotRuby, aww, thanks. I wish I could disable my panic button.

I tend to feel awkward to call someone who I am supposed to show respect (so basically anyone in a teaching position) by their first name. However I call the other members of school staff by their first name, just because that's how we started under the previous leadership. It might be slightly odd to single him out by persistently calling him with his title. So I would go with his first name this time.

Thanks for the advice, everyone.

It depends what your email was about.

If you are making a complaint or are writing about something serious using your first name could be a way to downplay what you are saying..."look we are all friends here"...

I think too much.

I get what you mean. The content of the email is rather serious. I wouldn't like to come across I am complaining though. I would like him to interrupt it that I am looking for a solution together with the school. So calling him by his first name might add a balance and soften the overall tone in a positive way. I think.

I would use Dear Mr and sign myself off as Mrs. I find it quite dis-respectful that he has addressed you by your first name.

I used to use Mr or Mrs when writing to a teacher and I can't quite put my finger on why. Mind you I find myself unable to call former teachers of my own anything other than eg Mrs Davies or Mrs H, despite being in my 40s and them finding it quite funny. I have a few former teachers on Facebook and it doesn't feel right to call them Sheila or Geraldine!

I am Chair of Governors at DS2's school so use Mr/Mrs when emailing school as a parent and first names when as a governor. Helps to differentiate different hats!

Oh well, I've sent out already...

I use Mr/Mrs of Miss (if I know that's the title they use) or Ms if I don't know.

I always sign off with my first and last name.

However, interestingly they often reply with Dear Mrs xxxxx despite knowing I am divorced and my last name is not the same as my son! I really don't like being called Mrs!! Mrs xxxxx is my mum!!

*or not of

I generally start with Mr/ Ms XX and if they address me by first name and sign off by first name switch to that if I feel comfortable doing so. Continuing with Mr/ Ms XX is perfectly polite and fine though.

I always addressed my child’s junior school headmaster by his title and surname, even though we obviously know eachother as parent/teacher and I have volunteered in school. It’s just a respect thing, and I’m old fashioned with stuff like that!

He will always address me as Dear Sailingtelltales and sign off with his first name however.

When in doubt, always defer to tradition. You’ll be advised if the recipient thinks it’s too formal by how they address you in return.

This is such a quagmire of an issue and I never get it correct. I’ve emailed the Head as Mr X and also his first name and then reverted. What irks me more is how I’m addressed. I never changed my surname, am divorced (informed school) and go by my professional title. I’ve had Mrs ex’s surname, Dr ex’s surname, Ms my surname, Mrs my surname, Dr my surname. It is the only context anyone refers to me as Mrs/Ms and I just want to be adreased as Milominster. And now I realize I’ve just emailed a teacher Miss new married surname, not realizing she was previously known by her maiden name until DS pointed it out. I think adults should address each other by their first names unless it’s inappropriate to do so.