How involved are you in your teen's school work?

[allornothing77]

Just wondering how much parents help their children with their school work? Do you remind them to read, revise etc, do you help them revising, or do you just let them get on with it?

At the moment I just let them get on with it (DS age 14, DD age 13, DS age 11). But I am prepared to get more involved if I ever need to, eg if a report or parents evening was concerning.

At the moment, letting get on with it. So far, all ok. I will help when asked or if I thought things were slipping.

DD1 (14) doesn't get homework (special school - they feel that the effort of school life and travel to/from school is enough of a challenge).

DD2 (13, ASD) often needs me to sit beside her, because she gets very stressed and anxious. Today, she couldn't remember what 1×4 was, because she'd got stressed over a new word in maths.

DD3 (11) is very independent, so I just keep an eye on Google Classroom. She tends to do the work, then asks me to read it before she presses submit.

When I was at school, I just got on with it unless I needed help, then I asked.

At the moment very.

I just let my DSs get on with it or not I've spent years whole of half term doing GCSE work with DD or that's what it feels like

• most of

It does feel like days

I painfully sit next to my 3 children wondering why they are not more independent...,
(I think i know what i am doing wrong!)

All my 3 crack on with it themselves. I never ever see what they submit. If they’re stuck they may ask me or each other. I will ask DD3 (11) if she’s up to date with hers. They sometimes tell me bits about what they’re studying DD2(15) especially chats about her history topics and I may ask questions around that but it’s more of a discussion iyswim.

Only can truly help to end of yr11. After that they start doing stuff beyond my usual reservoir of knowledge. Mostly I let them get on with it on own, but will always help if asked.

None after primary. My son dod (hes in college now) need a lot of prodding but I didn't sit with him or anything. My daughter is extremely organised and needs no help at all (except last night when she laughed hysterically at my German accent while quizzing her for her oral exam). She got a distinction so must have helped!

From the start of year 7 you live with your own decisions don't do homework and get a detention your own problem.
I will provide help if asked, but only if asked. Usually my answer if another question designed to suggest the correct direction or tease out the answer via a different route.

DD 15 - Pretty much gets on with everything herself but will discuss things with me and ask for advice.

DS - 13 (ASD) - Need to do everything with him or nothng will get done. So in lockdown / isolation that's me reading everything to him, writing his answers, researching topic so I can teach it, finding alternatives if he struggles with set work, same in isolations. Rest of time I monitor homework and get him to do with me. There's also daily e-mails from school and lots of meetings.

Dd(14) and Ds (12) both get on with it themselves. I help dd with revision sometimes before a test or they nip down to ask the meaning of a word sometimes but otherwise they do it all on their own.

I think I leant on my mum too much as a high school student and it meant I was never very confident in my own ability.

I think it depends if they have additional needs surely? My DD Y8 is very dyslexic and I pretty much tutor her every night. We spend about anywhere from 1hr to 3hrs every evening doing homework, going over things she didn't understand in lessons (she brings all books home) and pre learning things her teachers have sent me for the following term. This is quite extreme though and I am aware.
My DS Y6 is neurotypical and does everything himself but does need me to help him manage his time eg give him a nudge to get on with his maths.
I think if they're neurotypical and a teenager, it's probably doing them more harm than good getting involved too much. I think I'd only really step in if it was their GCSEs and they were about to flunk due to feeling overwhelmed and not doing anything.

DS mild additional needs but entirely independent. I rarely see his school work. Its mostly on computer and posted up online to his school portal. I have been mildly worried about whether we would be in blissful ignorance and get a bad next school report but luckily the latest parents evening was very positive. I think even with mild SEN they can be self sufficient as teens. My DS has recently turned 13 (year 8). Academically all is good. We had some more challenging times when he was younger but if anything he is more of a self starter and self sufficient than most peers with no additional needs now.

My DC is in Y9 and I honestly don't get involved one little bit (but then he does not have additional needs). Even in Y7, DC was adamant that he wanted to be independent but I seem to recall uploading a few vocabulary and other terms on Quizlet in the first term. Also made him do some extra revision on BBC Bitesize into Y8, but that was about it. I never read through or suggest amendments to any written work. I also let him experience 'natural consequences' if he forgets a book or homework (demerits). Now in Y9 he gets on with it and although we have said he can always ask for our help in terms of input or if he wants us to 'test' him on vocab etc, but he never seeks it out. Like a lot of boys that age, he is a 'bare minimum' sort of chap and is not achieving straight A*s but mostly As and some Bs so until he dips from this, we will not get involved. I know that other parents get involved A LOT more (and their DS achieve all-star stellar results) but I just don't have the energy and also wonder whether perhaps some of the high anxiety levels reported when kids go to uni, is when children have been use to getting lots of assistance and then feel lost when left to their own devices at uni. I do envisage I am likely to be getting more involved nearer the GCSEs, but it all depends on how DC is doing.

DS 15 and DS 13: Not at all. I leave them to get on with it. If one asks for help (which is rare) I’ll give it, and I’ll get them any extra materials or books they ask for, but their homework and revision are for them to schedule and them to do. I don’t think I’ve seen any work that DS2 has done all year, and DS1 has messaged me with a couple of screenshots of high marks when he’s trying to persuade me to give him extra allowance! They’re on track for 9s and 8s, so the approach is working.

One of my children found many subjects difficult. Teachers had a lot of concerns. They could have done with some help, I thought, but adamantly refused my offers because they wanted to do it by themselves, even if they got lower marks than they would have. With all of my DC, I didn’t get involved with revision or homework etc, apart from buying art materials for GCSE etc. I bought some revision books too.

I superficially monitor YR9 DD by casting an eye over the number of outstanding HW assigned/done at the weekends. We don't have the time nor the inclination to literally sit down and do them with her during the week although we can help at the weekends if she needs it.

DH has had to do some hands on DIY Maths/Sciences revision sessions with her at half term because she finds them difficult. Superb in Arts subjects but struggles in the STEM subjects. Tortuous though.

YR12 DS is on his own. We were fairly hands on at the weekends with his GCSE revision during Y11 - well, until lockdown in March. STEM A Levels are beyond me (I did Humanities) & mostly beyond DH (he did them 35 yrs ago!)

My DD is year 10. If I notice she is on her phone/mooching around or hours I ask what homework she has, she's generally good at organising herself and had a very favourable report but she does get stressed about work. I try to get her to not not leave it til the last minute but I dont have that much input. Unfortunately apart from the occassional bit of maths i can barely offer any help with homework.
I think I will have to be a lot more involved with DS. He is able but his teachers all say he does the least he can possibly get away with ....which has probably got him through primary , but I think he'll need to put more effort in (with probably a lit of prompting) when he goes to secondary. I am seeing signs of him being more organised, like setting his alarm on his watch and getting himself ready for school which is significant progress from last year.

Mine is year 12. I have practically no involvement. As she's doing mainly maths and science I doubt I'd be much use anyway.

Have 3, 2 are at secondary and y10 and y12.

I was around, and tended to get sucked into DT and art homework in the early years (y7 and 8), but never anything else. They are very able, and at very structured grammars, so same as some other posts - I said I will help if you ask, but if you forget something you will have to take the consequences.

They have been fine: once they got to about y9 neither DH or I could help with maths or sciences. Can vaguely help by playing Devil’s advocate with English or the humanities, but that it is it now!

I feel bad for y4 child: am now working F/T on my NQT year at a primary and broken. I am one of ‘those’ parents my colleagues mutter about and say ‘the mum hasn’t signed their book record for 4 weeks’’ 😁.

I worry sometimes it seems like benign neglect, but they are very conscientious, and at very intense grammar schools, so I don’t want to put any more pressure on them. Our mantra is ‘all you can do is your best, and you know if you have done your best’.

It’s hard OP - you just have to do what works for your family unit x

Not at all involved.

Massively involved.

DD1 has dyspraxia, couldn't organise her way out of a paper bag, struggles to take comprehensive notes. Ended up with 8 passes, more Bs than Cs. If I hadn't helped maybe would have scraped 3Cs, the rest would have been fails.

DD2 has a combination of things that block her learning. She needs reassurance when doing schoolwork, and help with revising.

I have a friend who barely knows what GCSEs her DD is doing. I wish...

I have always chivvied them along if it appears that homework hasn't been started in the evening (both were at schools where no homework really was unusual).

I have offered advice with research-type homework (schools seem very keen on getting to kids to use the internet without any guidance on what might be useful sites to use, and which might be reliable).

I have helped with revision time tables for exams.

I have helped with revision for tests if asked - testing vocab lists, terminology, dates etc.

I got quite involved in revision for GSCEs - using revision guides, helping with marking etc. It just gives another style of revising and breaks up the monotony a bit!

As others have said, once they got to A level, they were pretty much on their own as I didn't have the ability to help much. However, even getting them to explain to me what the problem was, or what a question was really asking etc has helped with getting things clear in their own mind on occasion.

Importantly, they have known that I have always been willing to help if they need it.