How involved are you in your teen's school work?

[allornothing77]

Just wondering how much parents help their children with their school work? Do you remind them to read, revise etc, do you help them revising, or do you just let them get on with it?

DD2 and I throw ideas around and I sometimes help her word things in essays so as not to use the same words all the time, but that's it. She's in Yr13 and has been totally independent since Yr10. DD1 was much the same, the only real contribution I made was a massive disagreement about T.S. Eliot (I love, she hates) which ended up driving her English A level coursework because she was able to articulate her interpretations and was able to get them down on paper better.

16yo ds just gets on with it, although we chat a lot about what he's doing. We walk the dog together every evening and mostly talk about school for that 40mins. I occasionally read through assignments if they sound interesting.

If he wasn't setting aside time to study, or was getting bad reports from school, I would get more involved, but I haven't needed to so far.

My 11 year old in Y7 is a nightmare. He hates school and anything to do with it but doesn’t like getting in trouble. I have to constantly remind and nag him to get his work done. I’ve tried the hard approach, to let him just get in trouble for not completing it but it causes problems on the day as he refuses to go to school and literally has a meltdown. He has no additional needs, just really doesn’t like school 🤦🏻‍♀️

Forgot to add that I sit with him for nearly every piece of homework he has .. and he gets a lot! It’s stressful and time consuming.

I have to micro manage my Y9son, he has asd and can not organise himself, I need to tell him exactly what he is doing on what day and put everything he needs in his bag with him His school are really strict and don't really make the reasonable adjustments needed for SEN. If I didn't he would always be in bother.
He sees school for the place for doing work and does the minimum he can at home so the Hone Learning planned after xmas will do us no good. I know he won't do anything :(

I have left DS to get on with it ... He is Year 11 and has just done his mocks. I mentioned revising once and was ignored.

Had a call from school (after mocks) to say DS had admitted he'd done zero revision. My plan was he would spectacularly fail and realise he needed to up his game. Unfortunately - he hasn't failed anything and according to teachers done pretty well (we haven't got results - so don't know what this actually means). BUT they expect more and his Maths teacher in particular wants more effort (he's not been engaging in lessons either) - so now I've become involved.

My plan is to help him plan some revision - and set up a routine until the end of January in the hope he will continue by himself. I have been horrendously busy with work though, so even our first week hasn't gone well as I've been having meetings until 7.30pm :(

Makes you realise - revision and school work is hard haha!

Depends on the child!!!
DC1 - nothing. He was a dream. Came out with 4 A* A levels.
DC2 - OMG. Reminders, bribes, sitting with her, almost spoon-feeding her at times. Just hoping she'll scrape through some GCSE's.

On and off depending on subjects.. Dh has helped them with maths, mainly to aid revision or explain tricky questions. He had also helped DS1 with physics as he is in top set of uber competitive school and some of the homework has been a bit crazy. It's pretty ad hoc though, eg only once in a. While or if unsure of something.

Equally I have helped with Latin or occasionally English/history, but only to get them started after a long day as opposed to helping them to do it.

So in the main they are pretty independent but we do chip in now and then.

Both pretty independent. I tend to ask what homework they have / what they did today just so I have an idea of what they are up to (and can do a gentle “haven’t you got homework to do?” if I’ve not noticed them getting on with it). I help if asked but it’s very occasional - maybe read an essay through or help with a tricky maths question or test vocabulary. DD is Y11, gets lots of homework and needs no nagging. DS is Y9, gets little homework and his school doesn’t push them at all so we strongly encourage him to eg do a bit of BBC Bitesize or research a topic. He needs nagging to revise if has test coming up. But certainly don’t sit with them unless they ask.

I have a friend who got very involved in her DC’s work. She would sit and guide them through it, help with research and on occasion do their homework for them. They are both very bright so didn’t need it but one was lazy and took advantage. That DC is now at uni and her mum is still doing it - as lectures are recorded, she listens to them and makes notes. The DC then doesn’t have to attend them self. She sometimes writes essays for them. It is ridiculous. She says if she doesn’t do it they will fail and their life will be ruined. I say that if she doesn’t do it they will have to stop being lazy and do it themselves. And if they don’t then at the age of 20 that’s their choice to ruin their own life (and anyway not having degree isn’t end of the world, it will just restrict their options). And actually by not teaching them to be independent earlier in life she has strongly encouraged them into this pattern. I think she did it because she needed to feel needed and it spiralled out of control. Whatever you do, don’t take it this far.

I know someone like the mum above too...!!!

It's all a bit beyond me, now (a-Level, not my subjects). I have been able to talk through planning bigger bits of work, methodology, wording and time management but that's about it.

DD is in Y9 and the school puts a huge effort on doing things independent. To the extreme that even when we see DD struggling she doesn’t accept help.

She just had end of term tests and we said that if they are not acceptable then we have to intervene.

We expect she needs help with maths and physics.

We keep an eye on her homework setting via the schools intranet to ensure she understands that unfinished homework means she has to miss hobbies.

Dc in yr8. I'd ask if they did homework, that's about it. I do help if they asked.