Corona Cohort’s Year 12 adventures

[FoolsAssassin]

We’ve made it into year 12 and rapidly approaching the end of the first half term .

Lots of challenges we could never imagined as we started the year but we’re all keeping on keeping on and this thread is for anyone who would like to jump on board to share the rather unusual journey this is turning out to be.

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Oh bless her. So pleased she’s back home and physically no harm had been done. Sadness is a truly underestimated challenge, but on the upside, not a constant. It’s just finding the right keys. Which we all lose from time to time

Oh pasanda that's tough. CAMHS are being a bit useless all round at the moment. Can you contact school? A referral form schools could help your case.

I find it bizarre that a refusal to engage with MH services gets you stuck off : surely those people need the most help?

Have a look at Young Minds website.

That's awful @pasanda. She's not at risk after hurting herself? I've been trying to get support from CAMHS for dd since January - they're useless. But dd has been fairly calm and stable since lockdown started.

If you think there's a chance it's ADHD, I'd pursue that instead as you may be more likely to get help that way. When I self-referred ds with suspected ADHD we were seen within a month and he got a diagnosis very quickly. You're welcome to DM me about ADHD - although I think it may present a bit differently in girls?

@pasanda sending best wishes , I hope you are both ok

so sorry to read that @pasanda, but I'm pleased you posted it on here because everyone does seem so supportive and hopefully it will help you.

Never worry about derailing a thread though, we all deal with different things, but am sure people are willing to listen to everyone about anything any time x

Very glad she is home Pasanda.Sadly I’m not surprised about CAHMs. I think Crazycrofter has made a good suggestion of looking at ADHD assessment. DD is another who had to resist Maths in sixth form. She’s hopefully going to be assessed for ADD through university soon.

You aren’t derailing the thread. We’re here to support following on from GCSE and this is all part of it. It’s a difficult time for some at the best of times and with Covid it makes things even harder 🌷

She has tried so hard lately to not self harm. She said today 'do you know how often I want to do it but stop myself' But last night something overwhelmed her. Her arm is a mess.

Camhs said she did not appear depressed or a risk to herself. That alcohol was the trigger and to therefore not drink.

We usually lock all our alcohol up as she has been known to steal it in the past but one night last week we forgot and left a whole , unopened bottle in the fridge. She had told me she had drunk it last week but it turns out she saved it.

The thing that's really upsetting is that she came into our room at 5am asking if I had any ibuprofen for period pain. Luckily I had hidden most of the pain relief last week but had two in my handbag which she took alongside all that she had in her drawer. She was mid overdosing and had spoken to me but yet still didn't let me know what she was doing

It was only after talking to a friend in the morning who persuaded her to tell me that she let me know what she had done.

I just don't understand her.

I do have a really good friend in RL who I talk to and tell everything. Ironically her daughter is one of dd's best friends from nursery school and she has just been diagnosed with adhd and it is this mum who has suggested we try to get dd assessed. Her dd is off the scale mental health wise though. Not been to school for years and has multiple agencies involved in her care.

It is ironic because who would have thought when they became friends at aged 3 they would both turn out to be so similar with their mental health woes.

Her support is invaluable and she is convinced dd has adhd.

That’s good that you have someone in RL and thank goodness your DD told a friend. I think they can be very complex at this age and they get narratives about things in their heads that aren’t totally based in reality at times. Guess this maybe part of the brain rewiring thing that happens at this age. Horrible transition time when they are expected to be adults at times but other times children and everything can get very confusing.

@pasanda absolutely seek an assessment. I say this with recent experience of DD being diagnosed with inattentive ADHD over the summer holidays. CAHMS wait was 2 years so we went down the private route and it’s been such a positive outcome for DD. PM me if you want to.

Pasanda I'm sorry your DD is really struggling. Friends daughter uses this or something like this as one tool.
www.nhs.uk/apps-library/calm-harm/

I have no experience with CAHMS so can’t offer advice on getting appropriate support but just wanted to send a virtual hug this evening and to agree with others that you should feel free to say whatever you need to on here. It is a support thread and we can all see the stresses that are arising and coming out in different ways with our DCs.

@pasanda So sorry to read about the issues your DD is facing. Sending hugs and support.

So sorry to hear this Pasandra. Don't ever think you've de-railed thread, we are here for you. Plus, we've all got bugger all else to talk about!

I too am not surprised by Camhs. I too would suggest contacting GP immediately and asking for ADHD referral.

I would also suggest considering going private at the same time. I did, and it helped a lot. I was advised to do so and it made a big difference. It's a clever way to play the system and speed things up.
I had a nightmare at NHS and DR A was dismissive.
I found out which of the main (respected) ASD consultants did private clinics. Went to see him (Dr B) and he directed us to someone else for part ADOS testing. Cost was £200, which I think was still the best money I EVER spent!!
Then when I finally got back to the NHS clinic, unfortunately Dr C saw us. But when he saw my evidence of that Dr B had directed us to his colleague, his whole attitude changed.

In other news, got covid phone call re Ds1 last night, so he's having to isolate for 2 weeks. He is highly unimpressed. Worried he'll lose his Sainsbury's job, which I assure him he won't (but you never know).

Ds2 is back at school this week, after being covid off for only one week (because the 1st week he'd been off for October 1/2 term).

I fear this is just the start of things to come.

I think you’re down south @Oblomov20? It feels like the south/rural areas are starting to catch up with the rest of the country. Here in the Midlands, there’s been constant cases in schools since the first week of September. I’m quite amazed my kids have avoided self isolation so far. It feels like people are dropping all around them!

Hope things are looking a bit brighter today @pasanda. You probably need to find out who deals with ADHD in your area. For us, a GP referral was a waste of time - in fact the GP referred to the wrong team, so it was sent back and the surgery missed it. In the end I self-referred to a local organisation which says it’s the city’s ‘mental health partnership for 0-25 year olds’ (looking online now). The same organisation have been a nightmare for dd (general anxiety/depression) and we’re still awaiting help but for ADHD it was really quick - I wondered if it was because it’s an easy win. We had 2 appointments, and questionnaires filled in by school and us and then a diagnosis. It hasn’t been a magic bullet but it opened the door to more support and understanding at school and more self awareness and self care on ds’ part.

Yes CrazyCrofter, we are Heathrow area.

Here 2 of my friends with dc at local secondaries have had no cases, and are shocked at our 8. Our school is reasonably big comparatively with 2000 students. Other friends know of a friend-of-a-friends dc who had you isolate, with shock and astonishment.

Honestly they are a right bunch of numpties, highly intelligent, but country bumpkins.

Passandra such a tough time. Can’t believe Camhs said that (well I can actually nothing they say or do would surprise me)

I do hope you both get the support you need.

@Oblomov20 ah you're not a million miles from us. DS had to go back to school yesterday and was gutted not to be isolated after the reported case this weekend in his year. I had to remind him that it was a lot better for him to be taught in the class room than sitting on his own on Teams, I think he was just thinking of lying in bed! We've been quite lucky with the limited number of cases around here so far. I hope it stays low but I'm not holding my breath.

He got his grade back on the surprise essay and it was not good. Apparently the teacher has marked down those that were handed in late. DS is quite rightly not very happy about that, his report comes out this week and after doing so well for that first half term he is stressing that the grades on the report won't show that because of this one essay. I've told him we have to move onwards and upwards but I'm a massive hypocrite because I hang on to everything and rage about them years later!!

Report week for us too this week and then parents evening next week.

We don't get a parents meeting, w are instead having five minutes with a form tutor on Teams. Yay.

Parents evening in a couple of weeks. Virtual of course. Not sure how it will work. Normally we'd get to see both subject teachers for each subject plus the form tutor so that's 9 sessions for us, each 5 minutes long. Despite booking appointments, slots always overrun. In RL it's easy to watch a teacher's queue and just jump in when they have a gap if you missed your appointment due to a previous chatty parent. Not sure how that works on TEams. DD reckons they'll just pull the plug after 5 mins

Hey to local Popcorn.

No parents evenings for us till March I think.

@Seeline that’s what we have been told by the school, 5 mins and cut off once the time is up! Not sure how we talk about 4 subjects in five minutes but hey ho.

We can see both Maths teachers, one physics and one computer science (they have been allocated students in advance). Instructions say DS mustn’t book consecutively and will need to give our email so we can join the meeting with DS from his accommodation which is going to be very weird.

We have just done DD's year 10 parents eve online and it was fantastic. The system booked slots for us, we saw all her subject teachers one after the other, exactly 5 mins each which was long enough as there's none of the standing up, shaking hands, sitting down, shuffling papers. I think the teachers probably had gaps of 30s to a minute between slots (and hopefully some breaks). No distraction, no one else possibly overhearing, no loitering and doing the "who's next" thing. It wasn't Teams it was a different platform, we just had to sign in with email and a few details.