GCSE Summer 2020 Thread 10: Carry on Corona Cohort ‘The Next Step''

[OrangeCinnamon1]

Welcome all to the 10th Thread for this year's GCSE cohort - the Corona Cohort!

This is a thread for supporting all young people ( and their parents) who were examined for GCSEs 2020 regardless of the institute they attended or the grades they needed. It is respectfully requested that we are all supportive and helpful to each other.
If you want to start a debate e.g state vs private - please do not within this thread.
Similarly it should be recognised that the grades our children needed/deserved/wanted will vary across the board- we wish to celebrate and comiserate with all. One same grade outcome can simultaneously cause joy and despair for different posters and their families. Please be sensitive when responding to threads about grade outcomes.

Some of us have been here since I started first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. It is hoped this will continue. Going forward we intend to stay on the Secondary Education Board (at least until Mumsnet HQ chuck us out grin ) as from now on our DS/DD may go down various paths such employment, apprenticeships, higher ed etc so we decided not to be exclusionary.

Any new threads should have 'GCSE Summer 2020 Thread # : Carry on Corona Cohort' in title just to make it easier to find. There is no preciousness about who starts new threads!

At this precise moment in time it us 'results day ' most have GCSE results and some awaiting BTEC results .

We are all ALWAYS trying to protect our young people's mental health, which the government claims is their priority...when they talk about wanting students back in schools/college in September popping this here.

previous thread

@Heifer I didn't know Pyschology was counted as a science. Yes ds1 isn't going on to do medicine so no other science needed. He got A's in all 3 sciences at gcse but didn't enjoy physics or chemistry enough to continue.

Ds1 goes to UEA having only taken one science A level.

Thanks @Monkey2001. That is really useful. Need to check each one indivudually so that's a great start. DD only got a 6 in Chem GCSE so that will rule her out of Southampton. I think tbh it will mean medicine won't be for DD but just looking has lead to other course she may be interested in that she would qualify for. Also it's one thing meeting the criteria and another getting accepted :-)

Thank you for all your suggestions. You will all never know how much it has meant to me to be able to come on here and talk about it all. I don’t really have any close friends as I’m a very shy person. @singingstones the first year the headmaster was brilliant and kept the bullies on a tight leash. April 2019 the school had a new SLT take over and things got really bad. The group of bullies have links with a well known local criminal gang so all the other kids really terrified of them. I believe the new headmaster felt intimidated by the bullies and their connections as all he did was pay lip service to the bullying. The incidents were so bad that I had to call the police in, but their hands were tied as my son was to scared to give them a formal statement. Everyday I would be at work dreading that any moment I’m going to get a phone call saying my son has been seriously hurt. On one occasion the bullies waited for him after school chased him and threatened him with a knife if he “snitched” on them. Just the thought of another two years of tears, frustration and anger from my son stresses me out.

@Oblomov20

Small world piccolo, fiddler, somemore.

This is also the college DD is considering - small world indeed.

Thanks for all who have offered subject advice on history topics. DD is going to her final interview tomorrow at the college, whilst waiting for feedback on a third option. This would be to stay at school but to do Classics under consortium arrangements at a nearby school. This will depend on timetables aligning though. And whether any mixing is allowed under Covid19.

@User120673 all that doesn't sound good. Your son has been through a lot. My oldest was bullied through primary school then in our area they all move on to the same secondary school where the bullies still upset him. It's only a small village school so it's nothing to the extent you are talking about. But it's still sad to see a child not enjoying childhood.

Being anonymous on here is great isn't it?

 @User120673 This is awful - I can't imagine how distressing this is for you both. These are my suggestions, sorry if they are not feasible or you have already tried

1. Alternative option? If there are other places he could go, try them first.

1. A meeting with the school - are the bullies staying on for sixth form? If not, maybe it would be ok for him. If they are staying on, ask the school to help get him into the college. Remind them what he has been through, that the police have been involved. Make them feel guilty for not protecting him. Tell them that his health is at risk and so is his attendance. (Their attendance figures!) Get them to tell the college that they're confident he will pass the retake if he is not terrified all the time. I know SLT has changed but if there is anyone still there who is sympathetic, a subject teacher, head of year, pastoral care, get them involved too.

1. GP - take him to the GP and explain that you're worried about his mental health and why. Ask them to write a letter explaining how important it is for his health that he is allowed to move settings.

1. Meeting with college - explain the circumstances, hopefully with the back-up of the school and GP (maybe the police would also be able to confirm what's been happening). Ask what he can do to be admitted - could he spread his qualifications over 3 years, so just start one in Y12 and concentrate on English, with two chances to retake in Y12. So study one thing Y12-13 and the rest Y13-14. Say you'll get a tutor even if you won't, just one or two sessions would fulfil this promise and might help him. They will start off by saying they're full but don't give up - ask them what you're supposed to do. What would they do if it were their kid?

1. Who runs the college? We don't really have them around here but I guess if not the LEA, there must be a body in charge and they might have someone who is responsible for safeguarding / pastoral care? See who you can find.

1. MP - I have never used my MP but some are very good at helping with individual cases. Another well-timed letter might swing it.

Out of ideas now but maybe others will have more. I am shy too and would feel very daunted by this but you just have to do it anyway - in a week this could all be over. Your DS might have to talk to people (like the GP) and may be reluctant but explain to him that you are going to fight to sort this but it involves getting help from others and he has to do his part to convince people too.

Good luck!

User120, singing Has given you a lot of practical suggestions.

I agree. I have Never told any of you lot my history. the absolute nightmare I had many years ago with DS1's primary, who claimed that he didn't have ASD traits and they reported me to social services saying that I had Munchhausen's (yes really).

I had to fight. And I'm suggesting that to you now User. You have to be organised and meticulous.

Get ready today for tomorrow.
Plan who you are you going to ring. And email. In what order. Make lists today.

I had big black folder and I noted down every time I spoke to anyone. Jane Brown, Senco, Monday 24/8/20 10.30am. I asked for her job title, her email address, and then I followed every phone call up with an email: "Just to clarify....". That way you have a paper trail.

People don't like it, they find it very unsettling, when you have names, dates, facts and evidence. when two weeks later , you speak to someone else, and you say :

"oh that's odd, because I spoke to Jane Brown 2 weeks ago, on Monday the 24th, at 10:24 and she said La-La-La."

That's my advice to you. Hope that's helpful.

Jesus @Oblomov20 that's another terrible story. to everyone who has had to deal with this kind of stuff or still dealing with it.

I agree, organised is good! And following up every call with an email is great advice, it unnerves people. Sad to say but sometimes you have to make yourself such a pain in the arse that it's easier for them to help you than not

User I was going to say much the same as Oblomov, paper trail is the key to this and unfortunately it is going to be a bit of a fight.

Both mine were bullied. I realised the Head has cleverly manipulated situation so we had nothing in writing so was much more clued up when it happened to DD.

I know it can feel overwhelming and just wondering if there may be a local charity who have an advocacy service ? Am on phone and struggling to look back , any SEN as if so IPSEA may be able to help.

I'm.thinking double pronged attack. At current school putting in writing everything that has happened and saying you consider what had happened to be a breach of safeguarding and that to continue after what has happened to be detrimental to his mental health and that in the circumstances please can they help you secure a place for him at the College - especially as he is being judged on CAG rather than exam performance.

Meanwhile try the pastoral.care team at the College.

Couple of interesting tweets today about exams:

@User120673 - I can’t add to the excellent advice from @singingstones, @Oblomov20 and @FoolsAssassin but just wanted to offer virtual hugs after all you and DS have been through.

Re / back to my own problems.

I've told you all that LikeIcanbewhatIwant I have timetabling issues. Ds1 wanted to do i:media for A'level. Don't even get me started on the fact we haven't had the grade for it yet, i.e. a merit or distinction - and we won't get it until Friday 28th? A week later. What a disgrace.

So now He can't do i:media even though he's done all the bridging work and now he has to do psychology. So now he just need to start on doing the bridging work for that, to be completed in the next week!!

And I didn't like how the teacher was so blasé about this. A child has their heart set on doing one subject for the last year and now at the 11th hour you need to change to a different subject! oh well !

this is where we are at at the moment, so let's just deal with the job in hand. This is where we are at now. Yes, ok I recognise, that in life, we all need to deal with the current situation, ..... but, let me stop you there, this is disgraceful. At least acknowledge the stress that has caused me and how unsettling this is to my son.

Finally as I've already told you, she was very dismissive about his two lowest grades. RE 5, English Lang 6.

RE , 5 when he should've got an 8. St a catholic school!

A 6 in English language that he wants to do at A'level. It's his first choice/favourite of A'level. l 6, yes it's good enough but he should've got at least an 8, teacher was saying he could've got a 9, if he applied himself.

I mean I just can't let this go !
I don't know why I can't let it go, but it's just really riling me.

I want to appeal. But is it pointless. I fear so.

I don't know whether to write to his head of year, who I have a very good relationship with and who I found out on Friday, is going to his HoY in Year 12, and put it in writing that I'm not happy about these 2 issues.

Oblomov I totally get why you are feeling as you do and I would feel the same, it does really suck.

Unfortunately it isn’t totally uncommon a last minute timetable change, have had a few friend’s DC’s have it happen over the years. One self studied for one subject but was far from ideal and she had to do a 3 year 6th form .

With the grades I don’t think you will get anywhere but if it makes you feel better maybe write - you don’t want to look back and think should have tried. So sorry if I am wrong but I think you said you were having issue with him not applying himself before the schools close? Very often the bright but don’t do a lot until the exams then pull it out of the bag kids have a bit of a shock at A level as that often causes them to crash and burn, they have a shock then have to get down to it. Maybe having had this happen now may have given him his shock and he will crack in with A levels from the start, especially if there is a risk that exams may be disrupted ( please please don’t let them be ) .

If it does go wrong, probably better on balance for it to be GCSE. He can then pull it out of the bag for A level. I am saying this gently but totally get it if I am being annoying and please feel free to swear at me under your breath 😀 I always need a good rant about things like this before I can move on and leave it behind and You haven’t even had all the results in yet so still have that stress

@Oblomov20 I completely get why you are annoyed and fed up. It was incredibly stressful waiting for the GCSEs and you are still living with that stress while the BTEC grades are still outstanding. In itself that is horrible and I think it is disgraceful that it hasn’t been sorted out sooner.

As regards the grades DS missed - I would definitely write to the school to record your dismay and get them to check that they were accurate for DS. Even if nothing comes of it, you need to feel you have done all you can in support of DS.

Thank you both.
You are right, he is a lazy, would have pulled it out of the bag in the actual exam type.

Yes it's better it happened now.

Yes. Thank you. I am going to email. Even if it achieves nothing. I'd feel better if I did at least email.

@Oblomov20 - You probably don't remember me but i remember your history from the SEN boards and your posts helped me immensely (another accused MBP momma). You have already dealt with so much successfully - this is small fry in comparison.

DS2 couldn't cope with m/s even with a f/t EHCP. Secondary wanted to stream him to bottom set because this was where they deployed TAs and they thought it was more important to focus on his weaknesses (independent learning).

Keeping your DC's best interests at heart and fighting smart is key. My DC now has a bespoke package. He went to internet school where they allow teaching out of year group and has just been awarded A* in maths. He starts year 10 for the rest of his GCSEs in September.

Never forget that you have been a fantastic advocate for your own DC and have inspired others and shared the tools that enabled them to advocate for their DC. Thank you.

It's not even the latch licking. We have families, some have hobbies, we need to shop.

I'm another one who has been around the SN boards for years (under other names) and have seen you around for a long time Oblomov. You will get through this, you are a determined and capable person .

I agree totally about the record keeping. I was advised to do this when DS was in year 3, by a friend who has held my hand all the way through years of applications, appeals, statements, EHCPs. Every conversation in that time has gone in my big black book, every email and document has been saved, backed up, printed out and filed. It is SO important. I am also someone who had an immense amount of help from the SN boards, I didn't post prolifically but learned so much from the wise posts of many others there.

Ermm...so.. that was on the wrong board!!

I didn’t notice Piggy

It wasn't as weird as it sounds in context....

I did wonder

@Oblomov20 it is annoying when they can't do what they wanted. Ds2 wanted to do economics but now has to do business studies. That isn't an A level but is the equivalent. There's nothing he wants to do in column 4 only a choice of chemistry, eng lit and lang. maths, film studies, photography or applied science. He will do film studies but that's something he wouldn't have chosen.

Does anyone else have the problem of buses for 6th form? It makes me so mad. We live in a village. The local primary schools all feed into the same secondary school. They all get on the bus that serves our village and takes them to the secondary. But when they get to 6th form there is a school with 6th form over the border that is half mile nearer. The council say they must get a bus to the nearest 6th form. So they are all expected to change school for 6th form. There are no buses to it. But in theory we could all insist on a bus that they may provide, but can't guarantee. But why if one already serves our village to a school in our county? I did appeal twice for ds1 and he finally got a bus seat at £300 a term. But in theory they want us to follow the bus with the siblings on in our cars. What happened to reducing the carbon footprint. Is it just our council that have such stupid rules?

I never managed to achieve a good working relationship with a school - it was always back to year 0 with each new teacher/academic year. Plus blame the child, blame the parents.

I have a good working relationship with the LA, tribunal, solicitors, SOS!SEN, JR undoubtedly helped but continuity of staff was more significant. They know I am honest and not taking the piss. Plus they are hugely overworked so they are happy to cut and paste what I write and evidence and present that to 'panel' as if it is all their own work. I would never have got to this place without the posters on the SEN board.