What's life like when your kids go to private school?

[redjumper]

My 3 children are only young at the moment, at a state primary school. I'm just thinking about the future, we are thinking about private schooling from year 7 in York.

Some of the things on my mind are how they'll manage with the long school day - 8.30 to 5.30 with a 45 minute commute too, plus school on Saturday. Will they be away from home too long?
But on the other hand, the long holidays as it looks like they are basically off school for 4 months in the year. What do they do with themselves all that time?

It's hard to picture what life will be like, especially as they are only young at the moment so very reliant on me still. I guess I'm worried that the separation will be hard for us both but then maybe I've not got a realistic view of life with teenagers anyway. Any thoughts would be really helpful, thank you.

Wow I'm surprised by that advice @mrsmuddlepies things must have changed since I was at state school, even the brightest in my year wasn't taught to Oxbridge level. But that was a couple of decades ago. That's really heartening to hear.

I may have answered this before but, without reading the entire thread, my life was no different to how it would have been had mine gone to a state school. My child did all the usual things, had friends, fun etc. I certainly wasn't inconvenienced by the private school.

I work in a large FE college with a large Yr 12 cohort - we send on average between 4 and 6 students to Oxbridge every year

@LittleHootie . I live on the edge of London and saw a news item a couple of days ago about the number of state school students getting scholarships to top American universities such as Harvard and Yale. I don't know if anyone on this thread saw it? London schools are very good at fostering links with premier universities.
I have a friend at York University and they are making a huge effort to encourage state school students (particularly local ones) to apply and adjust offers accordingly to reflect a more diverse and equal student body.

Please correct me if I am wrong but I think even students at high performing State Sixth Forms in posh areas such as Esher are likely to receive more favourable offers from Russell Group universities. I see friends children at some of the most famous Independent schools going onto exactly the same universities and courses as those students from local comprehensives.
Also, schools such as Eton, Harrow etc offer summer schools to local state school sixth formers with the direct aim of getting them into Oxbridge (Medicine, Law etc). It is part of the requirement if they want to maintain their charitable status.

mrsmuddlepies. I didn't think all state schools students are favoured over independent students? For example, a child at a top grammar that regularly sends children to Russell Group / Oxbridge universities wouldn't be (unless their own personal circumstances meant they were at a disadvantage)? I thought 'contextual' offers were based on the school attended not regularly sending children to top uni's, having a high % of FSMs etc.? As I understood it, 'leafy comps' and grammars are put in the same bucket as independents, but maybe I'm wrong?

grannycake. That's positive, but I bet still nowhere near the numbers as a top independent with the same number in the year group

My eldest had same offers from all her university’s as privately educated peers. Her comprehensive sent six to med school and five to Oxbridge in her year. God but given size, not a good ratio when pupil numbers are considered. Independent schools still have all sorts of hidden advantages.

My youngest’s cohort had very similar offers from her top public and those who remained at comprehensive.

I think it’s only challenged schools who get access offers for pupils despite it being much harder to get the grades from a comprehensive.

I don't think that is true, although I am sure that disadvantaged children are given more favourable grades. I think the Higher Education Regulator's job is to ensure that universities reflect the make up of society and encourage universities to use positive discrimination to ensure that student intake is broad and balanced. Particularly in the present climate where many universities are relying on a bail out from the Government to compensate for falling numbers of overseas students.
I do think that with Oxbridge and Medical Schools there has been a real attempt to redress the balance with regard to intake. I think they are probably more successful in that respect than red brick universities. The OfS has to hold universities to account and In today's climate this issue is going to be a key indicator of success.
www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/cambridge-university-admissions-statistics-2017-14662218

Thanks mrsmuddlepies. Interesting. Let's hope the 64% at Cambridge from state schools (albeit) 2 years ago grows to be even more to be even more reflective. It will change society for better in the long term with more diverse and reflective viewpoints in the world of government and business.

cherwell.org/2020/06/29/inaccessible-why-oxfords-latest-state-school-statistics-shouldnt-be-celebrated/

There is some attempt to redress the imbalance but state school oft means grammar.

cherrypavlova and mrsmuddlepies thank you for sharing those articles. Positive, but still more to do. I do know that some grammars are aiming to increase their numbers of children on FSMs, giving these pupils 'first dibs' in terms of the subsequent admission criteria following passing the test.

Twenty five per cent of Oxbridge applications from independent schools are for undersubscribed subjects such as Classics. Classics departments would love to have more applications from state school students but few comprehensive schools offer Latin ( or Greek ) as a subject.
I knew someone from a state school who studied Latin after school as a G and T activity. They attended an Oxbridge summer school and were offered an unconditional place with additional academic support.

They turned it down but it shows how keen Oxbridge is to widen access for all subjects. These undersubscribed subjects ( Classics) do continue to distort the statistics for state school entry.

Your best bet would be a good local primary school for infant age (up to age 9) so they can make local friends and have a shorter day.

If they are out of the house 7:45-6:15pm will they need to to do homework once home?

Ah year 7

As I suspected London state schools are way ahead of the rest of the country in pushing state school students to apply to top universities
www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-46900154
The North lags significantly behind, particularly the North East.
Certain universities have long had a reputation for being skewed entry wise towards independent schools (Durham, St Andrews and Bristol). I know that Bristol is really keen to have a more inclusive intake and now organises lots of outreach work towards local schools and is fostering feeder schools to encourage more balanced entry.
Exclusivity is not an attractive feature for a twenty first century university.

Sorry, on my hobby horse, the OP is specifically interested in York.
www.york.ac.uk/law/equality-and-diversity/widening-participation/
York University Law School is determined to redress the balance and ensure their student intake is more inclusive and has a much higher number of students from state schools.

I don't know any private day school that has school on Saturday, though boarding schools often do. But saturdays are match days and every one in Autumn term was taken up by rugby for my son. If you could stand you were expected to play some sport.
Day is 8.40-4.30. Homework on top. Very young years may do playdates but as they progress more homework and things like music lessons and no time to go out on a school day.
They do have longer holidays, mainly up to three weeks longer in the summer. For me, as I grew up on America, they still seem short! But no inset days.
Not all private schools are equal, just like state schools. Some may be more sporty, some more academically rigorous etc, many both. One myth is that everyone is rich. Many parents make a lot of sacrifices in order to afford private tuition, and it's not like the wealthier kids are in their own gang. There may be more competition among the parents in this regard but I actually have not come across this in the five private schools I have had children at. If your mate goes skiing every year at their chalet in Switzerland good on them, there are plenty who don't.
Covid has definitely made the difference between state and private where we live. Minimal learning vs full schedule of live online classes. My daughter is doing her GCSEs next year and I am confident the school did everything possible to ensure her education was affected as little as possible.
I believe private schools demand a certain academic and behavioral standard that state school can find hard to enforce. Of course there are excellent state schools and not great private. My children went to a non selective private school, yet the school results are still considerably better than the nearby state schools.

@CherryPavlova, I just looked at York University Law School to see if you were right about only disadvantaged students being given additional support to apply. The intake for the York University Law School shows that they monitor intake from state versus independent schools to ensure that state school students are fairly represented

We currently monitor our undergraduate students, and benchmark this against other Russell Group institutions. Significantly more of our students have been educated in state schools than the Russell Group average

I still think it is disingenuous to suggest to someone embarking on sending their children to independent schools that they will have greater opportunities to attend top universities. Higher Education participation has increased dramatically over the past twenty five years and there is a real determination that student intake reflects society with regard to state versus independent schools.
I am not qualified to comment on sporting facilities and extra curricular activities on offer in private schools so it may well be that a parent chooses a school based on these factors but with regard to academic success most universities are committed to broad and balanced student bodies and state educated students will not be disadvantaged when they make their applications.
York University certainly seems to reflect this inclusivity.

Mrsmuddlepies interesting to say that re classics. I know someone with a child at a top public school who chose Latin (I'm not sure whether combined with something else) for Oxbridge entrance exactly for that reason ie. because less state school pupils would apply so it would be easier to get a place. They were advised by the school. Once with that degree from that University, then easier to get into the city like the child's father. And so the cycle continues.

@Thesunalwaysshines . I agree about entry into the city although I think more companies are increasingly using blind recruitment methods to stop conscious or unconscious bias to screen out school and university details
www.ciphr.com/features/what-is-blind-recruitment/

I studied Classics at Oxford from a state school. It was hard, though, and I was always less academically confident than my private school peers, whose knowledge of Latin and Greek was much more secure than mine, having studied it for longer and more thoroughly. I didn't go into a City career (no interest).

My children are now at independent schools. One of the reasons for this is so that they can get a good education in Latin (and Greek if they want it), from a large and vibrant classics department. Not just cobble it together from lessons taught in a tiny class by a solo Latin teacher hanging onto their department by their fingernails (which is what I had), or just a lunchtime Latin club.

I also think Oxbridge struggles with student entry for classics as a subject because it undoubtedly skews statistics for state/ independent entry. Try as they might, Classics departments cannot attract state school students. If you take out the twenty five per cent of Oxbridge applications from independent schools for undersubscribed subjects such as classics , the percentage of state versus independent schools gaining places at Oxbridge are far more reflective of the the numbers in each sector at secondary school.

Just to reassure the OP, bright, well motivated students will gain places at Russell Group universities, regardless of state or independent sector schooling.
I also apologise for focusing on Russell Group universities. So many wonderful non traditional courses ( but really in demand from different industries) at many of the newer universities.