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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

All BOY school? Or mixed school? Opinions please?

55 replies

TiramisuTartsandPiesInOrbit · 21/09/2007 13:01

I have started thinking about secondary school for my son (he is 5, I am early).

Has any of you any experience with single sex schools? I am quite keen on an all boy school, but I wonder if I do this will I then
a) deprive my son of the company of girls or;
b) keep him focused on his school work.

My son likes girls, his best friend is a girl, though he also says he loves her, and will marry her, and asks about the birds and the bees.

The school I have in mind is an all boy catholic school. I am taken by the idea of this, and would appreciate any feedback on this.

OP posts:

RTKangaMummy · 23/09/2007 15:12

Kangaboy does FENCING, SWIMMING AND DRAMA

Drama is his passion both in school and out of school

Fencing and Swimming has equal numbers of girls in that he socializes with BUT Drama has more girls than boys so he has loads of choice

The thing I like is that they don't spend time trying to impress the girls like the boys did at my mixed comp.

But all children are different as are all families so what is good for one family isn't going to neccessarily right for another.

MarsLady · 23/09/2007 15:18

DS1 is in an all boy school. He loves it! No distractions etc. The boys are polite, funny and generally great to be around.

DD1 loves the fact that DS1 is at an all boy school. That's right... she's at whiplash age where her head is forever spinning to watch the passing boys.

pagwatch · 23/09/2007 15:25

DS1 started at all boys, moved to mix aged 7 until 11 and we had to move him because he LOATHED it. Endlessly birched at by girls who critcized what he wore or whther he was cool or not. LOVES his new school with just boys again. No pressure, the boys are just themselves with the preening and the posturing.
Have to add, mixed school was a nightmare for many others reasons so i am probably biased. But DS was very keen to move and is happier now.

pagwatch · 23/09/2007 15:26

ROLF. not endlessly birched - that would be a whole other subject !!! . Bitched - i meant bitched

RTKangaMummy · 23/09/2007 15:28

snorkle · 23/09/2007 15:37

RTKM you are lucky your ds's interests aren't gender stereotyped but please don't assume all kids at single sex schools are in the same boat (you may not have considered just how lucky he is with that set of hobbies). It's very easy for boys in particular to have interests that don't include many girls even if they have a wide range. Gawkygirls ds is a case in point. That's one reason to think carefully about single sex education - even if there are joint activities, they may not be ones that appeal to your child.

When I said sport had limited opportunities for mixing girls and boys I was thinking mainly of team sports which is what gawkygirls ds seems to enjoy. There are some hockey clubs where boys and girls mix but that's the only mainstream one I could think of and the interactions are often limited. I did consider swimming, but it's not easy to get into that at secondary age if you've not been at a club before (also, it's not the most sociable of sports apart from when changing which is segregated obviously!). Martial arts do have some girls but are often male dominated - fencing is one I hadn't thought of, but I do know quite a few girls who do that, so it's a good choice. Sailing might be another. Dance is always good for lots of girls, but mostly doesn't appeal to boys.

Heated · 23/09/2007 15:44

I've taught in both mixed, single sex (both for girls and boys) and tbh it depends entirely on the school and what best suits the child. A lot have mixed sixth forms so when the hormones really kick in, their plenty of the opposite sex around!

I currently teach in an all boys school and although I think at times boys can miss the civilising influence of girls, boys also benefit since the teaching & curriculum is very much geared to their interests and male geekiness is very much tolerated alongside the jocks. I would have no objections if my son went to this school, although balanced by attending a mixed primary.

RTKangaMummy · 23/09/2007 15:48

Snorkle

That is why I said ......

"But all children are different as are all families so what is good for one family isn't going to neccessarily right for another."

snorkle · 23/09/2007 15:50

Agree totally RTKM, just wasn't sure if you'd considered quite how lucky your ds was in that respect.

RTKangaMummy · 23/09/2007 15:52

Oke doke

TAI KWANDO is something that several of his friends that are girls do and I guess boys do it too, I have no idea what it is really though

snorkle · 23/09/2007 15:58

Also badminton & tennis. Also any horsey things are very girl dominated (but not easy to get into at secondary age I suspect).

gawkygirl · 23/09/2007 16:09

Thanks for your thoughts, folks. Another sport is not possible: rugby is his life and he does not have the time to fit in another sport.
It has occurred to me, since my original posting, that he enjoys English so I should investigate if there are any book clubs for his age group.

3littlefrogs · 24/09/2007 10:32

My boys went to a mixed high school. Ds 2 plays rugby for the local team and the school team. There is not much rugby at school, but there is loads going on a the local club all year round. It is good to belong to sports clubs outside school IMO - another group of friends etc. Best of both worlds for boys.

However - if I could, I would send dd to an all girls school, because she is extemely bright, studious, and ambitious, and hates being sat with the naughty boys because they are a pain. She adores her brothers - has nothing against boys in general.

gawkygirl · 24/09/2007 22:48

I asked at the library about the book club but it doesn't really fit the bill. It's only one hour, once a month which won't do a great deal for his social skills but, more importantly, it's also the same night as rugby training.

EmsMum · 24/09/2007 22:56

DH went to an all boys anglican cathedral school.

Result: he turned out strongly in favour of mixed schools and of the Dawkins persuasion.

gawkygirl · 26/09/2007 11:15

To the OP, does this help you decide whether to go single-sex or mixed?

From timesonline ?A friend told me that at her daughter?s mixed private school 15-year-old girls are giving fellatio to boys in the loos for a fiver. I heard from two different sources about girls at inner-city comprehensives performing the same act in classrooms.?

Hulababy · 26/09/2007 11:25

Single sex schools will not mean your son will be girl obsessed, that your child will become gay (yes, that was suggested to us when we sent DD to all girls ) that they will be deprived from interaction with girls. etc. I am assuing that almost all children do interact and meet other children of both sexes outside of school to start with. And IME both single sex schools work along side other schools, of opposite gender, at times too.

geekgirl · 26/09/2007 12:05

there was an article in the Indie a few months ago about men who had attended a single-sex school being far more likely to be divorced in their 30s than those who attended a co-ed school. I know there are lies, damn lies and statistics - but it does make sense.

TBH, I wouldn't send my ds to a single-sex school - I think it's abnormal and unhealthy. What I would like it a school which separates them for some subjects.

geekgirl · 26/09/2007 12:07

gawkygirl, IME the all-girls schools host annual socials with all-boys schools, were fellatio is given quite freely to complete strangers, and they're all over each other. It's pretty yuck to see.

Hulababy · 26/09/2007 12:07

Why does it make sense that men who went to single sex schools are more likely to be divorced? I don't follow that.

And why is is ok to separate for some subjects - which ones BTW? - but separating for all is somehow abnormal?

Hulababy · 26/09/2007 12:10

And having worked at state co-ed secondary schools the regularly daily going ons between some girls and some boys, from the age of 11 is appalling! Some of the things I have seen and heard from 11 and 12 year olds have made be to say the least.

So I really don't think the type of school a child goes to makes any difference re sexual promiscuity and sexual contact at all.

Just some children are more prone than others, regardless of school setting.

wildpatch · 26/09/2007 12:12

single sex schools for secondary.
to the op, you wont be depriving him of female company. that's not something possible!

pagwatch · 26/09/2007 12:13

Ah well then hubby who went to a boys school has just under a month to divorce me - after 18 years of marriage. I knew I shouldn't have planned a trip away.

I must check DD's calander to check which year fellatio is added to her lessons - clearly its an area she will be expected to excel at. Perhaps it will be after "depressingly jaded stereotypes along the catholic schoolgirl model- beginers "

HonoriaGlossop · 26/09/2007 13:12

Since my five year old ds started school last year, I have in my mind re-designed the school system thus:

From 5 to 12: Single sex education.
Boys not accepted in school before fifth birthday. No formal lessons before 7 yrs. Half of each day to be spent doing PE. A daily walk in addition to that. A nap after lunch till 7 years old.
I don't pretend to have sorted the system for girls, don't have one but you can fill in here with the sort of day a girl would like.

12 - 16 Compulsory mixed Education.

That alright by everyone

amicissima · 30/09/2007 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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