Winchester, St. Paul's, or Eton?

[PGWo]

I hope you all are staying safe.

My son is learning remotely from his prep school. He is about to finish year six, and our headmaster said he would be a good candidate to sit a scholarship examination for a public school.

Our son is very academic and dislikes sport. The headmaster recommends Winchester and St. Paul's, but has mentioned that Eton may be a good choice.

We want to give him an all-boy's, boarding school education. Any insight would help, especially about bullying and academic quality.

I am sorry to hear that you have suffered from the dreaded Covid, Peternas, but the OP didn't come on here for a kicking nor did Happygardening. And Happy has spent a lot of her time over the past ten+ years offering her insights to Mnetters on school choices, based on her own experience both as an alumna, a parent and a teacher, unless I am mistaken? Yes, Eton is a fabulous school, but not every child can or should attend it; there are alternatives. Also, your talk of 'putting people in their proper place' is extremely snobbish; particularly since you have always stressed that you were a 'first-time buyer', when you have written about Eton over the years? I won't dare check this board after I post, as I am sure you will be back to flame me imminently. But the best of luck to you with your DS' choice, OP. And I pray that all our DC won't be enjoying distance learning for too much longer!

". . .but the OP didn't come on here for a kicking nor did Happygardening. . .Also, your talk of 'putting people in their proper place' is extremely snobbish; particularly since you have always stressed that you were a 'first-time buyer'"

Well, Motorcyclemptiness, thank you for your empathy referencing my health.

It's quite easy (for me) - when people ask for it, they get it, which is what I mean by putting people in their proper places. You might not see it but when dubious posters come on here and threaten me with expulsion or invent stories and accredited them to me, then they get called out.

I am confused; your post gives the impression you're an old-timer and yet you don't see the tons of discrepancies in HG's writings. Start by mentioning e.g. boarding life or schools or teaching or admin etc and she pops up to tell all and sundry she's had 35 years experiences in all those things. Then mention something else like, (whatever), and she comes along and says she/her other half, has had 30 years experience doing just that. Talk about the NHS, foreign workers and humanitarian work and she'd tell you she had met with almost every nationality that's represented in the United Nations in her 35 years humanitarian working experiences.

Simple arithmetic; how old is HG? . . . 95?

"Yes, Eton is a fabulous school, but not every child can or should attend it; there are alternatives."

Well, HG wouldn't even send her dog there if you'd asked her. And oh, everyone was a 'first-time buyer' once upon a time. I was one some 20 years ago. Not blessed with MN in those days and the internet was a luxury so I had to find my own way in total solitude.

@peteneras BJ only won because he was up against Corbyn. If it was a choice between BJ and Keir for example I’d vote Keir despite usually voting conservative.

Political derailments aside this thread has been interesting. Our children are still young but we’ve decided not to send them to DHs school do this is something that’s been on our minds, especially recently. Is there anyone with children currently in Winchester?

No skin the game here at all but I haven't seen a proper bonkers mumsnet thread for a while so thanks for the entertainment peteneras

Nothing wrong with being slightly bonkers. It’s what makes life interesting.

The phrase first time buyer is traditionally used re parents opting for private education, not joining Mumsnet. It's nearly as snobbish as announcing that people need 'to be put back in their proper place,' so using it doesn't reflect well on me either. Although I have heard many teachers use it. Most of us on here are just trying to be vaguely helpful to posters wanting info re schools for their DC, as the days of automatically attending the same schools as previous generations of your family are gone. Anyway, the poor OP has scarpered I think. Who knows if and when the kids can go back and, btw, the HM of Hall Grove wrote an interesting letter to the Times yesterday positing a difference of opinion between the NUT and the private school sector.

I have to say you are the number one poster who would put me off Eton (although I'm sure most parents are slightly more measured in their attititude to the school). You sound incredibly overly invested in the school and it's alumni.

I agree with this. Peteneras crops up on these threads repeatedly, and often sounds almost unhinged in their adulation of what is, at the end of the day, just a school. A good school, yes, but it's just a school. If this is what Eton parents are typically like, I'd run a mile.

@ReceptacleForTheRespectable amen

"The phrase first time buyer is traditionally used re parents opting for private education, not joining Mumsnet."

That's precisely what I meant. I was "buying" into the private sector some 20 years ago arguably even before MumsNet was conceived. Only joined MN in the last 10 ~ 12 years.

I don't "crop up" on these threads repeatedly as you put it @Receptacle - just trying to answer and help someone, anyone, asking a specific question on a subject I know best. Quite unlike some who profess to be an expert in everything under the sun. You therefore, don't see me "cropping up" pretty much anywhere else on the entire MN spectrum.

No apologies therefore, for writing extensively on the subject of Eton. Some may call it "massively invested" and "unhinged" etc. Just so you know, the "investment" comes from the opposite end instead via a couple of full scholarships. We just needed one!

No question, I'm a huge fan and supporter of the great School but nowhere near a fanatic supporter/fan of (say) Man Utd or Arsenal or Liverpool etc; literally investing thousands of £s annually by following their team(s) up and down the country and abroad, in a utterly useless pursuit just to hoping to see their team(s) may be putting a bag of air in the opponents' net more times than the opponents.

There are also some deluded and disillusioned pp here who would be put off by my postings and run a mile. How sad! Little do they realise the odds are massively stacked against them and with only

@peteneras

I think Eton is an incredible school and would be over the moon if my son attended.

However you do come across as a little bit unhinged, there’s no escaping that.

As for your comment that bullying hardly exists... how on earth do you know?!

Would I be correct in thinking your experience is based on your son going there but having left a good few years ago?

Bringringbring12, I do concede some of my writings emerge as a bit bonkers. But believe me they were deliberately intended that way to bring a bit of relief into these boards which sometimes seem to be a bit overheated. As someone upthread said, we are only talking about schools, for heaven's sake. I must confess it did make me smile a bit my "unhinged" comments did bring about some laughter as some pp have revealed. Please don't take me seriously.

Yes, my DS left School almost ten years ago. But I do get in touch with the school and some senior masters and even some current parents yearly without fail about certain Etonian business - the last time only two months ago. Not to mention the family also receives the School's annual 'Eton - OEA Review' magazine detailing about all the latest important aspects of the school. In addition, I also get regular emails from various sources throughout the year updating me the latest news and developments.

Sad to learn the former Head Master and Provost of Eton has passed away just 9 days ago. RIP Sir Eric Anderson.

Hope your son is successful when the time comes. It really is an amazing school!

I don't follow football, but I think your comparison with football is very apt. Your posts show the same level of unhealthy tribalism as an obsessed football fan.

You have no idea whether there is a bullying problem. You have knowledge of a specific boy's experience in a specific house, several years ago. It isn't reasonable to declare on a thread that bullying hardly exists at Eton when you simply don't know.

It's a school. Just a school.

I was at pains somewhere upthread to describe unsuccessfully it now seems about this thing called, "ethos" of a school, particularly a traditional old medieval school like Eton with its near 600-year experience of dealing with teenage boys living together 24/7.

Bullying isn't something that this old school had never heard of or knew anything about. Just like the school's foundation, this actively has been consigned to history long ago. It is absolutely not tolerated!!!

The ethos here is one of respect towards everyone. Pupils to pupils; boys to boys; boys to masters and vice versa. It is common for Masters to address boys, even very young ones, as "Sir" (individually) and "Gentlemen" when in a group. That's the kind of respect the school expects from the whole community.

But we are talking about full-blooded teenagers, largely alpha males, here. The school will be in denial if it thinks all the boys are angels sent from heaven. Obviously there inevitably will be some boisterous individuals "having a go" at another regardless (sometimes even in front of masters) but all done in a jovial manner with no ill intent. The boys know it and all will be forgotten in a few short minutes.

Isn't competition the byeword of the school that goes on to produce so many future leaders?

* Yes, my DS left School almost ten years ago. But I do get in touch with the school and some senior masters and even some current parents yearly without fail about certain Etonian business - the last time only two months ago. Not to mention the family also receives the School's annual 'Eton - OEA Review' magazine detailing about all the latest important aspects of the school. In addition, I also get regular emails from various sources throughout the year updating me the latest news and developments.*

And the basis of ^^ you speak in very dogmatic terms. As for this being your ongoing experience and yet concluding that bullying hardly exists... well, that’s just reckless and irresponsible as could encourage vulnerable parents feeling very emotional and desperate about their bullied child to put him in Eton. You need to be careful what you say about schools. We are talking about children here.

* nt. The boys know it and all will be forgotten in a few short minutes.*

FGS. They are not all identikits. Surely surely surely you can see that this is a completely daft comment

On the basis of your comments, I would be interested to learn how Eton view you (that utterly odd mother that still displays baffling and irritating behaviour from 10 years ago I suspect!)

From your nervousness and desire to protect your 13-year-old still treating him like a baby, it's best to keep him under your skirt. Fact of the matter is no school on this earth, private or state, will be suitable for a 13-year-old baby and still growing. Certainly not at Eton and so my advice is to forget it.

A mother once said, "I gave Eton a boy and they returned me a man".

Looks like you're better off home-educating him.

My son is 9.

I have hit a nerve clearly! As I say, would be interesting (and no doubt funny) to learn Eton’s view of you!

I think my view of Eton being the best school in any universe is reasonably well balanced - but in @peteneras' defence, I would say that he/she (always assumed Pete was a man!) was immensely helpful to me via MN and private messaging when my DS was applying for a scholarship some years ago.

It's hard to describe the school to an outsider, but it's definitely 'not just a school'.

Eton don't take in 9-year-olds. Don't know what you're doing in here. But he has to grow up quick and register in less than 18 months time and hopefully behave more like a teenager when he's a teenager.

@EtonianMother

Have you heard about the batty mother from ten years ago that is a source of much chuckling amongst the staff and parents?!

I have also been helped by @peteneras - under a previous incarnation tho , I've NC'd a couple of times over the years. I found her very helpful and kind with her time.