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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Year 7 - mobile phones!

40 replies

Acorncat1 · 30/01/2020 12:39

Hi all
Just wondering how people deal with this. We've only recently gotten a console in our house (my son is 10) and I'm a little reluctant to be giving my son the use of a mobile when he starts secondary.
I really don't want him to have access to the internet and all that it contains, especially when he's not in my charge (walking home from school)
Does everyone give their kids a phone in year 7? Are they internet ready? What if they don't walk to school and need a lift, do they still get one? If he didn't have one would he be the weird kid? Do some kids just have an old school brick phone?!
Thanks!

OP posts:

z2020 · 30/01/2020 12:59

my y7 dd has a mobile phone, we loaded it with the Our Pact app, so I can monitor her phone usage and restrict certain bits if needed. could you do that?

Malmontar · 30/01/2020 13:21

DD is in y7, she got a phone at the end of Y6 and was one of the last ones out of her friends. They spend a lot on it in the first couple of weeks but they soon get bored imo. That's been the case with us anyway. She spends longer on the iPad watching YouTube videos or Netflix so we struggle with that more than the phone.

RedskyAtnight · 30/01/2020 13:29

Although DC's school does not mandate that students have a mobile phone, it is much harder for DC without one to access the school curriculum. Teachers send emails during the day, their homework and reference material is online, they use the phone to take photos and to use various apps.

Also, all my DC's social activities are now organised on WhatsApp etc. They would most definitely be missing out socially without their own phones.

Original poster

Acorncat1 · 30/01/2020 14:06

Thanks. We will be moving from ireland in summer, there he wouldn't be starting secondary for another two years so this is a bit of a head melter! I really didn't want him having phone till 13!

OP posts:

larasmynone · 30/01/2020 14:32

In my DS's year 8 they tend to use gaming to communicate rather than phone. Far more of an issue in our house.

Choufleur · 30/01/2020 14:38

Ds’s homework is via an app mostly on his phone. You can put restrictions on the internet and apps that can be downloaded/videos watched.

Djchickpea · 30/01/2020 14:43

Fine with restrictions

z2020 · 30/01/2020 14:44

OP, you are fooling yourself if you think by not giving your son access to a mobile phone until he is 13 will prevent him from accessing stuff online - he will simply use a friends phone or a friend will show him stuff anyway.

educate your son and don't hamper his changes to socialise, he will possibly stand out and be teased for not having one.

Original poster

Acorncat1 · 30/01/2020 16:12

Argh! Really worried about this. All we hear about protecting our kids online and yet being encouraged by schools to hand them phones! I'm not a total technophobe, he has a console but phones are diff kettle of fish!

OP posts:

Toofaroutallmylife · 30/01/2020 16:20

If you’re that concerned why not give him a “brick” phone? Our school doesn’t let the children travel to school with internet- enabled phones anyway.

But he will almost certainly be the “odd one out” if all his friends have one, and they probably will.

SingingGoldfinch · 30/01/2020 17:22

As other posters have said so much is done via phones from homework to social life so kids would be excluded without one. Unfortunately phones are a reality and kids have to learn to use them responsibly so I'm not sure restricting access is the answer - our dc have both have them (14 and 11) but we try to get them to use them sensibly and with clear boundaries.

coelietterra · 30/01/2020 17:50

I'm not a big fan of kids having phones too young, but I agree with others that Y7 is pretty essential. At DS's school they not only use them throughout the day for accessing teacher emails and school info, they use them in lessons sometimes as well. His day to day life really would be quite tricky without a phone. Plus he wouldn't be able to join in things like the class WA group (a lot of the chat is pretty inane, but it's still a way of keeping in touch and can be quite useful). Plus it's very practical for me - I have to collect him from school, so being able to message him about pick up times and locations, and see where he is on the school site, is really helpful. He does spend a bit too much time playing games on it, but generally it hasn't been too bad. I have a very strict no phone in the bedroom rule, and I reserve the right to check it randomly.

I'm more concerned by the fact that my other son is now the only boy in his Y5 class without a phone, and has been for some time (this is a fact, not just him telling me!). And several have got their own YouTube channels and TikTok accounts.

Growingboys · 30/01/2020 18:52

Give him a phone for Year 7. He'll be 'different' enough, moving countries, and you want him to fit in.

We gave our son a phone for Christmas in Year 7. I trust him with it but we really ration his time with it. We take it away at night and he only has it for short periods at weekends.

He uses it to do homework, text his friends and ask what the homework is, etc. Our son is quite shy and I was very keen that he wasn't the odd one out, so I got him a decent phone and it's worked brilliantly.

Part of growing up is learning how to cope with technology in a mature way.

doritosdip · 30/01/2020 19:13

At our school the teacher often puts the homework up on the board and says take a pic as that's your homework.

The kids are expected to have school related apps on their phone.

My Ds listens to music to and from school on the bits where he's on his own. I see other kids doing the same.

SJaneS48 · 30/01/2020 19:13

Do you know yet where your DS is likely to go to Secondary and where you will be living? Appreciate your concerns but it is (around here) very much an essential for travel - DD is in Year 7 and goes in by bus and on after school clubs day by train. They get delays and on the occasion the bus gets stuck in a narrow road in a hamlet if people have parked idiotically. We have a Life360 (free) app on her phone so can track where she is. V useful as well when she is out with friends at the weekend.

As other PPs have mentioned, homework set in apps are common over here. They’ll also share pictures and photo’s of classwork.

DD got her first phone in Year 6 to get used to it. Obviously you need to put internet protection on it and website restrictions. Phone providers can help with that.

While it’s been great in many ways, the WhatsApp groups aren’t always and drama gets brought home, kids can be arseholes! They all have had internet and social networking classes at school but I’ve also got her a book on managing your digital interactions. They all seem to manage their social lives and get together by their phones though so DS could miss out if he doesn’t have one. We did insist that she give us her password and her messages get surreptiously checked by me weekly just to make sure all is ok!

Original poster

Acorncat1 · 31/01/2020 09:49

Thanks guys. I've looked up the school we're hoping he'll be going to and on their policy and procedures they're v strict on not allowing phone use during school hours. I can't see how this would allow them to take pics of their homework etc while in school....

OP posts:

Traintrackmad · 31/01/2020 10:00

We have middle schools here and the vast majority of dc have phones for year 5. Those that don’t have them, generally get them for the Christmas/birthday in year 5. A lot of them tend to walk to and from school without parents or catch the bus.

There have been times when we have been asked to download a certain app for the dc to use in class. However generally phones are handed in at morning registration and they have to collect them at the end of the day.

Dc1 is at high school (year 9/age 13) and they are allowed to keep their phones on them all day and school do email them work/messages etc.

I was a bit shocked to hear on question time last night that over half of 7 year olds now have a mobile phone. I did wonder in what way they have their own phone, eg, dc aged 9 has a very old phone of mine with no sim, so it doesn’t call anyone but she can play games on it. Or if they have their own contracts?
I think waiting till your dc is 13 to get a phone is very late. I would expect he would be the only one without at that point. My dc are planning their whole social lives on their phone, they seem to make loose plans while they are at school, but wait till they get home to confirm them.

SJaneS48 · 31/01/2020 10:07

Perhaps it’s worth finding out from the school OP how the homework is set? Ours is through the Edulink app. Sure you can access it via a laptop but most kids have it on their phones. As above, if DC are travelling themselves to school or hanging out in moving groups at weekends, having the tracking app on their phones does help a lot!

DDs school do allow phones purely as an aid to learning and enforce that. I think that’s fine!

As above, it’s swings and roundabouts on the pro’s and cons but overall for us it’s a pro.

Original poster

Acorncat1 · 31/01/2020 10:19

Thanks Sjane, are you worried about online bullying and her using the phone all the time??

OP posts:

SJaneS48 · 31/01/2020 10:33

We have a nothing electronic past 7pm rule and no phone/tablet/laptop in bedrooms as well. In the WhatsApp groups and one on one messaging, there has been the odd flare up with DD rushing upstairs in tears. It is pretty reflective though of girls this age - lots of hormones, falling in and out with each other and drama. Obviously everything looks worse in text and things are very easily misinterpreted as we grown ups know! It has been a learning experience for all of us and now she just accepts or adds people she knows and likes and blocks anyone being a dick. Less overall drama! We did insist that a condition of her having the phone is us having the password and as above, I check it all once a week after she’s gone to bed! She has limits on what social media apps she’s allowed on (or not) as well and I check her internet history. With the blocks she’s got on it, she can’t search up anything that inappropriate either!

Original poster

Acorncat1 · 31/01/2020 10:36

ok, that's good to know. And a sensible approach. What social media sites is she allowed on? I worry about their growing brains and the addiction side of a mobile phone!

OP posts:

Enpot2007 · 31/01/2020 11:01

I would say allow a phone too. I was thinking my son could wait until secondary but no I caved in at Y6. At my son’s secondary school phones are not to be used as soon as you enter school until you leave the school gates or they will take the phone off you. But it’s good to have in case of delays, train cancellations and you can send them messages they can pick up at the end of the day too. He’s on different WhatsApp groups that the boys have formed that cover different interests. So general group where they all talk about anything, his form talk about homework, a rugby group and then Fortnite and he has a group with his primary school friends. I still check his phone and have his password. The phone doesn’t have to be expensive, his phone is his Dad’s old one, but I think it’s better to have some sort of smartphone, but others prefer to give their children a brick one! He doesn’t do a lot of apps , mostly games and TikTok. He’s been taught to be responsible with the phone. So as another poster said strict times of use in evening and more relaxed at weekends. Tbh it would seem strange I think now for him not to have one.

SJaneS48 · 31/01/2020 11:38

Tiktok and YouTube (with the parental restrictions on!). She had Snapchat but deleted it.

RedskyAtnight · 31/01/2020 12:06

Nothing electronic past 7pm would be too restrictive for students at my DC's school (unless they religiously did all school related things before that time, which generally isn't possible if they have afternoon clubs). Literally everything is online - they have no books.

on their policy and procedures they're v strict on not allowing phone use during school hours

I would check the actual implementation of this policy with someone who already has a child at the school.

Enpot2007 · 31/01/2020 12:30

Different schools have different policies re phones. Some keep them in boxes until the end of day, others don’t as previous posters have explained. My son’s school has a similar policy and there are consequences if you don’t keep to those rules. Homework is set online so need to take photos in class.

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