Year 7 - mobile phones!

[Acorncat1]

Hi all
Just wondering how people deal with this. We've only recently gotten a console in our house (my son is 10) and I'm a little reluctant to be giving my son the use of a mobile when he starts secondary.
I really don't want him to have access to the internet and all that it contains, especially when he's not in my charge (walking home from school)
Does everyone give their kids a phone in year 7? Are they internet ready? What if they don't walk to school and need a lift, do they still get one? If he didn't have one would he be the weird kid? Do some kids just have an old school brick phone?!
Thanks!

DDs school is v strict and she only ever texts me from the toilet. Her friends in other schools make TikToks in the playground which she's v jealous of. She has tiktok but only under the agreement that I am also logged in on my phone and monitor it. We also go through her phone together. She didn't like this at first but now comes to me and shows me when things are a bit weird in the group chats. I think the key was not getting her into trouble when she herself got into a stupid situation online. I calmly spoke with her and she now feels confident that I won't kill her if she messes up. At least I hope so lol

I got DS a mobile for Y7 mostly because he was missing out on arrangements to meet up with friends locally. They seem unable to plan ahead at school when they see each other! Phones are banned at his school but it has been useful for the journey to and from school especially when he's missed the bus and been stranded! He doesn't have WhatsApp or use of the internet. What he does have and is loving is a programme to make stop motion animation. I am (compared to mum friends) very anti-screen time, but so far his phone has worked out fine.

We have our eldest a mobile that was parent ally controlled in year 6. You can get your phone company to set filters on content so they are age appropriate. Also we did it in year 6 so that the novelty wore off. We didn’t allow what’s Ap until year 7 and never allow phones upstairs at all. They are in the kitchen, they go away at 6.30 with all other screen devices. That way he has to find something else to amuse himself with- normally a film or book or tv. My sons phone what’s Ap groups have like 100 messages on most days that appear over night at all hours. He reads about 2 then he can’t be arsed because it’s just page after page of gif and nonsense. He rarely uses the phone for texting or anything other that you tube funny vids. He isn’t really interested in his phone, we thought he would be obsessed. I read the messages now and then and I have a rule that no tex ta or what’s Ap can be deleted except by me. X

We did allow WA in Y6 when he got his phone, and actually it was quite good to get used to it before secondary. He got his fingers slightly burnt by joining in with the endless GIF spamming, and got told to stop being annoying by one of his friends. That got it out of his system, and now he just can't be arsed with the endless crap on WA. I regularly look at his phone to find over 1000 unread messages on the big group chats. He very occasionally messages on the smaller chats, usually practical stuff about homework. He's much more interested in using his phone to play games, or listen to music, or check the football scores.

Dd is yr 5 and some of her classmates have phones but I am hoping to hold out until at least yr7. A couple of them have tiktok which is meant to be horrendous and you need to be 13 to have an account. I think a lot of parents use them to keep their kids quiet and don't worry about the risks...

DD is now on roblox and one of her classmates is messaging her at midnight from her bedroom... I'm guessing her parents think she is asleep...

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.commonsense.org/blog/b6355546-ace0-453b-a04a-8a9c1c5eaa15

Up to any parent obviously re what they let their children use (and to be honest, for us the occasional flare ups on WhatsApp have been the most worry). They need a talk through on what’s ok, potential dangers and switching on privacy settings.

My children got their mobiles YR7 also the last of their friends. What would I do advise/do differently?
*Know the passwords
*Set up privacy and block certain sites
*No mobile during meals
*No mobile til after homework
*No mobile after bedtime and they not be in the bedroom and be prepared to put up with tantrums and cancel the contract or remove altogether.

I didnt give my dd a mobile until end of year 8. She didnt get missed out/ bullied and she walks to and from school everyday. The school will have your number if there are any problems

SJaneS48 thanks for the link. It recommends 16+ for tiktok. www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/parents-ultimate-guide-to-tiktok

It does say it can be used safely with parental supervision and DDs account is private. It really is up to the parent and what they feel comfortable with I think. It’s nothing something though I’d agree that should be allowed unchecked without understanding what the settings are and having a chat about potential dangers with your DC and doing some private monitoring to ensure this is being followed. The same goes for all social media, it’s really important to keep an eye on it. I know my eldest DD (now 25) felt I was hugely invading her privacy by having her log ins - however that was our condition for her having social media access. Each household will work to what they feel is best though!

Thank you all so much for your advice. Really helps to see all the different answers!

At dd1’s school, Y7s have everything from a brick phone to the latest iphone with full internet access. She has a very locked down iphone (with the homework app and bus planner able to access the internet, a web browser restricted to the school’s internal website and no social media) which allows her to take photos of the board, text/iMessage her friends, phone home, check the buses etc.

We don’t allow WhatsApp (age limit is now 16) which has been a slight issue in practical terms, as she’s had to find different ways of keeping in touch with various clubs (they’ve kindly set up iMessage groups to include her). But it paid off, as there was a lot of WhatsApp Y7 drama at the start of term which she wasn’t involved in.

Her phone also has restrictions on when it will work (and it has to be downstairs before bedtime) and how many hours of games she can play on it. So far, this has worked well, and she’s able to use it as a tool and for fun, but without it becoming a problem.

Brilliant, glad to see i'm not the only 'weird' parent out there!!

With mobiles it is easier to start with restrictions and ease off as trust is gained, than to start free and easy and impose restrictions later.
So my advice is set up the rules before the phone is bought/handed over.