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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

GCSEs and half term

39 replies

pepsipeckle · 21/01/2020 19:17

Work has offered to send me to a conference abroad for 4 days, which is amazing and not ever likely to ever happen again , trouble is it falls over half term when DC is mid GCSEs. DC's dad has said he will have DC for the week but DC isn't very focussed, needs cajoling so I'm thinking decline? (but really don't want to).

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/01/2020 19:18

Could you work out a plan to get him to do extra revision now to try and compensate? Disclaimer - I'm not a teacher Smile

RedskyAtnight · 21/01/2020 19:42

Can you come up with a plan (or get him to come up with a plan) of what he is going to do over half term and check in a couple of times during the day (I'm assuming you think his dad won't nag him!). And make sure you do things like print out practice questions in advance so he has no excuses. If worst comes to worst, 4 days is still only half the half term, so he will just have to work doubly hard when you get back if he does nothing while you away!

Ultimately (as I keep telling myself) these are his exams, and it's up to him to motivate himself to study.

ioioitsoff · 21/01/2020 19:54

There is no way I'd go, there will be other conferences but your DS will only do his GCSEs once. You should be there to support him as the parent that he lives with and he should be in his own home.

Pipandmum · 21/01/2020 20:01

To be honest by then he should have pretty much done with revising. But if you have his exam schedule you'll see what's after the half term - my son had most of his tough ones before half term.
Your son is the one taking the exam if he can't figure it out for four days (and if your husband can't step up) that's pretty pathetic.

TeenPlusTwenties · 21/01/2020 20:01

My instinct would be to not go, but it sounds like a great opportunity.

I'd consider going but not let DC go to Dad for whole week, only the 4 days you are gone. Then those 4 days can be a break and the other 5 can be revision (and any revision done at Dad's will be a bonus).

Does depend a bit on which subjects are after half term though.

bigchris · 21/01/2020 20:03

I wouldn't go

TeenPlusTwenties · 21/01/2020 20:08

And there's no way imo he should be 'done with revising'.

With the new GCSEs there is more content and more exams than the old style. I'd have thought that the 9 days break in exams will be pretty invaluable for learning / refreshing for the second wave of exams.

ChloeDecker · 21/01/2020 20:14

To be honest by then he should have pretty much done with revising.
I’d sincerely hope not! Grin

It’s not only revising though, but also eating healthily, getting plenty of sleep plus exercise and some down time. If your DS needs support to get this, I’d either get a plan in place or not go.

noblegiraffe · 21/01/2020 20:17

Why do you think his dad won’t be cajoling or at least setting the right conditions for revision?

LIZS · 21/01/2020 20:18

Feb or May?

YeOldeTrout · 21/01/2020 20:31

if he isn't ready by then I'm not sure he ever will be.

Unless in the British system results are supposed to be dependent on the final 3 hours of cramming but friends assure me that's not true, oh no...

Dearover · 21/01/2020 21:32

Please don't neglect your career as it sounds like a great opportunity for you. There is a real risk that they may not bother asking you again and you are probably at the stage on your life when you have another 15-20 years to enjoy your career.

Which half term is this, February or May? Contact your DS's school and ask them if they will be structured revision classes and sign your DS up for them. If it's February your DS may still be completing homework for each subject. If it's May, panic will have set in and you may find his self motivation kicks in.

Seeline · 21/01/2020 21:42

I absolutely wouldn't go.

When DS did his that half term was really important. Work needed to be kept ticking over, but as others have said it was an important time for preparing for the second half of the exams - decent food, plenty of sleep and some relaxation. It is not a time to be leaving the kids to themselves.

Dearover · 21/01/2020 22:13

He isn't being left to himself though, he would be staying with his father. Presumably he has 2 parents who both care about his future. It's not exclusively the mum's job to cajole.

JeffreysWorkTrousers · 21/01/2020 22:14

To be honest by then he should have pretty much done with revising

Are you fucking kidding me?

Ds1 sat the following exams after May half term last year

History - papers, 1, 2 and 3
Maths - papers 5 and 6 (higher tier)
English Languarge - papers 1 and 2
German - papers for written, listening and writing
Science - biology, chemistry and physics all paper 2
Statistics - papers 1 and 2

So 15 exam papers and you think he should have been finished revising? Did you have a child sit exams last summer?

When you see it laid out I am not sure I could go unless I knew someone back home was cracking the whip. Get him to make a timetable to revise, see if he can be proactive about it now.

FanSpamTastic · 21/01/2020 22:23

I took DD and her older sister away with me when I had to travel for work last year. She did her GCSEs last summer so it was in the middle of her exams. We were away 3 days. She took revision with her and chilled by the pool while I went to work.

OnceUponACat · 21/01/2020 22:24

Cracking the whip? Really?

The OP is not going for the whole of June, just 4 days. She can re-crack the whip as soon as she gets back. In the meantime maybe the dad can do it or, hear hear, the child can also self-regulate. After all it is his responsibility.

Surely by then one would have established a routine and would know what to do. Otherwise as others have said... it is bleak anyway.

I don’t remember anybody cracking the whip at me when I was 16.

TeenPlusTwenties · 22/01/2020 07:20

I think for many teens it is not so much 'cracking the whip' as giving them encouragement to keep going.
having done a load of exams it can be tempting to take a number of days off and then struggle to pick up again for the last stretch.

I think it matters whether Dad will be on board with properly supporting (I inferred that the parents are split but it's not totally clear) and also whether it will mean 4 days away or 4 days plus travel plus travel for the DS as well, which impacts how many days are potentially 'lost'.

lilgreen · 22/01/2020 07:23

Revision done between now and then is what matters. He’ll have his dad, not left alone! Go and be in touch daily.

Ginfordinner · 22/01/2020 07:31

In a perfect world the dad would step up Dearover, but it isn't a perfect world. DH is too hands off when it comes to encouraging DD to work/revise, and there is no way I would have left a not very self motivated 15 year old mid GCSEs for 4 days.

It depends very much on the child. Is they are self motivated it would be easy.

KickBishopBrennanUpTheArse · 22/01/2020 07:33

Does it fall over the bank holiday weekend or the weekdays? And if weekdays will he be able to get to revision classes at school from his dad's?

My dd had 3 days off over the first weekend of May half term because she really needed it. A few days of down time won't hurt but only you know how likely he is to work without you there and how likely his dad is to get involved. My ex means well but wouldn't have had a clue what to do to help.

You can still do a lot to support him remotely though if he's willing to let you.

AChickenCalledDaal · 22/01/2020 07:41

Revision in that half term will be important, because there will be loads of exams in the following three weeks. It's absolutely not possible to finish preparation before half term with the way the exam timetable works now. And if you haven't yet looked up the timetable, I would do so to understand the scale of it.

Having said that, it's only four days. I'd be inclined to try and have a sensible conversation with DS about how to plan the half term. Maybe revision will mostly happen on the days you are home and he'll get a bit of a break while he's at his Dad's. If you feel you can do a deal with him, you can then go to the conference with a clear conscience and check in with him by phone while you're away.

BeyondMyWits · 22/01/2020 07:48

Rest and relaxation are as important as revision.

As is learning self-motivation.

It is only 4 days.

Ginfordinner · 22/01/2020 09:58

But those 4 days are crucial. DD would have panicked at losing 4 days of revision at such an important time.

Dearover · 22/01/2020 12:35

Why does everyone on MN assume the father doesn't give a toss about their child's future and the mother should compromise their career to swoop in like a knight in shining armour just in case they are needed to drag their child out of bed and make them hot chocolate as a motivator? Thank goodness I don't live in that world.

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