GCSEs and half term

[pepsipeckle]

Work has offered to send me to a conference abroad for 4 days, which is amazing and not ever likely to ever happen again , trouble is it falls over half term when DC is mid GCSEs. DC's dad has said he will have DC for the week but DC isn't very focussed, needs cajoling so I'm thinking decline? (but really don't want to).

Dearover Perhaps because if the OP had full confidence in the Dad (her ex I think), she wouldn't be worrying about it and posting here?

The division of labour in our house is that I do most of the education stuff. DH is capable and willing, but because he does less, he is less 'skilled' than I am on knowing how to get the most out of DD and also what information matters most etc.

If the child stays with the other parent they can revise. Why is it the mother’s responsibility?

Why is it the mother’s responsibility?

Because, in my experience, and many other mothers' experience, dads are either too busy too hands off.
Maybe mothers care more
Maybe they have a better understanding of the implications of not revising
Maybe they are simply better at supporting their DC through public exams.

In a perfect world dads would be as supportive as mums through the exam period. In reality they aren't.

I encouraged and supported DD through GCSEs and A levels. She asked me to test her for revision as I had more time than DH. What is wrong with that?

Presume you mean May half term - not Feb? If it is May I would not go, if it was Feb I def would.

Are you saying you don’t trust his dad either? Surely if he has offered to have DC so you can attend the conference he’s reliable?

Absolutely nothing wrong with that Gin. I have had minimal involvement in my DD's school life since she left juniors & we had to stop filling in those stupid reading diaries. Her dad & I would take it in turns going to parent evenings or go together depending on work commitments and now she is at a 6th form which doesn't hold them anymore. I just think it is extremely sad that people infantalise their DC's fathers, whether they live together or apart, as I have never been part of a family like that, either now or when I was growing up.

Still not the mother’s sole responsibility.

Never helped my DCs revise. I encourage them and supported them but I didn’t need to be home at all times. OP is going to be away 4 days, not months.

lilgreen I think you need to realise that not all 15 and 16 year olds are the same, and some need more support than yours others.

I absolutely do realise that.You need to realise that’s it is not the mother’s job to wrap the child in cotton wool when the father is available!!

Performance in exams after half term drops compared to those before exams so, although it's a great opportunity for you, I think it's not good for your child. My two DCs were knackered during exams and there was little opportunity for revision on the same day as big exams. Half term gives them a breather and is a really important time to allow them to prepare for the final push of the last two weeks so they go in feeling prepared and refreshed after a break.

...so let his father do his job. OP I've said it before, you have your career to consider. Your DS has 2 parents. You are both equally capable of parenting. You have said yourselfbthat this is a one-off opportunity, so grab it with both hands. You may not get another chance.

Why have most people assumed the teenager is a DS when the OP states DC all the way through?

I have planned to take May half term as annual leave as I don’t feel my son will do any work if I don’t. During his mocks he went into panic mode and crammed every night but he’s not prepared to put the work in at other times. If you can be confident that your DC’s dad will be able to motivate your child then I don’t see why you shouldn’t go if it benefits your career

@lilgreen I am with you. It couldn’t have been said better.