11+ panic - HELP! Ds wasn’t called for any interviews :(

[mummy2aPrince09]

Hi All, me again!

It has been a horrendous week! We’ve had too many “no’s” from most of the schools ds sat for!

We sat an extensive list of schools due to bursary application.

Ds sat Highgate (no interview)
Hampton (no interview)
Habs (no interview)
Merchant Taylors (still waiting but lost hope)
At Albans (no 2nd interview call back)
Latymer upper (still waiting)
Epsom
Reeds

Ds has had 4 rejections already. He was sure he got in for St Albans but just received a no from them too! They said apparently in the past years his score would’ve been fine but this year there a higher number of more academic applicants! When we got a no from Hamptons, Highgate and habs we were upset but knew deep down it was a push... but St Albans has come as a shock!
So basically After no from St Albans I’m quite sure merchants and Latymer is impossible... so what now?

We didn’t want to go to Epsom or reeds to be honest as it’s in the south and my sister lives in Hertfordshire and being a single disable mother I need her support.

But now I don’t know what will be... where will ds go? What should I do? All the exams have been taken! Please help. My tenancy is ending here in Acton and I don’t want ds to go to independent as he’s been in prep and being a young Carer things are already a bit stressful on him.

Please can someone advise me.. what can I do? Can I appeal? What’s the next process is nowhere is offered?

[ticking]

@FagAsh I'd say this certainly isn't normal, most kids sit 3 or at most 4 exams.

[lifeisnotagame]

I know parents (also in preps) who have put their children through 10+ exams. What are these prep school heads doing to these children? Is it because they want their figures to look good?

[LizziesTwin]

Do you want to move? Twyford & West a London Free School are both good & able children do well at Chiswick School (I know students who left 3 years ago)

[lifeisnotagame]

Surely if you are paying all that money for prep you shouldn't feel that level of desperation??

[Guacamole]

Is he as upset about this as you are? What a confidence blow to him. What are his feelings about attending a local school? You need to start visiting local schools see what is out there and what they have to offer. He may find one he absolutely loves and will excel in.

[YouJustDoYou]

In practice papers he was scoring 80% and above

But the bursary placement will be inundated and only the very, very brightest will get that coveted placement. There are children getting almost 100% - 80% won't cut it, I'm afraid.

[FagAsh]

Oops sorry I thought they were separate grammars!

I agree, it’s the bursary.

Give the boy a break and stick him in a decent state school. Sounds awful.

[Pegase]

Bursary is sort of equal opportunity but schools only have so many bursary places to give out and more applicants than they have bursary places (which have to be funded by the school after all). So the children with highest results will take all the bursary places

Some schools will still offer you a fee paying place if you have passed the admissions test/interview though just lower ranked but they will have run out of bursary places.

[ZebrABC]

Many state school options across London area doing better at GcSEs than closest private. Great kids and perhaps no different culture. Also do not fear the transition we are all the same. Having experienced both worlds may be his blessing.

[GracefulHippo]

I think this amount of schools is normal in some areas. Most parents in our school apply to the higher end of 5-10 schools. We are doing 3 and other parents think we are mad. The head keeps telling us that our first choice is the right school for DD (not the most academic, but a good school), that he has a very good relationship with the registrar and that there should be no problem. Our school provides a recommendation letter and records of test performance over the past years as an additional marker for the secondary schools. OPs headmaster seems to be doing an awful job. Literally his job is to get every child into the right school for them. This will differ for each child depending on academic ability, personally and interests - and indeed bursary requirements.

I don’t know anything about boys secondary, but if we were in OPs situation, I would be waiting outside the headmaster’s office on Monday, very polite and ask him what his plan was.

OP if your son is your carer (?), does the school know? My impression is that each child has a “story”, why a secondary school should take that particular child. Telling them that your DS has worked very hard, against all odds, carer for his disabled (?) mum who is on benefits could give secondary schools an appreciation for the fact that he is very likely to be responsible, Resilient, hard working and kind, which all are amazing qualities. You may also want to discuss this with the headmaster.

[Dearover]

Wtf is this how everybody lives in the south of England? This is dreadful, I had no idea children were exposed to this scale of rejection and stress at so young an age.

Not everyone lives like this down South. Hampshire doesn't have grammar schools and seems to manage perfectly well without. Not many scrums to get into the "right" school either.

[FainaSnowChild]

Fucks' sake.
Talk about living in a bubble. What's wrong with local state secondaries? I realise you haven't applied. Get an application in pronto.

[Lotsalotsagiggles]

At least visit the other state schools and go from there?

[ZebrABC]

@GracefulHippo do prep school heads talk to registrars to help pupils chances?

[Lordfrontpaw]

I this was me... I’d consider moving him to a prep that goes to 13+ and think very carefully about next move (private or state).

That gives you some time to consider what best to do rather than try to make a decision right now in panic mode.

Maybe the current school can advise - I’m surprised that they haven’t been particularly honest or helpful (by the looks of it).

[Jesz]

This child has done more exams then what most people sit GCSEs, it's apparent your DS will not fit into such schools, or he's actually flunking they hoping to get the message across, find a state school, for his sake.

[endofthelinefinally]

There are very good state schools in Herts. I suggest you start looking to move there and get your son on a waiting list for one of them.
I agree with pp that a score of over 90% would be essential for a bursary or a selective state school.
Your son has had a great start and will probably have the skills to settle into secondary school.

[Isohungy]

Why are you putting your son through this?

It doesn't sound like its for his benefit now. You've crossed the line over into narrow vision.
You need to take a step back and remember he's just a child. Free education is a privilege- state or not.

[Pegase]

@ZebrABC yes they do if they have a good relationship with the Senior School.

[itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted]

Sorry OP I think you've been incredibly naive - the bursary situation is undoubtedly putting schools off as there are only a couple of spots and often it's only for a portion of the few not the whole fee which is what you are presumably looking for to be paid. Secondary education is a LOT more expensive than prep!

Did No one explain to you that you would likely be looking to have to fund this largely yourself and that no way would a full bursery be available?

They are trying to give equal opportunities to all but they spread the pot of money over several children rather than just 1 or 2 and to me that is absolutely fair

This is likely to cause more harm than good - not only the pressure you have put him under but also you will have to be allocated a state school spot by the local authority if you don't get anywhere in the private sector and this won't be a school of your choosing (and likely standard)

[ZebrABC]

@Pegase wow thx

[3luckystars]

Move. Put him in to the nearest school he can get in to. People move all the time and you will find him a place somewhere.
Tell him the only reason he didn't get in was because there was no full funding available. That's the truth.
Move, try and find him some decent friends and tell him he is fantastic.

[unfortunateevents]

Lots of blame being attached to the Headteacher at the current prep here but at the end of the day if parents are determined to enter their child for so any exams what are the school supposed to do? We have no idea what kind of advice the OP may have been given by them and as she is moving and has no idea where she may end up it is rather difficult for them to advise appropriately with the scatter-gun approach which has been used.

I also have no idea why you think your DS could not manage in a state school, on another thread you said that he came FROM a state school and has only been in prep for the past couple of years?

[HandsOffMyRights]

You asked for advice. Think of your son now and not your desire for an independent place. He's been through so much and I am concerned about this child's mental health and wellbeing.

Please contact the LA on Monday to enquire about secondary school applications.

I still don't understand why all the admin and effort went into organising lots of private exams, but no state secondary school form (CAF) was completed? I understand that you may not have any intention of sending him to a state school, but it's insurance should other plans not work out.

[Growingboys]

Apply to state schools now.

Poor boy. Eight exams! The prep school has given you very bad advice. I don't really understand why you went private in the first place.