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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Dd has handed her notice in as prefect, is she BU?

40 replies

Lovemusic33 · 10/12/2019 15:24

Dd is year 11 and was made prefect (not something she put her name down for), she has Aspergers and has been bullied constantly through high school, being prefect has made things worse for her. She also feels like she’s being made to do things that teachers should be doing or dinner laddies, organising kids at lunch time, making sure no one runs in the corridors etc..etc..

So today she wrote a email to head of year resigning from prefect duties, I’m not sure if she’s even allowed to resign. Is she being unreasonable? Or should she be able to chose if she’s a prefect or not?

She also thinks it’s unfair that year 11’s should have the extra stress of being a prefect on top of doing GCSE’s. She suffers badly with anxiety and found the mock exams very stressful.

OP posts:

Justmuddlingalong · 10/12/2019 15:33

No. She's entitled to resign if she wants to.

Anoisagusaris · 10/12/2019 15:35

She can resign if she likes, but those are standard prefect duties and being a prefect is seen as an honour and looks great on CVs.

Hoppinggreen · 10/12/2019 15:35

At DD’s school they apply. If it’s not something your daughter has chosen to do then she shouldn’t have to

Spied · 10/12/2019 15:37

Perhaps the school thought they were helping her ( confidence, resilience etc).
I would think she's perfectly able to resign though.

helpmum2003 · 10/12/2019 15:40

Totally reasonable for her to resign. As a parent I would contact school to back her up. Poor thing to be put in that position.

Original poster

Lovemusic33 · 10/12/2019 15:58

Yes, it wasn’t something she chose to do, she doesn’t like anything that draws attention to herself, most people in her year don’t like her as it is (she’s your typical nerd and her Aspergers makes her pretty unsociable). Dd usually hides away in the computer room or library on her lunch breaks, she doesn’t ever go outside and rarely eats lunch in the canteen and now she has to stand in the canteen making sure people behave in the queue. She really hates doing it. She understands that it can go in her CV but isn’t that bothered. She’s working towards level 8’s and 9’s in all her GSCE’s so would rather be revising than being prefect at lunch times.

OP posts:

Johnathonripples · 10/12/2019 16:58

If she’d rather be working hard at revision (doesn’t matter what grade she is aiming for) then it’s totally up to her. So no.. not being unreasonable

Berrylove · 10/12/2019 17:04

Why would she be being unreasonable? Yes she’s totally within her right to resign, especially when it’s making the bullying worse. Frankly it won’t really make a difference whether it’s on her cv or not, and tbf she could just include it anyways.

RhymingRabbit3 · 10/12/2019 17:09

I think she is sensible and mature to realise that it is causing her stress and to resign. Being a prefect isnt compulsory so of course she can resign.

I'm not sure that being a prefect is so "great on the CV' - at my school about half the kids were prefects. She could still put something like "in year 11 I was selected to be a prefect" and not go into much detail as technically this is true.

Changemyname18 · 10/12/2019 18:02

On the basis that this was so.ethong she was made to do, and didn't apply for a position, I think it is perfectly reasonable. Schoolmay have felt this could have helped her socially, but if she is unco.fortable, then they have made the wrong call. It may have been the right call if they had then supported her,which doesn't appear to be happening in this case

newdeer · 10/12/2019 18:06

Her GCSE results are way more important than any temporary kudos gained form being a prefect. I think it's honorable of her to have bothered to formally resign. I know a few pupils who just don't do their duties because they didn't volunteer for prefect duty and it isn't right for them.

noblegiraffe · 10/12/2019 18:06

Oh so the school can’t afford to pay staff to do lunch duties any more so they are picking compliant kids and dumping it on them?

Perfectly reasonable for her to resign. Policing the lunch queue isn’t a nice job, SLT should do it.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/12/2019 18:08

I'd be really proud of her for resigning.
She knows what she needs right now and all the reasons this enforced responsibility doesn't suit her. She's dien the right thing and sounds like she's done it well

LemonPrism · 10/12/2019 21:31

@Anoisagusaris no it looks good on uni applications. No one gives a shit if you were a prefect when you apply for graduate jobs.

SnuggyBuggy · 10/12/2019 21:37

Surely anyone could just say they were a prefect on their CV, it's not like there is an official record.

Original poster

Lovemusic33 · 10/12/2019 21:57

noblegiraffe that’s exactly how she see’s it. The other prefects are making her do most of the work as they obviously don’t want to be there either. She said she has to police the food hall queue, people running in corridors, people not wearing the correct uniform etc..etc..
It just gives kids another excuse to pick on her.

OP posts:

Genevieva · 10/12/2019 22:25

She sounds like a very sensible girl. Well done her for thinking clearly about her predicament, making a brave decision and acting on it!

This may been an occasions when her Aspergers has been a gift.

Dazedandconfused10 · 10/12/2019 22:29

Lol prefect on a cv makes not a shred of difference.

CalleighDoodle · 10/12/2019 22:29

Perfectly reasonable to resign. Someone did when i was a prefect in the 90’s.

SLT should absolutely be in the dinner hall.

But no it is not a teacher’s job. School should be paying people to do it.

peachgreen · 10/12/2019 22:32

at it being good to go on your CV. Literally nobody will ever care, unless you're head boy or girl at some fancy public school!

BoogieFeet · 10/12/2019 22:34

Totally reasonable for her to resign, especially given the behaviour of the other prefects. Much better that she can use her own time sensibly and reduce her anxiety. All the best to her.

Dazedandconfused10 · 10/12/2019 22:36

@peachgreen not even then! I don't even look at the secondary school. It doesn't matter, and makes someone no more qualified for a role, never would I base someone's suitability for a job on the fact they had an unasked for opportunity when growing up over someone else.

Punxsutawney · 10/12/2019 23:12

Ds is year 11 and autistic. He would hate to be a prefect. He would never get picked anyway as teachers ignore him and all his peers dislike him. I understand the issues with bullying.

I think she is fine to resign. She understands it's a stressful year and she's not enjoying the job. Much better to feel happier with less anxiety. She can relax now a bit more now!

Tytre · 10/12/2019 23:13

I’d be proud .

BubblesBuddy · 10/12/2019 23:19

Taking responsibility is never bad. However if she is not happy, resign. Some employers do like to see roles of responsibility being undertaken - it is not all ignored. They even like employees to talk to each other so perhaps that was why the school asked her to be a prefect. Preparation for life beyond school?

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