Dd has handed her notice in as prefect, is she BU?

[Lovemusic33]

Dd is year 11 and was made prefect (not something she put her name down for), she has Aspergers and has been bullied constantly through high school, being prefect has made things worse for her. She also feels like she’s being made to do things that teachers should be doing or dinner laddies, organising kids at lunch time, making sure no one runs in the corridors etc..etc..

So today she wrote a email to head of year resigning from prefect duties, I’m not sure if she’s even allowed to resign. Is she being unreasonable? Or should she be able to chose if she’s a prefect or not?

She also thinks it’s unfair that year 11’s should have the extra stress of being a prefect on top of doing GCSE’s. She suffers badly with anxiety and found the mock exams very stressful.

My boy is in Year 10 and in a similar position (our secondary makes the Year 10s the house and sports leaders, probably because Year 11s have enough on their plates). He just flat out refused to police other children at break times; that should be the job of paid staff, end of. He decided instead he would just report it if he saw it quietly, not step in himself because that's a recipe for bullying. Others have followed his lead, and now they've been told they don't have to 'police' the other students on their break ttimes anymore. Result!

Sounds like she’s maturing and sensible. Well done.

She can still put prefect on CV - she was a prefect and did the job. You don't need to say precise dates of it - year 11 prefect is factually correct and perfectly acceptable for a cv.
I did work experience at a doctors - i didn't say that it was only half a day.
Be proud of her for knowing her limits.

Tbh as well as her writing and resigning you should be writing to the school to query the practice. They have imposed a difficult behaviour management job (I’ve policed the lunch queue, it’s not easy) on a vulnerable pupil and it has resulted in her being a target of unpleasant behaviour. This entire scheme should be scrapped.

My understanding is that universities don't care a jot about whether someone has been a prefect or not, and once you have a degree potential employers are much more interested in that.

If she has 8s and 9s she is going to be looking at academically selective universities who won’t care two hoots . Ds has a senior position of responsibility in school and he didn’t even have room to mention it in his personal statement by the time the academic stuff was in .

Well done her for thinking clearly about her predicament, making a brave decision and acting on it!

Agree with this totally.

I'd be really proud of her for resigning. She knows what she needs right now and all the reasons this enforced responsibility doesn't suit her. She's dien the right thing and sounds like she's done it well

Totally agree with PP about this. Part of secondary school is learning about managing your time and setting clear boundaries.

She's displaying both of these skills and as someone with a close family member who has Aspergers I'm really impressed!

My family member would struggle to address this and follow through as she would find the process of confronting something head on confusing / would be so anxious about wording it etc.

This must have been hard for her so I'd be really proud

I agree with PP, no one's going to be the least bit interested that you're a prefect. (I did university admission and we certainly didn't look at that kind of thing). Of course she shouldn't have to do it if she doesn't want to in fact I'd be proud of her for being proactive about the situation.

They only have senior prefects at DDs school, in year 12, due to GCSE year being the priority. You also have to apply.

DD is house captain and a senior prefect which will look good on her personal statement, so she wanted to do it. Those who are keenest as senior prefect get given the Head Girl role in year 13. It's seen as an honour but absolutely voluntary. Your DD is doing the right thing.

Oh and agree it's not a personal statement / uni must have! At my school you could volunteer to be prefect and unless you were a well established gobshite they let you be one and help out.

I was very hard on myself at school as I wanted to maintain my grades so I decided I didn't want to be a prefect, to have maximum time to study and also have a break between lessons so I could be refreshed and concentrate on the next one.

Well done her, she sounds like a sensible all round good egg

Thank you. I am very proud of her, she has recognised that it’s too much for her and unfair having to give up her time to do someone else’s job.

I am annoyed that the school gave her the job of prefect when they know how she struggles, especially socially. This is a child who is sitting exams in a side room as she can’t cope with the hall.

She does want to go to one of the top uni’s and is hoping for level 8’s and 9’s in her GCSE’s, she’s found the mocks really stressful but has done really well, she feels being a prefect is effecting her revision time and relaxation time.

Massively sensible of her. Being a prefect is stressful - DD2 was one in Yr 11. She did enjoy the responsibility but it was hard work. And she chose to be one - applied and was selected. It should not be imposed on students.

I'd be proud of her too. If she has top grades she won't need "prefect" to boost her CV!

Good on her. I would be proud of my DD if she did the same.