Quandaries about secondaries and moving house - N London vs Kent vs Surrey

[lostlondoner]

Hello

I live in East Surrey. I have never felt at home here but it's got better I guess! We are considering moving either further out to Tun Wells for a bit more life, prettier countryside and a bit less of a commuter town feel or moving back in to N London where we used to live for shorter commute and to enjoy London with kids. We are planning on doing it sooner rather than later as I think it will just be harder as they grow older.

We need to consider v carefully as don't want to move again so I have some questions about schools:

Tun Well grammars - am aware it is v pressured and tutoring is needed. And you have to live close by now for any real chance. Does anyone have any real life info on what it's like? I would hope we would not get drawn into the stress and just keep calm and carry on. Am happy to tutor but am also concerned at the pressure kids may feel. Have DS6 and DS3 so I have no real idea if they will be academic other than DS6 is doing v well right now, he's bright and enthusiastic but who knows what DS3 will be like! Is Skinners really good? It sounds fab once you are in. My only concern is that it is single sex but it's not a deal breaker.
If they dont get in what is the state option?
We are fortunate that we could consider private but is Sevenoaks the only one nearby? I'd prefer a less hot housey private but I don't think there is one. Maybe I'm wrong about Sevenoaks! And how hard is it to get into Sevenoaks? If they don't pass the 11+ I'm thinking they probably are not the right fit for Sevenoaks anyway.

N London - Does anyone have any opinions about Fortismere and APS? Are they the best options in Muswell Hill now? I've read a lot and get the impression pastoral care is not great at Fortismere which puts me off. Do either have anything they focus on like sport or art? Again I have no idea what my sons would be interested in right now but they do seem to like sport, maths and English.
Is Highgate School hard to get into at secondary? This would be our private choice in the area but we'd like to do state primary and have no idea if it's super hard to get into at 11+ What is the pressure like?

East Surrey - if we stay does anyone have any opinions about Reigate Grammar and Whitgift? And Caterham? I've got the impression Caterham is quite sporty but also highly academic. How hard is it to get in at 11+ from state primary? The state option is not great.

I'd like an all round school that isn't too hot housey with good pastoral care but perhaps that's because my sons are only tiny right now!! So hard to base a decision on a future you don't know.

If you've got this far thank you. Basically any intel on any of the schools mentioned would be v useful as we try and make a difficult decision.

PS I wouldn't want to live in Potters Bar.

My child has a friend at Reigate Grammar and it's a great school - the child is very happy. Academic but not a hot house. Dulwich has a lot of banker/city type families. We know several boys who didn't pass the 11+ that go there. Alleyns very competitive as co-Ed - seems more creative than DC, similar families, no rugby!

To be honest of you move to potters bar you might as well move to Tunbridge Wells. At least there you have a wider choice of schools, not just DAO. Potters Bar is so on t in the bits itll be the same as living in Tunbridge Wells, you're not exactly going to be able to make the most of London. Unless you move to Islington and try for one of those places but they're like gold dust.

A lot of questions are asked if you've moved within 36 months @PatienceVirtue. Full details on the website.

I'm talking about the 22 distance places, not eligibility to sit the exam.

Thank you everyone this is incredibly helpful. Now we just need to decide what to do. Feeling very under pressure as have to apply for primary by mid Jan for our littley so easier to move now than when we have two kids to try and get primary places for. In TW it may be somewhat easier as I can commute back to where we are until a place comes up for my older one though not ideal.

I'm visiting all the primaries now. There are some spaces free in some of the less regarded but still ok primaries in TW for year 1.

In N6 we loved St Michaels and Highgate Primary or Tetherdown or Coldfall. I think places come up occasionally as more movement there but it's a gamble!! None at the moment anyway.

@Lightsabre thank you that's the impression I got too. Reigate does look good and I feel buoyed by the Sevenoaks comments too.

Do double check Judd and Skinners catchment areas - they seem to be pretty broad still within Kent and the catchment changes for Skinners have mostly hit the villages in East Sussex not Kent. I live in a village on the outskirts of Sevenoaks (but technically we’re Sevenoaks). The boys here who didn’t go to the grammars in Maidstone (which are less selective) got their choices with no appeals for both Judd and Skinners. I used to live in an East Sussex village not that far south of TW and two friends from there got Tunbridge Wells for Boys not their first choice, Skinners, this year.

I think you’d be absolutely fine in a surrounding TW Kent village re schools but agree it would be more about what lifestyle suits you. Tunbridge Wells is a well heeled really nice town with good shops and restaurants. If that’s what you’re used to then definitely your best bet. When we made the move from East Sheen in SW London to East Sussex 14 years ago it was a bit of a shock to the system! It was lovely on many levels and there were plenty of DFLs (people who have moved from London - down from London) but being used to having lots of things on tap, it’s a bit of an adjust. Where we are now in outer Sevenoaks has a lot more amenities. Do your research on the nice (and not so nice, although nothing is horrible) parts of TW. If you’ve got a Muswell Hill budget though I wouldn’t have thought you’d find getting something great in a nice area of TW a problem.

Bennett’s you’d probably have to live on top of to get a non faith place.

PS,DD is Year 7 so all the examples given above are this year, after the catchment changes.

Reigate and Whitgift are both top 100 so highly selective but not as difficult to get into as Highgate. If your children aren’t academic enough, you’d always have options such as Dunnotar or the Cedars etc

Dulwich comps aren’t for the faint hearted - their intake includes some of the stabbiest/gang infested places in London. So if you moved out of London for your kids, it’d be very counterintuitive to send them to a comp in Dulwich. If you wanted to move there, you could possibly also consider Emmanuel (Clapham Junction area) and you’d still be well located for the Croydon schools (ie Whitgift, Trinity and Royal Russell).

@SJane48S ah that sounds good. We did consider some villages like Brenchley and Matfield and Chiddingstone but thought they might be a bit risky what with tight catchments. It's a complete 🤪🤯🤯
I think, given I'm struggling in a small commuter town we probably would be better off in somewhere a bit more livelier so TW was the shortlisted place in the end.

@JoJoSM2 I def do not want a stabby comp. gah!

Absolutely not!

If you like period houses (and I do) then see attached map. I really like this area of TW and there are some extremely nice properties here. It’s near the Pantiles too which is the best area for eating/drinking/shopping imo.

Just be aware that, counter-intuituvely, the Kent village primaries can be easier to get into, because the population density is lower. Some who live in TW commute out to village primaries because they couldn't get places at their preferred TW schools. Not saying you should live in a village, but just keep it in mind when you're school-hunting. Also, it's a long way off, but if you're considering Sevenoaks, give a thought to transport. They don't do buses except for a shuttle bus up from the station - so you might be looking at either a train from TW or quite a drive every day. Finally, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this, but you're cutting it fine to move before the primary application deadline!! Though there is a short extension for changes of address.

@materridet yes I know! I think we'll end up leaving it until older one is going into year 3 so a bit easier on places and so just year 1 place to sort out. We're going to decide after next week so will have to move quick to get a rental if we do it now.

Of course it would be easier to just stay where we are but it depresses me to think I'll be here for the foreseeable

I use Sevenoaks station frequently and a lot of the Sevenoaks School kids arrive that way. There are very frequent trains & a 19-23 minute journey. There are lots of kids who use the trains in the morning in both directions

Sure, but OP might want to think about accessibility to TW station when thinking about house hunting.

OP I see where you're coming from, but if you move in a year's time then you'll be looking for two in-year places, which can be v hard to find. At least if you moved now, it's a bit easier to control the Year R place (as long as you can find a property near enough to the school you like), and then your older child would be on the waiting list as a sibling?

@materridet agreed, some of the leafy large houses on the edge of town if DC don’t get a lift would be difficult

@SJane48S my road is on that map!

You’ve obviously got taste :-)!

You're right about the convenience - five minutes' walk to both TW station and The Pantiles. I'd put Claremont as one of the top primary schools and that's a couple of minutes away - I returned to the UK with DD 16 years ago and went private because of the timescale.

Thanks again. We have a lot to think about. I'm hoping I'm feeling overly worried because I'm thinking about it so much right now.

It bothers me that it seems so pressured in the southeast/london. The areas we are considering don't seem to have any good comps where it's a straightforward thing with no exams or interviews.

I guess APS and Fortismere are the options we have if we go back or St Gregs or Skinners Academy but I'm not hearing great things. I will look into these schools a bit more. Maybe it's because you can't compare state/selective/indie and actually those comps are just fine if we weren't looking at other options.

I'm aware we are very fortunate that we can consider indie and I know I'm overthinking it all. I'm just not sure I want to go down the highly pressured selective route or put my eggs in one basket for highgate.

Anyway need to decide asap if we're doing this now!

@Lobsterquadrille2 yes we've earmarked around there or towards Bishops Down as like the proximity to the commons and we also need easy access to London. Other option would be Southborough way and access to Tonbridge or HB station.

St Greg’s is Catholic and over subscribed. Skinners Academy has made big strides in turning around performance, what you may be hearing is it’s historical reputation. Uplands is commutable and children who live in TW go there. Parents with children I know who go there rate it (but a friend who worked there briefly didn’t!). There is also a Boys State school in Tonbridge (the name escapes me!) - if you live in High Brooms then (and you’d have to check!) you may fall into catchment area.

There's Hayesbrook (boys) and Hugh Christie (Co Ed) in Tonbridge. Neither has a great rep, though others will disagree.