Is 14 yr old mature enough to choose own work experience?

[mashedpotatoes]

Hello everyone,

When it came to finding work experience in year 10, which of you let your child choose which places to contact, and which of you sorted it out yourselves?

My daughter's school has told the students that they should write their own CV and covering letter and they should find the experience themselves.

What's bothering me is that I don't know if there's an unsaid rule that in fact the parents should take the initiative and use their common sense to find something suitable for their child, or if it really is down to the child to find something.

Also, do you think their choice of work experience will impact their future career?
I've managed to bring it up in conversations with people I know and I've heard things like:

• a friend found her daughter some work experience in the legal department of her company and now her daughter works in law
• another friend found her daughter experience in the speech department of the hospital where she worked and then her daughter worked as a medical secretary and then as a speech and language therapist
• as for me, I did my work experience at the local newspaper and at a radio station and I've since worked in music publishing and now as a private English tutor. My school organised my experience for me.

I can't help thinking that if I'd done my work experience somewhere else, I would have a different (better!) career now.

My daughter wants to contact music shops and sound recording studios. She plays the drums, she's into rock - she wishes she'd been alive in the 90's because of Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers etc, etc..) I can't help thinking that this could be the start of an unstable low-paid career, even if it's fun and enjoyable. I've always encouraged her drums and the groups she plays in. I just always thought the music would be just for fun, not an actual career. She is often top of her class, she's bright, and she deserves to have a stable career and a good life. I think we all hope this for our kids.

This whole subject has been stressing me out for weeks and I would really appreciate other mums' opinions on this.

I've been considering saying that she can contact the music shops/recording studios if I can also contact some places on her behalf (communications dept in a local bank, solicitors, graphic designer, courts, human resources) and she could have two shorter work experience placements. She doesn't even know that these kinds of jobs exist!
Basically, should I just keep quiet, or get involved? At the age of 14, is she mature enough to make this decision?

Sorry this is so long. I've had several weeks of worrying and arguments and really want to sort this out!

God this is all really different to when I was at school! Our school handed out a list of places you could do yr 10 work experience, but you could organise your own if you wanted. I don't think we knew what a cv was (I know we didn't! )
Maybe now that everything for teens is so structured and proffessionalised it makes work experience seem like a bigger step than it really is? Although from pp experiences it's obviously been useful for some kids.
OP I know exactly what you mean about being left to fend for yourself-I had no help with anything like this as a teen, and I can be overly invested with my own teen too but even if think in this particular case it's an opportunity for her to have fun doing what she enjoys. Life seems so career focused and serious for older kids now. I meet 19 year olds who are more mature than I was at 30 in some ways, they know all about pensions and mortgages and graduate training schemes!
Anyway, I ramble, but don't worry too much about this. It sounds like your daughter has it in hand.

All work experience placements will be checked by the school and visited during the week by a teacher, it's a brilliant opportunity for independence and experience. Let her take full control to discover for herself the big wide world of employment.

If she’s into rock she could on magazines like NME / Rolling Stone - music journalism is always crying out for free labour. Another option would be contacting local music studios directly to see if she can assist or observe

I think it’s so irrelevant to be honest. I did mine at the library in the bigger town with a best friend because we didn’t want to stay in our own town! I don’t know anyone who’s parents were involved other than given their child a lift to the station or to the place!

If it helps, going back to my work experience, I knew what I wanted to do and my aunt's cousin's son in law worked in a software company and got me a placement. So it was a case of me telling my family what I wanted and us working out who we knew who could help.

Other friends did all kinds of stuff. Unsurprisingly a lot of the more glamorous or exciting sounding jobs turned out to have a lot of boring bits which is useful to find out sooner rather than later.

I did work experience in a hotel, an architects and a beauticians!

None anything to do with what I do now!

Yes 14 is old enough. I think most of the point of work experience at that age is to experience writing a cv, talking on the telephone to an adult who you don't know, being in a working environment. The place doesn't really matter that much. I did my first work experience at a preschool, really loved it and learnt a lot.

work experiences at this stage are all basic stuff, I don't think these experiences will encourage DC on future career option that much. One DC of a friend thought about study economics, and went to an accountancy firm for experience, and decided office based job is not for him and studied medicine instead. I think that level of office work experiences are quite boring and might put DC off.

DC often form their option of careers via other route. It might help that you find some career successful people and let DD talks to them and find out what they do, this might inspire her. And discuss with her about the unsteady and low pay of the music industry, although this might not make much difference. As young children might think they are the unique one, and will be successful.

Another thought, do you think your DD might be able to learn another instrument, like piano? The reason for this, it can be a back up, as private piano teachers' earning are not bad. So if DD insist to go into music, she can have a steady income by teaching piano and drum at the same time.

I left it up to my DC.

In my Company I reject any applications from parents on behalf of their DC,on the basis that if they haven't got the gumption to do it themselves I can't see the point in taking them on

You're supposed to let the child do it all themselves. It's not really that important. Most treat it as a week off school.

I used to coordinate work exp in a school. Head of year would give me a list of 20 pupils who would need extra support but otherwise most dc organised themselves.

I once had a mum very cross contact me because her precious dd wanted to be a vet and all the vet placements were taken. She said they'd offered her work experience in the summer holidays therefore she'd take holiday during work exp period like bloody toil! I laughed and said there are many skills to be learned at work exp and is expect someone wanting to go into such a competitive field as veterinary medicine to go that extra mile and do work exp in their holidays like I had to get into journalism (was a features editor and now work as head of communications but school job was ideal when my babies were tiny). The mum was furious with me and I should allow the holiday as I used to be her next door neighbour - for 9 months when we'd rented 8 years previously and she never even spoke to me except for Halloween trick or treating one time! I wonder if that kid became a vet. Her mum's attitude would have been a massive block.

Actually, parents were the worst, dc are fab at 14 and usually have a good idea what they want just some support getting it. You can get dc to contact the chamber of commerce to find help or ask the school. I couldn't have sorted all 200 dc but any parents asking I'd have definitely helped. Good luck!

I think work experience can be really helpful in giving you food for thought about what you definitely don't want to do, as much as what you might do, in the future!

I asked ds what sort of thing he's like to do then I helped him to sort it (he has an asd) He spent a week in a music shop and loved it. He loved being with like minded people. The shop owner warned him it was a minimum wage job but most of the other staff were part time gigging musicians.

Since then he managed to blag himself a session sitting in the pit with the band of a major touring musical.

He plans on studying music technology at college and uni.

I went to an architects. Every single person there said ffs whatever you do don’t study architecture. So I didn’t. Not sure what the moral of that story is.

Thank you to everybody for all your stories and advice. It's interesting to know that those of you who handle applications from students looking for work experience always reject the ones which come from the parents. That's very handy to know!

do you think their choice of work experience will impact their future career?

Did for my DC.
... DS2 definitely ruled out gardening (after watching someone water plants for 4 hrs, on his WE), DD definitely ruled out law (had WE placement in very nice council legal office but she wants a job with more interaction). DS1 is now thinking to be a fitness instructor as part of his overall job duties (had WE cleaning gym equipment at local leisure centre).

My DD1 is also 14, in Y10 and expected to organise her own work experience... which she has arranged to do in a recording studio in central London. To be honest, she's so indecisive most of the time that I was delighted by her enthusiasm for this idea and whole-heartedly encouraged her efforts (even though I had my own ideas about what I thought would make a good placement for her). My only contribution was to read over the introductory e-mail she'd written to check it made sense and to later forward the completed placement forms to her school.

My siblings did work experience in the technical department of a local theatre and with a local lighting hire firm. Neither has a degree, they both work in that/a related field now and earn way more than I do as a primary school teacher (with degree and postgrad qualifications). As teenagers, we all arranged our own work experience by just asking wherever it was we were interested in. Neither of our parents were teachers or sound/lighting people and they didn't have any contacts that were in a position to help us secure highbrow placements.

Ds did his Y10 work experience in our local library, he absolutely loved it & now pops in every couple of weeks to see the people he worked with. He doesn't want to work in a library, he is interested in journalism, but it gave him a good insight in to the world of work, he got an excellent report & discovered new talents, he ran the coding club, the pensioners reminiscence session & story time for the toddlers & it gave him a massive confidence boost.

@SE13Mummy I hope your daughter's work experience in the sound recording studio goes well :)

Career decision making behaviour is complex and multi-faceted. There's not one particular thing that influences someone. It's a range of things ....and the level of influence varies depending on the individual.

All schools have to implement something called the Gatsby benchmarks which include experiences of employers and work places. At this age the purpose of work experience is to experience the world of work. It's not necessarily going to decide her career path at this stage.

To those of you who have 'high flying professions', can I ask why you chose your job? My DD definitely doesn't want to become a dentist, but what is it that makes teenagers choose these professions? Did you go to good schools? Have a good careers advisor? Have contacts in the field? Have self confidence as a teenager? Have an inspirational teacher?

Speaking to a careers adviser would be my advice. They give impartial advice and can help your dd identify her interests and match them to get skills and abilities.

Research shows that parents and teachers are not great at giving careers advice! Use a professional!!

@CosmoK Thanks for mentioning the Gatsby Benchmarks. I've just looked them up and it makes me realise how much is missing in this area at my DD's school.

My son had a chosen career at that age that everyone thought would be a pipedream, he wanted to be a falconer. Everyone, and I mean everyone, told him it would never happen. He arranged his own work experience in reptile and exotics pet shop (because that was his next 2nd choice career) and loved it. He is now 27 and do you know what he is today? He's a falconer who is running a falconry centre, his greatest pleasure in life was going back to his old secondary school, walking past the science teacher who had always told him he would amount to nothing (he has dysgraphia, writing and spelling are very difficult for him) with a bloody great big bird of prey on his fist and doing a display and talk for that year's Year 11s.

Never say 'never', give them the wings so they can fly as high as they want to.

They're a statutory requirement and they have to be implemented by August 2020. There should be a careers strategy on the school website and a named careers leader in school.