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Original poster

DD doesnt want to go to Prom.

65 replies

Nerdcc · 03/10/2019 21:22

I know it is early...

My DD is in Year 11. She has told me she doesnt want to go to her Prom. What do I do as I want her to go. She will be leaving that school and it hasn't been the easiest for her.

OP posts:
Rainbowknickers · 04/10/2019 00:28

God my sd’s prom cost us nearly £700
(And that was me doing her hair and make up or it would have come in closer to a grand)
She went-spent the whole night in tears and it’s gone down in the rainbow household history as the night we’re not allowed to speak about
Complete waste of time effort and money

cheeseandpickle247 · 04/10/2019 00:40

I didn’t go to my prom out of choice. I hated school so I went to Leeds fest instead. Had an amazing time and don’t regret it a single bit. Everyone I’d spoken to since said it was boring anyway.

Insomniacscientist · 04/10/2019 00:51

Please don’t force her to go just to fulfill your own needs/preconceived ideas about what should be done.
Especially if there has been any bullying involved it may feel like yet another situation when she feels on the outer and excluded.

wheresmymojo · 04/10/2019 01:26

I didn't go to the Prom and haven't regretted it for a second!

DeRigueurMortis · 04/10/2019 01:36

Why are you so invested in living vicariously through your DD?

Seriously....

If she doesn't want to go that's her decision.

My DS didn't want to go, until a week before when he changed his mind.

Admittedly a bit of a PITA rush on his outfit but hardly a major issue.

It's her Prom, not yours and perhaps maybe consider the pressure from you to go is as big a reason for not attending as any and the fact that it's even an issue under discussion at this point in the school year.....

Mummaofmytribe · 04/10/2019 01:38

My DD didn't want to go to hers. Thought it a waste of time and money. She and a small group of mates had a brilliant night out instead at a venue that suited them in clothes they liked.

AutumnRose1 · 04/10/2019 01:40

Why do you want her to go? It's her choice.

pumkinspicetime · 04/10/2019 01:52

I ended up not going to mine, several decades later can't say I regret it.
It is her choice.

sashh · 04/10/2019 02:03

She will be leaving that school and it hasn't been the easiest for her.

So why should she spend as much as one second extra with the people who will remind her of that?

Aquamarine1029 · 04/10/2019 02:04

Please leave her alone and let her make her own decision. My daughter loved school, had loads of friends and was very popular, several boys asked her to be their date, but she had no interest in going to prom. She's 20 now and has absolutely no regrets about it. She just didn't feel the need to go.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 04/10/2019 03:02

We all managed to leave school without a prom.

It's really early in the year- your daughter may change her mind. If she does or doesn't, well done her for knowing her own mind.

Topseyt · 04/10/2019 03:26

It should be her choice, not yours.

If she doesn't want to go to prom then you can't force her.

Nat6999 · 04/10/2019 03:51

Ds has already worked out how many days he has to be absent so that he isn't allowed to go & marked them on the calendar.

GothMummy · 04/10/2019 04:09

Loads of kids don't go at my son's school. It isn't considered cool. Proms did not even exist when I left secondary school, so I fail to see what the big deal is.

daffodilrosedaisy · 04/10/2019 04:47

I didn’t go to mine - just felt like I knew who m friends were by then so why would I waste time and money dressing up to impress people I didn’t even like. Don’t regret it at all. But my school was v bitchy

Fatted · 04/10/2019 05:21

Well proms weren't a thing when I was at school. You just snuck off to the pub after school on your last exam day. And results day.

If she doesn't like school, then I really don't see why you feel the need to force her to go.

Aprillygirl · 04/10/2019 05:35

My younger daughter didn’t want to go to hers either, which I was a bit surprised and ever so slightly sad about until I realised that actually I would have hated all that pomp and ceremony at 16 too. I’m sure many kids feel the same but feel pushed into going by their —mums— peers so congratulate your DD for having her own mind and use some of that money you save on taking her out somewhere nice Smile

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 04/10/2019 05:41

I didn't go to my prom. Or my graduation. Or the school residential. All things I was told I would come to regret. I never have. I am just not one of life's joiner-inners

Gooseysgirl · 04/10/2019 05:47

I didn't go to mine. I was very shy around boys (went to all-girls Primary and secondary) and I felt really uncomfortable with the idea of having to invite someone. I know my mum was disappointed, as were my closest school friends. But it was my decision. 15 of us out of a year group of 100 didn't go, we went out for a lovely meal instead.

twoheaped · 04/10/2019 05:49

Don't complain, it is an overrated, expensive, night of one upmanship.
Was thrilled my dd didn't want to go and hoping the younger one feels the same when her time comes.

Fishcakey · 04/10/2019 06:32

If she doesn't want to go don't make her. My mum would have forced me and I would have been a mess inside and hated her for it. I still remember every single thing my mum made me do Confused

SleepingIsOverrated · 04/10/2019 06:35

I didn't go to my prom. I'm 31 now and don't regret it yet Grin

OLP2019 · 04/10/2019 06:45

Such a ridiculous American import ! We never had a prom when I left school ! Sure have a party to celebrate but wtf is it with the dresses and hair and make up and limos and pressure to be Instagram ready it's just so depressing
If she doesn't want to go why not suggest she has her mates over for a movie and hang out instead and do something normal

Original poster
Nerdcc · 04/10/2019 06:47

Thanks for the reply's. You are all right. I shouldn't make her go. I was just worried that she might wished she had gone when she looks at photos of her friends. She does have friends and gets along with most people. I'm going to ask in** March and see how she feels. A lot of the girls are already planning what they are wearing so that is why DD came and said it.

OP posts:
AJPTaylor · 04/10/2019 07:09

Ask her what she would like to do instead.