School for Bright and Quirky Boy Hants/Surrey/West Sussex borders

[Traci1229]

Hello! I never thought finding the right school would be so hard and I need your help. DS12 is quite bright (ed.psych. gave IQ of 142) and has learning challenges (sensory processing issues, social anxiety, poor working memory and organisational skills). He attended a mainstream local school until Y2, then the placement fell apart and we home educated until Y6. DS wanted to return to school so we enrolled him in an independent school with support for SEN students in Hindhead; DS HATES it and wants to leave. We looked at another school for more academic boys with additional needs in Farnham but were turned away. Does anyone else find themselves in a similar situation, past or present, and how are you going forward? Any school recommendations? Thank you so, so much for any help.

Hi
Does he have an EHCP? It sounds to me like a mainstream placement is the way to go, but he may need some additional support. What’s his performance like in tests? Had you considered a more academically demanding environment for him?

It's a bit of a trek from Hindhead, but I hear very good things about Slindon College.

He does have an EHCP so hoping this will get him the support he needs. My worry about mainstream is bullying-he is quite quirky and sensitive and I think this makes him an easy target.

I will have a look at Slindon- thanks

Why was he turned down by the Farnham school? That might help work out what you need. What does he hate about his current school?

The Farnham school felt he needed too much support, which might be true currently but it is my belief that in the right environment, he would cope better with less support. He is not challenged at his current school, bored but shutting down and not meeting his targets and he needs more structure. Realistically, I know he needs challenges to build his resilience and nowhere will be perfect, but he is turned off. I have a pile of brochures from local schools but none seem a good fit.

Was the school he was turned down for More House? If so I am confused as I'm assuming at present he is at a mainstream independent in Hindhead not Stepping Stones.
Could he pass the entry for RGS? Or Salesian?
Would he do better in a State school?
What does he hate about his school?

Oh i was going to recommend a school in hindhead...
Frensham heights is a bit quirky.

A friends son with quite severe dyslexia thrived at Bedales and is currently doing a fully funded PhD in his early 20s. Have heard good things about it, it’s non selective, small classes, strong teaching and apparently good SEN support. Good arts reputation but friends son is into Science subjects so presumably good across the board. Don’t be put off by the sometimes off reputation or stories from 80s or 90s.

Came on to mention Bedales! Namechanged as outing. Quirky, sensitive and bright sounds like a lot of the kids I know at Bedales.. and like me when I went there (sensitive and quirky anyhow!). I had dyslexia. Met lots of arty and interesting kids, went for sixth form, wish I’d gone from 13.
Frensham has similar ethos ish but I don’t have personal experience of it.

Frensham has a new head - and tends to not be too keen on too much SEN, it also might not be academic enough if that is what OP's DS struggles with - I do wonder if more straight academic might help (it certainly does some ASD children who prefer rules).

Thanks everyone-we are walking distance to Bedales. We know some families there and they didn’t think it would suit but perhaps I should investigate. Funny how a new head can change the whole tone of a school... Thanks again!

I’m not sure re bedales if ASD is part of the picture. Structured academic is a better bet.

I would definitely have a walk round and see what they say regarding your sons needs and abilities. Also, see how your son feels- he might love the idea of the less conventional set up if more regular schools haven’t suited him. It is a school that fosters individuals and doesn’t try to get people to fit a particular mold.
That said, it may not suit.
Ime, there were children whose parents sent them there for the way teaching and learning happens, and also rich kids whose parents liked the fact that other rich kids went there and the sort of scenester rep. The two co exist and overlap.
Lots of my friends weren’t conventionally academic but did well as they were able to follow their passions and that made them into strong learners 🤷‍♀️

I appreciate all the help and suggestions. I feel so pressured at the moment with summer hols almost over because I know the anxiety will hit maximum soon. Hoping to find the best fit before GCSEs start but not sure where to begin (again), so all of your advice is so helpful. Thanks!

Did your EP give reccomendations? My very first thought on reading your title was More House, Farnham. I have the details of an excellent EP who is very familiar with MH if you want a second opinion.

I’ve not got very up to date information but have you looked at Ditcham? Alway used to be small and nurturing and good rep for supporting kids with dyslexia

Puffty-More House said no after seeing his reports and EP had no suggestions. Does your EP offer suggestions generally or is he/she affiliated with More House?

Ditcham has been a school I wanted to check out but wasn’t sure about SEN, so that is good to know.

Are you able to be a bit more specific about the support he needs?
It might be he needs a lot at the start to support him into a new setting but you could scale back quite quickly.

TheBigBallOfOil-I agree with you. It is mostly the social side of things-he gets very anxious if classmates have a row or if there is any teasing/banter. If there is any tension, it just takes him over and he can’t cope with being in the classroom and ends up needing to do his work at a space elsewhere. It’s also auditory processing issues like filtering out background noise but he has noise cancelling headphones that help now.

What specific reasons did More House give for not being able to meet his needs? I thought they were very used to boys who had significant learning and social challenges. Just trying to understand if any of the local schools would fit

I didn't know Frensham had changed its ethos. Interesting. I know a bright, quirky boy at Bedales. He loves it. He was very unhappy at a more conventional school but Bedales really suited him.

I visited Box Hill and was really taken by it. It seemed to be full of very quirky oddball pupils (and staff ) who all seemed to get along and accept and support each other. The atmosphere was really endearing.

RGS is superb for super bright quirky boys and it has excellent SEN facilities for issues such as HFA and mild ADD/ADHD. It's a loyal school. If they take you in, the only thing you'll get thrown out for is breaking the law from what I've seen of it. But they don't really cater for complex needs. The teaching is very fast paced and the cohort is quite driven and ambitious. There's room for non sporty arty boys but the sensory processing issues you mention may be not such a good fit. You are expected to just get on with learning there.

worriedaboutmygirl-More House agreed he is academically a fit but because they do not have TAs in the classroom, they saw his leaving the classroom when he gets anxious a problem. I have been in touch to say we are working on this and it might be different if there was more structure, authority and respect in the classroom, but I haven’t heard back yet.

growlingbear-Box Hill sounds interesting; I will have a look. Increasingly intrigued by Bedales after so many posts about it... thank you

I would definitely try to explore options further with More House.

He sounds a lot like my ds (also 12). Feel free to pm me.

Box Hill have taken some dyslexic/ASD/adhd/ quirky pupils from my school in the past. I know several people who have had children go through Ditcham who have been very well supported with Learning Difficulties