Bullied at NCS and tears

[ROZ12]

Hi all

My dd is currently at Ncs. She has anxiety issues and none of her friends went with her. I encouraged her to go to open up and overcome her fears of social anxiety.

I was so proud of her for going, just got a phone call from her that a particular popular boy made fun of her glasses and swore at her and called her a f.... ing d... k. I’m fuming at moment and dd doesn’t want to do phase 2 now. One boy has made this whole experience awful, reduced her self esteem even more and the aim of fighting her fears has back fired .

I feel like a bad parent and back tracking on everything we tried to achieve .

What shall I do?? Report the boy? Let her quit?

The second week should be much better as it's in Uni accommodation. They should have planned their food as a group.

It sounds as though your DD is really getting into the spirit of NCS. The first week is designed to put them all out of their comfort zones, either staying in hostels, bunk houses or camping. The second week is usually in uni halls, so she should have her own space again. All the participants need to find their own feet and it may be that the bully is learning how to adapt in the same way as your DD. I'm not excusing his behaviour at all, but I think you should be really proud of your DD and how she is responding.

I am.not being funny but your daughter now seems to be handling it better than you. Try not to let it worry you. Be proud she has been able to get past it.

Yes super proud today saw the bully too he walked in with us! Kept my cool thou.

Agree that your DD is handling this better than you OP. It’s good that she has the resilience to be able to see somebody else’s lack of social skills as their problem not hers, and perhaps even want to support them with it.

Unless there is much more you have not written about that this boy has done, you are massively overreacting. Sticks and stones and all that? I’m not saying the kid is a lovely bloke, but it sounds like he could be dealt with with a swift ODFOD. Perhaps getting your reactions in check would be a big help to your DD with her social anxiety.

No I didn’t overreact there was some nasty things said which were unnecessary I care not to repeat .

Yeah she has proven her self to be strong as she went back, many have dropped out.

She called me last night I gave a positive mental attitude Pep talk.

@ROZ12 hope your dd's 2nd week is going well.
My dc has sent me a picture of his room (2nd week as well) .
It is lovely i dont think he will want to come home !
At least this week they are a bit nearer to home.

Yes she is happy with the accommodation however she is still lonely and scared, it’s knocked her confidence the bully last week. But she is pushing herself to do all the activities .

Your dd is amazing! Keeping going under difficult circumstances. Tell her that from me.

Both of you are amazing .
Well done .and yes tell her she has alot of people rooting for her.

I would never send anyone on an NCS course, the staff are not qualified or capable of looking after anyone, and yes i know that because of horrendous group incident from when my son went 2 years ago.

Thank you will report back Friday when she is back !

@ROZ12 Are you gping to parent thing as well.??
(Ignore above poster..you did well sending her knowing it would be difficult )

I’m working so I can’t attend And it’s 3-5:30 seems quite long! My dd won’t talk much she said and asked me not to come .

Thanks for your support .

Mizzy moo- what happened and did you make a complaint?

@ROZ12 Yes it does seem long , but it goes quick !
I can only tell you of what i know from ds1 from last year.

Parents got there for the 3pm mark (i got there at 2.45 pm .. yes a stealth boast as some were coming in at 3.10 !)
Thing students came into room ..3.30/3.45

Slide show of their activities with photos.
Each wave (group) said thi gs about whatmade their trip special and said a bit about the work /charity thing they were going to do .

(ds was in 2nd wave to talk ...might have closed my eyes for a bit for wave 8 !)

After what you have both been through ...could you not sneak in .
Obvs work couldbe a problem .

I’m
Working till 5pm I’m afraid and too late to ask the boss.

Ahh well never mind .
She will be back on friday and then 2 weeks of days .
She will be back home ! 🤥

She is back! We have news!!

The bully and his friend got caught smoking weed and left on day !- result !

Karma is a ..........!

She is happy this week and made a few friends .

Happy to go to phase 3.

Thanks everyone

Justice was done! The community project phase will probably involve DD raiding your cupboards for supplies and random Facebook requests for help.

Ahh *ROZ12 What good news ! Well not for the silly boy and his parents of !.
Daily now so not as intense on the socils side .She gets a break from them while at home.

So glad it is turning out well for her.

My dd doesn’t have Facebook but I do have cupboards!

Our community FB page is full of requests begging for prizes/materials/supporters etc.

Well done your DD for hanging in there. They are still young but she has shown resilience & that's an amazing thing to take forward.

Hey all

Ncs done!! She really liked it in the end and pleased she completed the programme.

Thanks all