Starting Yr11 Gcses 2020 Support Thread [Edited at OP's request]

[OrangeCinnamon]

A continuation of a Year 10 support thread
previous thread

Last thread was great and supportive as some of us tried to navigate year 10 and some very helpful peeps steered us through.

Kind of wish DD had mocks pre-christmas, instead of immediately after. Life is getting crazy busy between her and DS, and my DH works away so both DCs are having to fit in with each other's after school activities. There is barely an evening we're at home long enough for DD to do much more than homework; I'm stressed that revision is having to take a back seat.

We had the invitation- only parents evening last week, and all the teachers we saw were very happy with how it's all going. That said, the history teacher is behind and having to teach three lessons in the space of one; they still have what seems a huge amount to cover (on top of the huge amount they've already done).

DD had a drama scholarship audition and interview on Monday at her current school, which seems to have gone really well, and has a different scholarship interview on Tuesday, at DS's school. After being adamant she didn't want to move, then being adamant she did, she's now gone back to thinking she'll stay ( thanks to a half term school trip away with some of her best friends).

Sending lots of moral support to those parents who are struggling to keep their DCs afloat.

Feel for you Piggy. Know what it’s like as I taught for several years. You deserve a medal particularly secondary. Teenagers are so stressful and can make you feel shite. Takes a special kind of person to deal with that all day. I have so many friends still teaching in secondary and primary and see their stress. Now a TA working with kids who need support. Full time and crap pay but it’s a job I love and zero stress. Dd wading into the stress fest this morning with a tiny cold insisting on a day off. I’m late due to getting her arse into gear so got to run but just wanted to reply.

to all those stressed. I agree and think brutal is the right word. My DS finishes his two weeks of mocks today with the last of 16 papers not including the mfl speaking and listening before this two weeks. He is exhausted but can't wait for a total switch off this weekend. He goes on ski trip at end of term and says thinking of that got him through. 3 papers yesterday, final one today. So hard as he will still be 15 when sits the real ones and I just think it's too young for that amount of pressure. Results next week but not in an envelope ceremony like some of you . Really hoping for 6's and then that he can try to go up a grade in the real thing. Confidence affects his performance hugely.
Hang on in there to those still doing them. Thank goodness we don't have another set in February. I hope they now concentrate on finishing the syllabus and practice questions.

He thinks some were ok and some were tough so we will see but he has put effort in and that's good.
I know what I'll be going tonight 🍷🍷

Thanks cactus and post.

TGIF!

Absolutely. 2 bottles of have just gone in my trolley.

One positive with you being a secondary teacher, at least you know what you’re doing. Give me Sats any day.

DS has a parents' evening coming up soon.

I suspect he is spending more time on studying the subjects he finds most interesting, rather than the ones where he needs to do more work.

OMG I cant cope any longer. DS just isnt revising at all for mocks and wont engage. I have put in place some maths and science help but all the other subjects are just hopeless. He hasnt done enough notes and has no self belief.

I keep on with the revising with him and encouraging him but its really like pulling teeth and most of me thinks fuck it.

Why wont he study? I have tried loads of different methods and tbh I just want to cry.

Could it be because he's scared @ChristopherTracy

Mine is a bit like that, easily overwhelmed, lacks confidence, reluctant to try hard in case he doesn't succeed, silently panicking inside. It's very tough to deal with or it is for us anyway. DS did a few papers at the end of Y10 so we had some practice last year.

Can you get revision books if he has revision notes missing? My DS's notes are so poor in some subjects that he has abandoned them altogether and is basically working from revision guides and past papers.

Talking definitely helped us - I think the thing that eventually made the difference was getting him to think about how he wanted to feel about the exams and himself. He agreed that doing badly because the paper is really hard is ok, but doing badly because you haven't worked hard enough is a horrible feeling to have.

I kept saying, I don't care what grades you get, this is not for my benefit, but I want you to feel good about it, to go into the exams feeling confident, to know that you did your best whatever happens.

You are probably doing all of this. In which case I can only say keep going. There is loads of time before proper exams, you have got time to turn him around. (You will feel awful too if you give up and he does badly!)

ChristopherTracy, you have my total empathy.
DD is exactly the same, in that if I left her to it, she would do precisely nothing. I am having to drag her through revision by telling her what to do, when and how, and sitting with her and doing it. It is completely draining and soul-sapping.

In her case, it's a SEN issue, but the stress is the same.

Thanks both - thats actually very helpful to be reminded that we arent the only ones. All my other friends children are revising manically so much so that they have to be reminded to take breaks.

And yes I think it does reflect his complete anxiety around the process so I try to use all of my work learnt coaching skills to engage him but he just won't - thats the frustrating part.

Plus it turns out he has 'lost' his books from Year 9 when he started all of the courses.

I won't give up on him though and I keep telling him that.

Think it’s the anxiety. My DD was exactly the same in her mocks a few weeks ago, hardly revised, no motivation. Tried coaxing her to do it but didn’t want her anxiety getting worse, not expecting great things in the results and hope it will kick start her to start revising. It’s very stressful when you know they could do so much better with a little revision but no motivation.

@ChristopherTracy my DS is exactly the same and I think @hangonamo nails it: "easily overwhelmed, lacks confidence, reluctant to try hard in case he doesn't succeed, silently panicking inside"

I too am trying hard to provide what structure and support I can but it's uphill. Working full time and coming home to try to support effectively is exhausting and hard to see how to cope till next June! But keep on keeping on. We can do this, even when we can't!

DS doesn't like sitting reading notes for revision but will work on Seneca. I think it's just a generational thing - being on a screen makes it more acceptable to him.

I think the main thing is that it's only November, they have still got loads of time and hopefully will come around as mocks happen and their friends start working hard, and with lots of gentle/firm encouragement and supervision from us. (If we can stand it.) Last summer DS took about 6 papers and I was helping him most days so I am bracing myself for that again. He has mocks next week and is doing hardly anything, but seems quite chipper, I think he can't see the point at the moment. It's hard to know when they need a kick up the arse and when they need a "YOU CAN DO THIS, I BELIEVE IN YOU!"

All my other friends children are revising manically so much so that they have to be reminded to take breaks.
I find this very difficult - even this thread when people were talking about how much revision their DCs were doing over the summer holiday. DS's plan is to start revising hard in January and I'm ok with that, I just need to remember that it's not a revision competition. I'm trying not to nag for now.

to all of us whose DC do not have to be reminded to take breaks!

DS's school has two training days at the end of this week which is rather good of them. the teachers get to Christmas shop receive high quality training and the kids get two days revision time. Win-win.

Has anyone else got a child who works hard but isn’t efficient/effective in what they are revising. Says she wants help then argues she gets defensive when I try and help her be more efficient

I did have @strugglingmum73 but I think we may have turned a corner fingers crossed . What helped me was getting someone outside the school and family to talk to her about it.
Do you have a friendly teenager in Uni you can call on or could you spend some time watching some of the studytubers revision methods together (not Rubygranger that would put thefear of god into her) but ones where they talk about how to revise /organisation etc.

Unfortunately nothing I say will ever be right ...so I have to get someone else to do. We use an academic coach who helps with that kind of thing

@OrangeCinnamon - I don't know very much about studytubers. Are there any that you can point me to? Not a recommendation per se, of course different strokes for different folks, but any tips of ones to look at would be great! Thanks!

(I did go look at Ruby Granger and I did indeed get scared)

Eve Bennett is quite sensible I find. Although she did her gcses a few years back still relatable

Unjaded Jade is a lovely study tuber.
Ruby Granger is not a realistic representation of most students ( I sort of love her, though!)

@alsoplayspiccolo I love how Ruby puts herself out there and doesn't follow the crowd. Only does what she wants.
The hours long study session videos where to individual taste!

Very jealous of everyone with pre Xmas mocks....we’ll be in full fledge anxiety revision mode over the holiday. Its hard at the best of times but the workload for dyslexic DD is just that much more. Revision/homework all take longer and she’s constantly shattered.

Wish I could figure out how to get her to sleep easily, she’s always struggled to get to sleep and I fear she’ll get exhausted over GCSE’s.

DS2 starts today. On the whole they are better before Christmas but, as a teacher, I think I'd prefer them to be in February. Much more like the real thing then.

That'll be me in two years time Where, DS (y11) has his now but DD (y9 and dyslexic) will have hers after Christmas (different school). She has problems getting to sleep but has recently started using a heated eye pad for 10 mins when she gets into bed - we both have dry eyes and its for that but she says it is also helping her get to sleep. It is very relaxing.