Unhelpful school mentor?

[followthefairytalexx]

I am doing some experience days before my PGCE in September in the school I will be teaching in. I've only had 4 days of experience one last week and one this week. My mentor is nice but she makes me feel like I'm a burden. She doesn't eat lunch with me and doesn't show me how to do stuff and criticises everything I do like the lunch I bring or me not being able to find my way around the school yet which is crazy I've only been there 4 days! I am scared to ask her for help now, she seems like she doesn't want to be a mentor and I feel like a burden already. All of the staff make me feel like that.

You sound like hard work, OP. It’s nice when people are welcoming, but she isn’t employed to roll out the red carpet. She’s trying to teach. Stuff like finding your way round a school site and being able to manage to eat a sandwich on your own is part of being a professional. If she’s unhelpful during your observations and mentor meetings in September, speak to your course provider about it.

@herculepoirot2 you sound like hardwork too Ive seen other threads you’ve been in and the things people have wrote about you.

Ha! I do believe I might be, but I can eat lunch without someone holding my hand, so I suppose I have that.

@herculepoirot2 when did I say I was incapable of doing it or needed my hand holding? Im not 12 years old. I can just spot rude people easily.

Sorry but you are being unreasonable, OP. They are not being rude (and you are yourself very rude). They are busy. If you ever qualify as a teacher, I suspect you will lose the attitude quite quickly.

Im not very rude you don’t know me you’re just not happy that I know you are a well known troll on mumsnet and you can’t get away with being patronising sadly

followthefairytalexx

What about my answer suggested that I was “trolling” you?

I’m going to give you some (very genuine) advice: get better at accepting criticism, or you are in for a hell of a ride in a secondary school as an unqualified. Really.

*Reading Nobles posts, I'm not surprised that the teaching profession is on its knees.^

It’s true, I’m responsible for the recruitment and retention crisis, nothing to do with workload, funding, behaviour.

What’s interesting on this thread is that the people disagreeing with me aren’t teachers. What have I said?

1. your expectations are unrealistic
2. it will be better in September when you’re actually there officially

Have I said that I’m a grumpy-arsed mentor who scares away trainees by growling at them whenever they come near? No. But people seem to be trying to pin that on me from their own poor experiences, just because I pointed out that organising work experience for someone for 4 days in June is just another thing added to a long list of jobs for an exhausted teacher.

I will accept criticism from my mentor who is trained to give it and is my superior. I wont accept it from the likes of you who is known for criticising everyone and everything on this forum and has some sort of superiority complex.

That was aimed at @herculepoirot2

followthefairytalexx

Your aggression is weird. You asked the question, so yes, you have been criticised in the answer, and now you don’t want to accept it? Strange brew.

I didn’t ask the question of am I being unreasonable seems you’re in the wrong place.

No, you asked: unhelpful mentor? I am pointing out that she is probably just busy, not being deliberately unhelpful.

Now I think it might be personal.

Yes and others have said she is busy and that’s fine its your delivery that’s wrong

Again, if you object every time someone speaks to you directly, you are going to struggle. What I am trying to say - not trolling you - is what others are saying: your expectations of her are unrealistic. Try to be more patient and give people a chance?

Yes and that’s fair enough but given your track history its not surprising that it seems you are trying to antagonise people rather than give actual advice.

I don’t get you, OP. This is derailing but please tell me: what makes you think I try to antagonise people?

Search your username on reddit.

No, I am asking you.

ive just told you?

No, you haven’t.

Anyway, this is rather pointless. Good luck in September.

Oh but I will tell you that I took a very similar route into teaching, and it is PHENOMENALLY tough. You need a hide like a rhino. Luckily I have one.

I'm in the final week of my PGCE, so hopefully I can offer a bit of insight.

I think most mentors do the absolute best that they can, when it's one of many priorities they have to deal with and it may well not have been their choice to bring a student into the department. It almost definitely wasn't the mentor's choice to have you in for 4 days this term. I do also think (from what I've heard from others) there are mentors and teachers in school who can be unfair to trainees- just as there are also trainees who take the piss or have unrealistic expectations.

I do think OP, that in September when you start teaching classes, you will realise just how busy lunchtimes can be- it's not really a break for the teachers. Your mentor may have duty, be running a club, be running detentions, be preparing for the afternoon (or catching up on other work/admin), be in a meeting or dealing with all sorts of things that you aren't aware of. Also, you don't know what's happened during her day- there were a few days during the spring term where I chose to eat lunch alone because I just needed a bit of time to decompress on my own, rather than chatting to others.

If you're on schools direct, you'll have to deal with your mentor for the rest of the year, and unlike in a uni run PGCE, there's no real outside body who has a high concern for your welfare. Therefore, I think you have to make your peace with the fact your mentor is just "like that" and find a way to work with it.

There will hopefully be someone friendly in the department or school- maybe someone with a bit more time on their hands, who it may be better to go to with some of your questions. For example, as a science trainee, I had a few very helpful technicians who were my go tos for things like "where do I find this room?" and "how does the printer work?" type questions! There was also a lovely NQT in my department who'd just been through the same uni system as me, and she was great at helping me get my head around some of the uni requirements on the course- (I didn't ask, but she kindly offered).

I do think the mentor/mentee relationship can be quite tricky to get right from both sides- whilst they are there to support you, they're also there to challenge you, and ultimately they are the one who can say that you're not up to scratch and need to be put on "cause for concern" or whatever your ITT program calls it. So I do think whilst it can be a friendly relationship, you aren't usually friends.

I do think the first few days you spend in school are always a bit weird- it does get easier! When you're back in school next year, you may find there are other ITT students in school- making friends and being social with them might also help you feel less isolated too!

Jayblue
You make a range of really valid points here.
noble is also making a range of entirely valid points and it doesn't mean they would be awful to work with or they dislike trainees or they are the reason for a recruitment and retention crisis.
Forgetthecareerchange has some good things to be aware of in school direct. And they're probably things to consider with regards to ensuring you're getting the right amount of mentor meetings.

Schools at this time of year are even more hectic and pressurised than at other times. Everyone I know, across several schools, is saying this year is the worst it's ever been. In addition, none of us know what else is going on in the mentor's life to add to that. That said, there is no need for people to be deliberately rude, but that criticism works both ways.

With regard to the lunches:
The days of sitting in a staff room for almost an hour to eat lunch and chat are, for most people, long gone. As far as criticism of your lunch, the mentor could just be a member of the "food police" that seem to pop up anywhere, or, if you had something that could affect the pupils, like a heavy garlic smell or nuts in a nut-free environment, then the criticism might be justified.

In September, things will be better so don't carry these grudges over. Everyone is rested, you are unlikely to be the only new person, and even most of the other people will have new classes etc. You now know that you need a map of the school, so go and ask at the office for one. Also see if there is a staff handbook and a department handbook that you can read over the summer holidays so you are more aware of how systems work and where to find out what you need to know so you don't have to ask only your mentor.