Unhelpful school mentor?

[followthefairytalexx]

I am doing some experience days before my PGCE in September in the school I will be teaching in. I've only had 4 days of experience one last week and one this week. My mentor is nice but she makes me feel like I'm a burden. She doesn't eat lunch with me and doesn't show me how to do stuff and criticises everything I do like the lunch I bring or me not being able to find my way around the school yet which is crazy I've only been there 4 days! I am scared to ask her for help now, she seems like she doesn't want to be a mentor and I feel like a burden already. All of the staff make me feel like that.

Please don’t feel, as some have indicated here, that being ´shat on’ as a trainee teacher is somehow par for the course. It isn’t. Ignore the unfriendliness of your mentor and behave with professionalism. Don’t be afraid to ask for the things you need (e.g. lesson observations, regular mentor meetings, etc.) come September if these aren’t forthcoming. Involve the person responsible for student teachers in the school and your training provider if need be. I had one amazing mentor and one absolute bitch. It’s a tough job and nobody needs it to be made tougher by unnecessary unpleasantness. Good luck.

@noblegiraffe Yes but I havent asked to do the days they have asked me to come in as a requirement for the course. It doesnt matter if I start in September its not asif they will magically turn into nice helpful people in a couple of months now that I have the title as trainee.

Being shat on as a trainee isn’t par for the course but neither is your mentor having lunch with you.

In September it will be all timetabled and organised. There will be inductions into how the school works and there will be other trainees to hang out with and have lunch with. You’ll be part of the department then.

Thankyou @katherinebrooke97 I appreciate it.

Not sure why you’ve honed in on the lunch comment twice. As ive mentioned I used it as a sign of not being as welcoming as I would have hoped given the fact I dont know anyone. And yes I know that thats fine I just don’t think people need to be rude for no reason.

they have asked me to come in as a requirement for the course

So you have insufficient school experience, and the school has said that you need some before you start training?

It’s standard to expect trainees to have some school experience. Generally it’s not part of your training. I did a day in a totally random school.

I used it as a sign of not being as welcoming

But it’s a sign of totally unrealistic expectations.

I have a lot of primary experience and a couple of days of secondary already

I dont expect her to have lunch with me everyday Im saying on my second day it would be nice. Thats not a lot to ask.

Please don’t feel, as some have indicated here, that being ´shat on’ as a trainee teacher is somehow par for the course.

I said that was par for the course as a teacher, not a trainee. Slightly amazed I have to point his out: that the remark was tongue in cheek.

Of course she should be supported and most mentors spend huge amounts of unpaid and unrecognised time and effort with trainees to give back what they received.

But all I read into the OP is that she's coming in at a busy time of year and feels a bit in the way. I think that's normal, because teachers are usually swamped and because it's hard when you are new.

Thats not a lot to ask

Yeah, it is. When you get into teaching, you’ll learn.

The lunch thing is crazy. Where did she have her lunch?

We tend to congregate in the dept office for a couple of mins, ram a sandwich in and get on with more work. Not exactly a pleasurable shareable life experience.

How big is the school that you don't know the way round in 4 days?

When you say she criticises things you do, is it just that she's not overly positive?

@noblegiraffe nice and patronising thankyou

Could the mentor do a little more?Probably.
Are you equally being a bit precious? Yes.

Ultimately, you're there on work experience and you start your training in September. I would imagine the reason school have asked you to come in for a few days is so you can get a feel for the school and how things work, where things are etc. Or they've asked you to get more experience of secondary before the course starts (which is par for the course i'm afraid)

I career changed into teaching and based on your posts, you appear to have a touch of the attitude of other career changers who found the transfer difficult.

Trainees should never be accepting of being shat on, but they do need to be aware of the reality of school life and avoid being oversensitive or overcritical.

E.g. I can go 3 days without seeing some members of my department. Nobody is rude. People are busy. I had lunch with someone on work experience on 2 days of the week they were in, other days different colleagues were in the staff area. Unfortunately school life doesn't stop because there's someone in for a few days and once you're in school fully you'll realise that. Equally, your mentor will probably have lots of directed tasks to do in their gained time and so can't drop them to sit down and chat/go through everything/be on call all week. Whether you are being awkward and expecting too much or the mentor, well that could be either side. Equally, I've met a not insignificant number of trainees who seem to think that unless their mentor is fussing over them and dropping everything for them that they're being ignored and neglected . I'm afraid that there is a fair chance you're taking part and parcel of school life to be a sign people are rude and unhelpful.

I'd say you need to clarify the purpose of your time in school. Is it to familiarise yourself with the school? Is it to get to know the department? Is it to spend some more time shadowing classes? Is it formal induction?
Your course will set out the expectations for mentors and trainees, including meeting times, observations etc. That will kick in from september. They'll also be able to explain how and when they are free on top of that (and remember you're joining a department so support is more than judt the mentor). Clarity of expectations is key for an effective mentor/mentor relationships

Possibly mentor could be friendlier but as an fe teacher and ex school teacher I never take a lunch break. I would as a mentor do my best to make a potential trainee feel welcome but I would be unable to sit down and chat with them over a lunch break.

I appreciate your feedback but its not the lunch thing thats bothered me as much as criticising me for not knowing my way around the school etc which is unfair

Reading Nobles posts, I'm not surprised that the teaching profession is on its knees. Not exactly a welcoming environment and no one likes to feel a burden. I'm glad I'm not her mentee.

Honestly OP if I were you, I'd run screaming. I've had a job where I felt unwelcome and sticking at it was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I wish I'd said fuck you all on the first day and walked.

@thesnapandfartisinfallible yeah i see what you mean I'm hoping its just more of a growing pains thing and the more Im there the more I’ll get used to it. Nobody likes being the new person.

noble can I suggest that you reread your comments. The first comment you made on this thread “the school are doing you a favour”. What by asking their new trainee to come in to get a few days experience and then treating her like she’s a burden, criticising what she eats for lunch and refusing to her how to do things. If that’s doing her a favour I dread to think how they’d behave if they didn’t want her there.
Good luck with your PGCE OP fingers crossed that your mentor will treat you decently when you actually start in Sept.

followthefairytalexx
For me it would depend on what it is (E.g. someone asking where the nearest toilets are to the department block multiple times would be a bit irritating but someone not knowing how to get to a small admin office to process their IT access would be understandable and wrong for a mentor to be irritated) Equally, we give trainees a map of the site and there's maps up in every block so it's a little frustrating for situations where, for example, they arrive late to assembly in the main hall when it's shown clearly on the map, we've shown them round the school and they know what time they need to be there, or worse when they know they have an assembly and they sit in the staff room waiting for their mentor to take them to the room for their next lesson when it's in the same block and all the doors are numbered.
In those situations I'd be thinking 'come on, use your initiative, leave before the bell goes, use the map, ask a member of staff or student if you get close but aren't sure'.

In my experience as career changer trainee and as a mentor, there's sometimes a disconnect between expectations and that's where there can be tensions and writing off a department / mentor early on leads to the most drama and stress (that happened to a trainee on my course and then I had a trainee who decided I was horrible because I didn't sit down and plan lessons with them every day)

4 days is enough to know the bare bones of your way round.

What else has she criticised you for?

Trainees are a burden. I try not to make them feel like this, but they are. They suck your time and some require a lot of support above a normal teaching timetable. There's no extra pay or time given to being a mentor. Some mentors are shit, equally some trainees have unrealistic expectations. I'd imagine your mentor could be slightly kinder and you could be a bit less touchy.

It might be a case of being a keyboard warrior with Noble here. The teaching profession is all doom and gloom on MN but they are all still bitching after all these years and still working as teachers! It’s not as bad as they say. Noble is a maths teacher. She could get another job (part time I think I recall) but she chooses not to. So it’s ok really!!! If you hang on in there!!

I agree though: if it’s not ok, walk. Life is too short to be unhappy.

Life’s too short to work with people like Teschermaths too!! You can take these posts as a warning OP!

It was to a specific place far away that Id only been once before not somewhere id been loads over the time ive been there.

I think some of you think I'm clingy and hard work Im not I take initiative and don't ask for help unless I need it I'm just saying they could be nicer.