Talk to me if you're not comfortable financially but send your children to private schools...

[Foraminutethere]

We are not well off, we are not breadline, but that awkward limbo in the middle. We live rurally. Schools are appalling, particularly our catchment (it wasn't when we moved here)

Moving isn't an option.

There are two private schools, approx 15k a year here. But, I would have to work full time and I have other dc who need ferrying about, picking up etc. Little to no support.

We would then have to send one other child at the same time as eldest child so two in private at the same time.

Has anyone on here managed to send their children to a private school when not financially comfortable? Any tips?

Hh income is about 65k so not great. No expensive holidays for us.

I feel like I've failed them with no options but terrible schools and want to look at every possible option.

There was a really good thread on this about a year ago, I think, about a lady who had used every bursary and trick going to send her kids to public schools. It might be on AMA...?

What is AMA?

Ama = ask me anything

Are the schools really that bad, ALL schools where you live?

Would your kids not be topset with likeminded kids?

Doing tutoring yourself in the evening won't happen, the average teenager would very much not be up for that (unless you have extremely docile kids ). We tried (DH is a teacher) and failed

If schools are really dire, I would move. Not far away, just closer to a half decent one

We moved to be in catchment of good state schools, and have not regretted it. Private schools are ££££ and not always worth the money

I don't but I work in a private school where many parents stretch themselves to send their children. Our Head is more generous than advertised about bursaries and scholarships- is your DC academic?
I would apply for a place and contact school about financial support options, don't rule it out.

I agree 30k is a lot out of 65k. But I still don't think it's right, given what a lot of (most!) people in this country live on, to say 65k is "not great".

This, there was someone getting pelters on another thread the other day about only having £100 spends for a fortnight and then we have posts like this and people scraping private school fees from £100k income where they have no mortgage! Madness.

Anyway OP it sounds like you can’t afford it.

It really depends on what you mean by dire. If the state schools are OK academically, then you have plenty of money to provide the extras state schools can’t afford, like music and dance and sport and theatre trips and so on, and not be struggling. Nothing worse for a child than knowing that their parents are “making sacrifices” for them. Honestly.

@youbumder I explained that was bad phrasing. I meant the salary isn't great when considering private school, not overall.

Moving slightly further afield is possibly doable. Possibly. But it would mean a huge upheaval when we are talking about looking after parents.

Thanks 're the AMA, I'll hunt it down.

One might be top set - the other, not a chance unfortunately.

We're talking special measures and intervention dire.

One is slightly better - the problem is everyone wants to go there because of the issues with the others, so hugely over subscribed, and where we live is furthest away as the crow flies so no chance of entry.

After tax you would "only" have about £40K. With £30K on school fees, plus extras I just don't think that's doable. I would recommend spending the money on travel, enrichment & tutoring if needed. Also dire schools can change quite quickly as they sometimes get a lot of money & attention thrown at them.

Each school has an individual bursary scheme. The one our kids go to offers up to 50% off fees, depending on your income/expenditure. Another nearby only offers 10% Bright kids can also get a 50% scholarship at ours. Definitely worth asking...
p.s. on the subject of tutors a friend of ours has a chemistry tutor for her offspring for GCSE. They charge £40 an hour.

I don't think a household income with two working adults of £65k is that high OP so please stop apologising to posters looking for a fight...

It sounds tight for private school fees without knowing your other outgoings (mortgage especially)

Since its a couple of years off, why don't you try to save the equivalent of the school fees to see how it feels. If when the time comes, you felt you could manage then you'll be more confident and have circa 30k extra cushion to cover fees etc.

Also, definitely look into bursaries. I know the local private schools where I live have a max net household income cap of circa 80k (though at the level you get very little support). The net household income though is post mortgage payments. Both parents have to be working full time to qualify though.

Good luck finding the right solution.

we are looking at similar, our joint income (both working full time) is about the same as your DH's, but just the one child. We are eligible for a bursary based on salary but not once they look at our house value (house prices have shot up here - it's just a 3 bed terrace!).

We are saving now and hope to have a couple of years' fees in savings before we start, and then basically my salary would be for fees etc.

If we had more than one child, though, we couldn't do it.

My DS school will consider bursary applications for HH income of £63k or less. It’s worth calling the Bursar at the schools to find out what their criteria are. They may also say on the website.

This sounds very tight without a bursary or savings or higher income. What will you live on?

I would explore bursaries and also start living on the income you propose now so you can see how it feels (plus build up those savings).

I suppose the question will be that you have one opportunity to find that kind of capital (say 5x15kx2 for secondary school = £150k). You will need to think carefully whether that is best spent on secondary (in whole or part), housing deposits, pension or university. I’m all for prioritising education above most things but that will be money you never see again.

OP talks about 'we', so sounds like 2 adults earning.
If they each earn 32.5k, that means just short of £51k take home (says MSE calculator).

Leaves £21k after the £30k fees (assuming no multi-kid discounts)
£1750/month.
You tell us, OP. Could your family live on that budget? Could be tight with commuting & childcare costs.

No discount on fees at DD's posh school for being high ability. Ha!

Yes two of us earning- one 50 and one 15 (that would be me, small amount of hours!)

If I worked ft we would be 50 and 30. But then we have childcare costs, after school club etc to factor into that for the other two. After school club would be 75 a week, childcare god knows... I rely on goodwill at the moment and pay for one day with a child minder so that would ramp up.

I need a spreadsheet!

as you have other children and outgoings you might well be in line for a decent bursary, so I would make enquiries.

But if your other DC want to follow their sibling, I think you simply don't have enough in the pot.

Any change of GP assistance?

I think some people thought you were saying your dh's income was 65k when you were saying your household income was 65k. (Someone asked what your income was and mentioned living off one income)

"You'd still have over 30k left for bills and living expenses,"
I think its pretty safe to assume that the OP partner pays tax some will be at 40% if she doesn't work so no not over £30K left after paying fees.

Sorry didn't see you post about your working hours but still not loads left over.

Sorry if the income wasn't clear. Too much going on in my brain!

I'll be honest, I did mention it in passing to the GP to see if anything came loose... nothing though. I know the money is there and is being sat on but don't want them to feel they have to give it to us. They are only grandchildren on both sides. I was raised with next to nothing so I don't feel nice about asking, it feels bizarre.

The two older dc would have left by the time the younger dc would be going, but then we're talking university aren't we! The pp who mentioned that had a point there about affording that too. I think that is possibly to what the GP are holding out for rather than private school. Both GP have money but are not from money and probably are wondering why the hell we are even considering it.

well - they might, they might not. Education is important to lots of people, and if they can see that the state options are poor, and if they also appreciate that you're not going to move because of them, they probably would be more likely to wonder why you haven't asked already! They may well feel the money would be better spent now than getting swallowed up in inheritance tax later.

I would sound them out.

I had a phase of having 1 DS in a Private Prep with fees of £12k and a joint income of £65k. That phase lasted about 4 years.

It was doable because the £65k was earned between 2 earners so both had the tax free allowance. It brought in about £3,750 per month. Pensions had already gone out of both salaries. So £1k per month went on school fees and there was £2750 to live on. During that time, we probably still saved £400 per month too.

How was it possible? It worked because we had paid off the mortgage and lived fairly frugally although not excessively so. No new cars in that time period and no debts to be paid off. Probably had 3 UK holidays per year which would have totalled perhaps £1.5k or a bit less. Careful with bills and shopping. Did eat out but occasionally. Our boy did have music lessons, do clubs and go on trips, but not a ski trip or sports tour to Dubhai type trips. We were perfectly happy with our lifestyle at the time - it felt careful but not spartan by any means.

It wouldn't have worked if we had more than one child or a mortgage to pay too. The other thing that made it acceptable to us was a hefty pot of savings behind us, which meant we could draw on it if needed, although we never did. We also knew it would be for 4 years only.

Being in a strong financial position in terms of no or very low mortgage and having savings behind you, means that sometimes those on much lower incomes have more ability to pay feels than those with much higher salaries but who find lots draining away on mortgage, car loans and other large expenses.

It is all about calculating what you need to live - including all bills, pensions, leisure and something for emergencies...and then seeing if there's enough left for fees. You need a clear sense of your income and outgoings ....but lots of people don't seem to have that.

OP bear in mind that if the school is on special measures now its likely they're going to throw resources at it. So by the time your eldest gets there in 18mths the situation may have changed.