Starting secondary support thread 2

[PenguinPandas]

Support thread continued.

Glad school are starting to understand DS a bit better penguin DS1 cannot deal with home/school crossover at all and would rather chew his arm off then sit in a on a meeting. He's decided he is not going to tell DH and me his chosen options, as "it's nothing to do with you".

Have found out DS1's school also do GCSE English Literature in Yr10 and this is DS1's absolute worst subject. I just don't think kicking off with a fail is going to be helpful in motivating him do the GCSEs in Yr11.

It was a similar case with DS2 and the PE teachers witchend they just allegedly couldn't see how they were quite imposing and intimidating to a new Yr7.

DS2 came home quite chirpy and doesn't have too much homework.

DD has told me if DS gets more than her on the junior maths challenge I am not to tell her - she's still awaiting Intermediate results

She decided to test DS on last year's paper today and did it herself but she didn't allow him to check any answers. He was telling her of course I will go to the Olympiad, love the way there's no doubt in his mind. She says this year she will be brave enough to answer the last questions where you can lose marks if you get them wrong and said last year she wasn't. She got 107 and he got 105 one on this test they did but he was cross shouting I got less and you wouldn't let me check, this is all your fault DD. Then I pointed out 105 would be through to Olympiad and he was OK. Not sure they will get through on day though.

His year are supposed to being doing posters to win a place on an engineering work placement which would be really good for him on whose DNA would you replicate. He really wants the place but says they won't choose him and he doesn't agree with replicating DNA as its pointless plus he's too lazy to do a poster and won't accept help

Hope everyone has a good weekend. Had an academic call me about some work he wants to do together and he set his fire alarm off saying he had left some food on and he just carried on call. Can imagine DS doing that in a few years time, DH already does things like that and have to watch like a hawk in a thatched cottage though have fire station 100 metres away. I played a youtube song I get tuna for the cat and now DS is obsessed with it so we will be hearing that a lot I suspect.

DS and DD had a big fallout as DS stole the rabbit's new toy ball to play with it himself.

Told DS's maths teacher he's very excited about the junior maths challenge and they said he's in it. Told DS and he started jumping up and down saying I will go to the Olympiad. Then Mummy are there any maths competitions abroad I can also go to? I told him you need to be Einstein to do that, he said its OK I am Einstein, look them up please. Can't find anything but have mentioned it to teacher of young Einstein. He said the Olympiad is the Olympics of nerds and that's where I belong.

He also stole the rabbits new toy ball for himself and DD was so angry, she hit him. He said it was to stop the rabbits chewing it but looks like he chewed it himself. Lot of drama over a £2 ball. Apart from that she was really good this weekend helping decorate our old house for £10 an hour to pay back some of bunny costs.

I hope rabbit toy dramas are forgotten now penguins

DS2 has his first food tech lesson tomorrow. They were supposed to be making fruit salad, but due to staff shortages they won't be able to do practical tomorrow. I bet a theory lesson on making a fruit salad will be thrilling!

DS had a theory of the fruit salad lesson. He spoke very highly of it not Dobbins

Told DD DS had been saying he was Einstein and she said do you remember that time you were worried about him as he kept saying he was David Cameron I had tried to forget that, I think he's joking with these things but its hard to tell. We had about 6 months of David Cameron this, David Cameron that.

DD is now playing with the rabbit toy and has destroyed it, maturity levels are high in this house! Still hasn't got maths results. DD did say the male PE teacher has come into the girls changing room a couple of times when they are changing and seems to be looking at girls bottoms a lot. She says she's going to say something, sounds a bit worrying.

our school is not doing food tech at all.

dc had 5 pancakes this morning. poor teacher - all that stodgy energy

at David Cameron penguins. Both mine went through a phase of talking about Stephen Fry like he was a close personal friend. It's because of the game Big Little Planet or something like that that SF narrates.

I was glad DS2's food tech was cancelled as I ended up needing most of the tubs etc for DS1's food tech.

DS2 was a bloody nightmare this morning. Sat around as per usual, dashed out the door at the last possible minute to get the bus, only to return as he didn't have his tie and had no idea where it was. I couldn't find it either, he "thinks" he might have lost it yesterday. Scrabbled together some cash as I think the school shop sells spares, then had to drive him to a bus stop which meant getting DS3 & 4 ready as well. He got out, then started flapping about not having his phone. I may have shouted at him to go and get the bus.

Sorry DS2 was being a pain Dobbins. Relieved to hear its probably an autistic thing - looking last night it kept coming up as schizophrenia

DD forgot to shut one rabbit away - the tiny fluffy girl baby rabbit - I noticed as the cat started acting terrified, she was hiding in a corner behind a wardrobe quivering and peering out occasionally. This is the terrifying animal in question.

She's about the size of one hand.

I'm traumatised by such a ferocious looking animal

Ds has had a quiet week, but dd2 is home. 2nd migraine in two days, so I'm not sure if cluster migraines are starting again or she's staring a downward spiral into anxiety. Not good.

Ds had his last food tech lesson of the year as they only do half a year and then do textiles for the other half. He's not pleased as he far prefers cooking. I'm delighted as the hassle of providing ingredients is over until September now. He's very proud of his stir fry and told me all about it.

You and the cat both Witchend She's only just braved leaving the room six hours after scary rabbit was put back!

Sorry to hear about your DD - migraines are horrible and hope she's not anxious.

DD finally got her Intermediate Maths Challenge result - she got Gold and Kangaroo (76) so she's happy and apparently was 8th in the whole school out of the year 8 to 11s. She's not sure if she was top of year 8 but was top of her half year. She also reported the male PE teacher for entering the girls changing rooms whilst they are changing - happened twice to them. Unfortunately she was discussing this very loudly in the PE lesson and the PE teacher asked her if she was planning on reporting him. She said no but not exactly rocket science to work out her and three others did. PE teacher gave her a detention and some of other girls. I've sent an e-mail to her form tutor. Hopefully innocent but DD said another girl said he'ld walked in on them half dressed.

Poor cat Penguins!. I like rabbits from a distance, but was put off them as a pet when I looked after my friend's. hers were particularly feisty at feeding time! Well done to DD on her maths results, hope you can get the PE situation sorted, sounds v dodgy.

If you have a look at PDA (pathological demand avoidance) you may find some parts of that autistic profile resonate, particularly if DS goes through phases of being in character. It's a bit of a controversial dx which makes it one that's not that helpful at this point in time, and tbh I seem elements in mine, but not the whole thing. But I do think when there is extreme anxiety DS1 can resort to all kinds of things to avoid what is stressing him.

Sorry DD2 is suffering with migraines, hope she's feeling better soon witchend. There is some kind of 6 week system for tech subjects at DS2's school, so I don't have too many weeks of ingredient faff. Today's lesson was a test on health and safety in the kitchen. Thrilling stuff apparently.

I found DS2's tie. by the back door which is the obvious place . Apparently he was sent here and there in search of where to buy one, ran out of time as the bell went but no one commented on the lack of tie so he got away with it.

Thanks very much - interesting about PDA. He appears in fantasyland when being David Cameron or Einstein and happy, seems to have a worrying attraction to Trump too Though has gone into character in the past to avoid things like when he became a dog just woofing at the Headmistress aged 8 Have wondered about PDA before. Glad you found the tie.

DD just told her PE teacher gave her 3 detentions today after he confronted her about reporting him though quickly cancelled them all. She's at youth club now so is going to ask year 7 girls if he walks into their changing rooms. He's a long-term cover teacher from what DD said. She said they've worked a way to lock him out but not ideal. She says he keeps getting the girls to do this exercise where they go on all 4s and stick a leg out at the back and he watches their bottoms - she says she turns round. Could be in their imagination but have told school so they can check. 4 of them went to raise it but forgot half the things so I e-mailed them all, DD will be mad at me, but sounds dodgy.

The girl rabbit is really gentle and well behaved and lets DD cuddle her and carry her round, boy rabbit is a hyperactive PITA but DD loves him. I am really allergic to their hay so don't see them much, I prefer cats though am quite attached to fluffy girl rabbit. And at least they are easier than St Bernards which is what the original nagging was for and DD does take care of them and is paying for them in theory.

Got e-mails from Head and Safeguarding Lead saying PE teacher is being dealt with so sounds promising. DD said end of last lesson he got her to come in his office and was saying she needed to say the word pants which sounds odd too. He is Australian but . The year 7 girl told her he walks into their changing room as they are getting undressed too but said you should never grass (or whatever word old people don't use for that is!) but is a lot worse in the not overlooked changing room. So DD is off to find a year 7 who will grass! She's a girl on a mission. She did say they won't do anything as PE teachers are hard to find and could I e-mail various people and ask if they will be her PE teacher including her old Headmaster and her old PE teacher at grammar who she hated!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. DD is at a sleepover party and some work done on old house, otherwise a bit rainy here.

I hope the school investigate it properly Penguin

Quiet weekend here, DS2 maintaining he had no homework to do (apart from maths that he'd forgotten to pick up) then hastily completing some kind of worksheet this morning!

Not sure how much school are doing as he's still in school. DD does not want to go to lessons with him and says he's glaring at her. They've said they are taking action but think it must just be a warning as he's still there which is just going to make situation worse as he blames DD. He teaches her and DS for dance and PE though don't thin he's realised DS is her brother - DS looks similar but about 6 years younger despite just being 1 year younger.

DD is really mad with me. Last week I got told DD didn't get to school until 8.45am and they wanted to know what time she left home. Starts at 8.30am. Thought it a bit excessive for 15 mins but odd as she left home on time. Quizzed her at home and she said her and her friend arrived at school at 8.35am and rather than go into school then hung round outside for 10 mins as its embarrassing being late. Told school and they've given DD and friend a 30 minute detention and DD's friend, its her 3rd 30 minute detention this term so she gets 1.5 hours detention and apparently this is all my fault. I didn't expect them to get that but on other hand its not great behaviour and it will escalate into more stupid ideas with no consequences.

I have that with homework all the time Dobbins with both mine - 7.45am is the perfect time for starting homework due in that day. DD always says she says it doesn't count as homework unless its due in next day so you have to go what homework have you got that's due in tomorrow, what that's due in on Wed, etc etc. DS just suffers selective memory loss.

eurgh pinguin
it's such a difficult situation.
must be hard for you and your dd.

DS was due to have the PE teacher today and he says he wasn't there, it was a supply teacher so maybe DD was wrong about him being there today. Or maybe he was suspended today. Have to wait and see. They've told DD they can't accept any second hand evidence so has to be person who witnessed and they have to provide written statements. DD did one today. They have said to DD they are taking action but obviously they can't say what. Must be a first for DS to be more observant than DD.

In other news rabbits are learning to drive.

DD thinks he was just at a PE event, argh. She doesn't next have him until Thurs.

at the driving bun penguins. The school will have to be very careful about what they reveal about the investigations, I do hope it's all dealt with properly.

PE teacher definitely still at school so presumably just got warning. DS came back singing and dancing its raining, its raining soaking wet and just had a hyper 30 mins of singing and dancing and non-stop talking. DD did her detention at lunch and got told it was my fault again, DS told her it was her own fault so did I and think it got through. She only missed 30 mins in the cold and rain so was probably the better option.

Hope yours are all OK Dobbins Don't think I will be getting my car flower pots back anytime soon.

How is everyone?

PE teacher is still there but after an irate e-mail to school I got a call from Deputy Head - who thought it was partly drama but they have taken action - and DD says there's rumours he's leaving shortly. They have agreed any problems DD can leave and go to see Head of Safeguarding so we at least have a solution for us.

DD has done options form though not putting dance as its PE teacher but gone for triple science then 4 out of 8 business/arts options are business, engineering, design and tech and music. - they had to write post 16 plans and she wrote I am going to do a Maths or Engineering degree at Cambridge University and my A Levels will be Maths, Further Maths, Chemistry and Physics. I got her to put an ideally before the Cambridge but she was annoyed at me after for that, its an unnecessary addition!

Ed Psych was trying to get SENCO to send out a very helpful questionnaire asking teachers what DS gains from behaviour and cc'd me in. I was a bit blunt about that but its so unhelpful pre assessment to send out this is a naughty child, why questionnaires even without autism. Neutral observation forms great which is what we have now agreed.

Glad the Deputy called you, doesn't sound great they were pretty much dismissing it as drama. I hope DD doesn't encounter him again. Yikes at the Ed Psych questionnaire, is it possible he/she was trying to gauge how the teachers are interacting with him? The EP that assessed DS3 has more or less said it's all down to crap teaching, which is you know, really easy to solved(!)

DS2 not well today, sent him in told him to see how it went. Student support sent him away a couple of times, eventually called me at 2pm to come and get him. he'd completely lost his voice, feeling like crap etc. Acted surprised when I mentioned he has CFS? He's just reached 90% attendance which is probably why they were determined to keep him until the afternoon.