Why do people openly criticise decisions to send your kids to a private school?

[scotmum1977]

I sent my Son to a private school (Glasgow) last year for various reasons and it's working out really well. There is the cost but we just do without expensive holidays etc. I can't think of a better gift for my children than a good education. I was so surprised at how offended people get when they ask which school he attends. They think it's ok to criticise you openly and make bitchy comments here and there. Surely how you spend your own money is your own business. Anyone else have this experience?

@flossietoot @twattymctwatterson I have never denied Glasgow like any other city has social issues. @twattymctwatterson of course I'm not denying your experience if Glasgow. Your experience is exactly that but of course it's not typical of the entire city and everyone. Look at Glasgow Live. That represents nothing you have described at all but that's more my experience. . @flossietoot you widely claim on this and other posts "I'm Middle class" so perhaps your comparison of Glasgow is to something much more affluent - which i can't comment on. I have never said Glasgow doesn't have social issues however I , and several other netmum members did take offence at the sweeping generalisations of our city whicb had no credible stats to back it up. I'm afraid Kevin bridges(from paisley) , billy Connolly(left 40 years ago) and Mhairi Black (from paisley) do not match up. I accept you "are middle class" but don't like glasgow and even though your own kids went to private school you disagree I should be annoyed at people challenging me because mine are - even though there are asn challenges- which you also dismiss and say theypribably wouldn't get into a grammar school either because of this....

I can think of a few nice areas in the east twatty. Depending on your definition of nice of course. But I used to live in the east end and there are some decent places to live (schools not great though).

@zsazsajuju I'm living this. Where do you live? Let me clarify, things have improved in Glasgow, including the East End over the last 15 years in particular. However go to Balornock or Castlemilk or Possil or Milton or Shettleston and tell me what life is like there. 7 of the ten most deprived places in Scotland are in Glasgow. One in North Lanarkshire and one in Paisley. Poverty in the area is something I know a lot about

Or for that matter Govan or (old) Gorbals or the ungenerated bit of Parkhead or Provanmill, parts of Denniston... it's still a huge issue. Maybe you don't see it every day but thousands do

Thankyou @zsazsajuju someone actually from Glasgow who gets Utd changed since Billy Connolly shipyards! It's like saying Manchester is a dive because everyone is taking acid like the Happy Mondays!! (In the 90s)

@scotmum1977 but you really have denied it because you totally poo-pooed the stats quoted and laughed at the Irish descent thing, bizarrely in spite of living in the place that most of the Irish settled. I work in the city centre and drink in the west end often so I know that Glasgow is a diverse place. It's still (as a city) one of the most deprived places in the country with one of the lowest average life expectancies (because East pulls down the West). As for sectarianism the Scottish Government launched a bunch of laws in reaction to the behaviour of Old Firm fans. If you struggle to see this you clearly move in very different social circles to me. That doesn't mean it's not real and that you should rubbish facts when confronted by them.

You keep banging on about the shipyards in the 70s. Not one person has claimed that Glasgow is today the same as then. A previous poster has mentioned a documentary about Billy Connelly and you seem to have completely seized on it

@zsazsajuju yes you are absolutely right east Renfrewshire are beautiful places to live with really excellent state schools. If I could afford to live there I would- and could possibly benefit from the state schools. @flossietoot references to billy Connolly are really clutching at straws. I mean cmon I'm watching peeky blinders on Netflix but it doesn't mean all brummies are criminals with Irish descent ffs!!

@twattymctwatterson sort but I think you've lost the point if the thread. if you have something relevant to add that would be great x

@scotmum1977 are you drunk? Kevin Bridges is from Clydebank btw, not Paisley

@twattymctwatterson 7 of the ten most deprived places in Scotland are in Glasgow. One in North Lanarkshire and one in Paisley. Really? Do you not know those areas are not in Glasgow? But worrying for someone who apparently lived here all her life

So "just" give up those expensive holidays, new cars, large houses then? Only trouble is, if you don't have those in the first place you can't "just" make that "sacrifice". It isn't a "personal choice" for most people to use the state system, particularly if the cost of fees would be more than the household income.

@twattymctwatterson nope but you must be thinking paisley and north Lanarkshire are in Glasgow hahahaha what a laugh!

Sorry if I wasn't clear. 7 of the ten are in Glasgow. One is in North Lanarkshire and one in Paisley. That makes 9 in total. The 10th is in Aberdeen somewhere I can't remember off the top of my head.

@twattymctwatterson pmsl and if you're really from Glasgow mmmm you'll know what that means you have a lovely weekend now xx

good lord no I don't think that. Paisley and parts of North Lanarkshire ARE in greater Glasgow. So is Clydebank. You've actually embarrassed yourself with those last few posts. Come back and read them tomorrow when you've sobered up

My children went to a highly-regarded independent school. They were able to do so only because I was a teacher there, and paid only 25% of the fees as part of my employment package. (Even so,I found it challenging to keep up with the costs, as a single mother.) It's not just the smaller classes and the academic rigour that is attractive, but the enormous range of extra-curricular activities and clubs offered, because generally all teachers are contracted to offer at least one. So my children were able to study Latin and several other languages, but also participate in the chapel choir, learn fly-tying, do small-bore rifle shooting, be members of the school archaeological society, compulsory House music and House games.The school was able to identify and nurture each child's talents, and every child was discussed in the "three-weeklies" - whole staff meetings of several hours' duration to check on progress and head off problems at the pass. Ideally, of course EVERY child should be given those opportunities and be supported in that way, but how can it be done?

Omg. We have holiday cottage between Edinburgh and Glasgow. We are English. From this thread if we visit Glasgow will we live to make it back to our own moderately deprived area of Brum.

Froglet Glasgow is a friendly city with great shopping and nightlife. No one's claiming it's some kind of warzone. Come into the city centre and you'll have a great time

I do think you get used to the area you’re living in. We live in a wealthy rural area to me it looks pretty average lots of people I work with when hearing where I live go “it’s so posh there” or something similar.
Many years ago a friend from one of the most deprived areas in London went into a pub in another very deprived area he casually said to the bar man; “it’s a bit rough here isn’t it” the bar man shrugged and replied “no it’s alright really where do you live?” My friend replied “X”, In horror the bar man replied “X!!!!” I wouldn’t live there if you paid me a million £s it’s really tough round there!”

It’s very simple, by choosing private, you are saying the state system is not good enough for your child (but it is for theirs).

My dc don’t go private (I did) - we could stretch ourselves and send them but we live in an area of outstanding secondary schools. Not sure what I would do if we lived in an area with rubbish schools. In honesty I think I would have moved. I hate the snobbery, exclusivity and entitled attitude which comes with private school.

happygardening I’ve been in pubs where if you said that it would kick off ! Remember one pub (honestly can’t remember where it was) where I went to loo and slipped jewellery off and into pockets and came back quickly so dp wasn’t on own too long - not talking anything big or flashy but deffo got a vibe I should be sensible !

Not sure what I would do if we lived in an area with rubbish schools. In honesty I think I would have moved. I hate the snobbery, exclusivity and entitled attitude which comes with private school.

So you’d be saying that the state system is good enough for your child, but only if the school meets with your approval and you’ll spend your money to live near at least one of those.

Hello tombstoneteeth, quick question while they're all arguing about Glasgow. We're about to make exactly the same decision about whether to send DS to the school where I work, which sounds like a very similar school to yours. You sound very positive about it, but I just wondered if you had any regrets or negatives (apart from the cost of the 25% of fees) - any difficulties about being a staff kid, or being on the 'poorer' end of the scale (obviously relatively speaking), or anything else? We're very lucky to be in a position to make this decision, but it's still a hard one to actually make.

DreamOn yes that is sort of what that choice is saying, but that doesn't make it different from other choices. Some people live in horrendous neighbourhoods plagued by knife crime or in totally inadequate, squalid housing. If you can afford to live in a decent house in a decent neighbourhood you're choosing to spend your money in that way, because you're saying that you are not prepared to accept that standard of living for your own family. That doesn't mean you somehow despise the people who do live in those conditions, or think that youre a better person because you don't - it just means that you are lucky enough to have that choice and you have taken it.