CAF waitlist has moved and we now have a grammar place. Should we change schools or let it go?

[DevilThatWearsPrada]

My DD has been offered a place at Wallington High School for girls last week due to waitlist movement. This was totally unexpected now that we are month into year 7. She is at Sir William Perkins School in Chertsey and is very happily settled already.

However this would need a house move for us as we are in West London and the commute to Sutton on a daily basis is unthinkable. Added complexity is that me and DH need good links into Waterloo/east london/north london which is reliable..so we are not keen on Southern rail. Plus DD2 needs a primary school place.

Also if we say yes, DD needs to start within a week or so!!

Need your thoughts on our options ahead:

Option-1) take the place at WHSG. Move from west london to Sutton. The commute is reasonable for DD1 but difficult for me and DH. We don't know anyone that lives at Sutton or goes to this school.

Option-2) take the place at WHSG. Move from west london to Wimbledon. Commute easy for me and DH, good schools for DD2. However difficult 8 mile journey for DD1 (3 buses!) to grammar school.

Option-3) Considering the financial, emotional and other costs of moving stay put at SWPS and let go of WHSG.

Both schools have pros and cons, and both are academically good. However i am having a tough time comparing the two along with the other variables above.

We are going to visit the grammar tomorrow, but i would welcome your insights as we have only a couple of days to decide. Not sure if we can get more time or negotiate more time to join if its a yes? Having sleepless nights over this decision.

Is this school worth the move and the grief it may cause my DD who is happy at her current school? We can afford it but would benefit from saving the fees as we have another DD whose choices are yet to pan out.

Option 3 is a no brainier. Why put yourselves through all that. Plus she is happy where she is.

I agree it's a no brainer. Option 1 and 2 both sound horribly stressful, particularly the 8 mile commute

What was your original plan when you applied for this grammar school? Were you hoping to have moved by the start of the academic year?

Imagine the stress on your dd if her grammar school experience isn’t great. Or if family life goes through some rough patches “we moved here because of you” scenes.
I vote to stay put.

Original plan was if we'd got a place before start of year7, we could plan a move (after doing proper homework on the schools for both kids + best place to live etc.). However now that we have started in a school and DD is happy, a sudden unplanned move to a new location seems daunting. At the same time it looks like an 'opportunity' thats worth considering carefully rather than dismissing as it is a good school being offered.

Thank you for replying. You are echoing my feelings. I probably need to hear it from other mums for reassurance.

What would be the benefits of moving her from where she is?

Unless you are very unhappy with her current school, I think it would be madness to move. It also places a huge responsibility on her to be happy and successful at school. However much you might try to reassure her that it was your choice, she is likely to feel the burden of everyone’s daily commuting troubles, new house teething troubles, financial implications. Also 7 months into term when friendships are established is a very tricky time to move. It’s a lot for her to deal with unless there is a significant issue with her school now.

Leave her be. There's more to life than possible exam results. You're all happily settled, why change that for a school? Everything you do at home has far more impact than the school your child goes to.

Your dd is happy at a good school.

That is priceless.

You would be nuts to go for massive upheaval and risk all this for an unknown

Speaking as a new SWPS mum myself, I think SWPS is capable of getting the best out of the girls. I suspect if a child would get top grades at Wallington, she would at SWPS as well. I don't know the grammar school but hard to imagine what it could offer to justify the family upheaval, if fees aren't a decisive factor.

Then again, moving house costs a bundle, not to mention stamp duty...

Sounds completely mad to move. Stay put. Everyone settled and happy, less stress, all good.

No brainer for me too. No 3 of course.

Aside from cost, commute and all everyone said, aren’t you and the children happily settled in your area with friends, activities etc? Do youreally want to change all that?
Secondary schooland adolscence can be tough enough as it is without this all extra aggro.

She has parents that care so much about her education they are willing to consider a huge upheaval. She goes to a well regarded school, has friends and is very bright.
All these things are a recipe for success already I wouldn't tip the barrel.

Nice to get the offer but there might be another child unhappy at their school who mightbrrally need that place...
I had to give up a similarly good place in a school and it helped to think like that!

Option 3 without question.

Wimbledon to WHSG would be an awful commute for anyone. I can't think of anyone in the area who is doing that journey. Nonsuch maybe but not WHSG.

Stay put!

Sit tight. Your DD being settled and happy, as she is now, is not a given at the new school.

Then there's all the money and upheaval of moving. What if you don't like Sutton?

Stay put. No question.

Stay put definately. I would disagree though that it is an awful commute from Wimbledon though - lots of children do it and it isn't that hard, it is one bus to Morden and one out again or a tram and a bus.

Stay put, absolutely

She's happy, it works for you all

Seems an awful lot of upheaval for a school you cannot be sure will work out for her. Am puzzled as to why you stayed on the waiting list.

I also know girls travelling from Wimbledon to WHSG. It's a tram to Mitcham Junction and then a bus straight to the school. I loved WHSG and we're currently waiting for my daughter's stage 2 results, but in your situation I wouldn't move. It's too much upheaval for the whole family. It would only be worth it if she was currently at a terrible school.

Thank you for your replies. We are on the WL because schools continue to hold the list for the academic year unless you ask them to remove you. We never bothered and we had no hopes of getting in either.

Thank you to those who have confirmed the commute from Wimbledon. That's positive news for us.

We've visited the school and left our DD to consider whether or not she likes the school at all. Taking it one step at a time. We have the week to decide. Feels head v/s heart at the moment.

Goodness. Don't do it if she's happy in a good school. The other one is just a school,not a mystical magical place because it's a grammar

I'd also be inclined to say leave her if she's happy but only if you can afford it. Obviously if you move her you'll save a lot in school fees but that may just get swallowed up in stamp duty. In terms of location Clapham Junction or Balham may be another places to consider.

*other