CAF waitlist has moved and we now have a grammar place. Should we change schools or let it go?

[DevilThatWearsPrada]

My DD has been offered a place at Wallington High School for girls last week due to waitlist movement. This was totally unexpected now that we are month into year 7. She is at Sir William Perkins School in Chertsey and is very happily settled already.

However this would need a house move for us as we are in West London and the commute to Sutton on a daily basis is unthinkable. Added complexity is that me and DH need good links into Waterloo/east london/north london which is reliable..so we are not keen on Southern rail. Plus DD2 needs a primary school place.

Also if we say yes, DD needs to start within a week or so!!

Need your thoughts on our options ahead:

Option-1) take the place at WHSG. Move from west london to Sutton. The commute is reasonable for DD1 but difficult for me and DH. We don't know anyone that lives at Sutton or goes to this school.

Option-2) take the place at WHSG. Move from west london to Wimbledon. Commute easy for me and DH, good schools for DD2. However difficult 8 mile journey for DD1 (3 buses!) to grammar school.

Option-3) Considering the financial, emotional and other costs of moving stay put at SWPS and let go of WHSG.

Both schools have pros and cons, and both are academically good. However i am having a tough time comparing the two along with the other variables above.

We are going to visit the grammar tomorrow, but i would welcome your insights as we have only a couple of days to decide. Not sure if we can get more time or negotiate more time to join if its a yes? Having sleepless nights over this decision.

Is this school worth the move and the grief it may cause my DD who is happy at her current school? We can afford it but would benefit from saving the fees as we have another DD whose choices are yet to pan out.

I don't think they are paying school fees?

Sir Williams Perkins is a private school I think?

We are currently in a few-paying school so yes it would save money. That's a benefit but not our key driver. We have let go of another grammar place earlier. Having the best school we can get for DD is our key concern.

Oops, sorry I misunderstood! Maybe you should have taken yourself off the waiting list, OP, would have saved any dilemmas

I think that does change the equation actually - the fact that she is in a fee paying school now so you will save 60k by moving, plus you have another dd to consider.

Because of that I would actually move into the 'catchment area' between Nonsuch and Wallington and suck up the commute a bit for a few years otherwise you are just going to be in the same situation in Wimbledon in a few years time as the comps there aren't spectacular and the score for OOC is so much higher..

If your dd is settled has friends at the current school and doesn't want or need to move then all the money saved won't help if she becomes unhappy....surely it s the school where she is happy settled and learning....

An update to all your kind folks who replied - DD was keen to take up the place at the grammar school and we've decided to support her. She's very happy at the new school & happy with her decision. Thanks a lot to all of you who gave advice.

Glad to hear she is settling well! You had a tough dilemma. Have the two schools felt very different to you? We will possibly have a state grammar vs private school dilemma next March so very curious to hear how it went.

@Sweetnhappy1 yes we do find the schools to be different. We got food advice from those who've walked this path before that there is no magic answer whether one is better than the other (I.e. grammar vs private), rather it's better to compare the 2 schools in question. In our situation we did find the grammar better on academics, inclusiveness, SEN policy, homework etc. They are extraordinarily multi-racial too. The private was better at sport, music, rowing and drama but was not as inclusive or multi cultural. Also it has longer days and huge amount of homework.

I have to add that previously we had a place at a mixed grammar which we had refused in favour of the private as we felt that the private one was the better suited out of the two.

I think it's best to compare the 2 schools based on visits and instinct rather than go with a general view of state/grammar/private if possible.

I read the first page of the thread and was about to come on and say 'hang on - crucial but of info missing, the current school is fee paying', but then saw someone else raised it. Even if it wasn't the key factor in the decision, it was a factor and the saving of fees would help facilitate any move, which no doubt lots of people rejected not just because of the inconvenience but the cost too.

Anyway, decision has been made.

There are always these kind of threads within the first term of Yr7 with people having dilemmas about whether to take a waiting list place after starting. I would say that less than a term into a new school isn't long at all in what will amount to a 21 term school career, so if you would have accepted a place from the waiting list back in May or June, then the reasons you would have taken it probably will stand. Unless there is a significant journey involved (which is important and avoided unless an alternative school is really very significantly better) then it is usually easier than people imagine for children to slot into a new school, especially when it is early in the year - few people will ever remember they were ever a 'new girl'. Things are different when big lifestyle changes are required to make the move, which impact on other siblings and everyone in a family, such as the need to all move house, uproot from a community and siblings to also start new schools. On that basis any new school needs to be absolutely brilliant and the existing one totally shocking to justify it. In this case, I can't see that the new school warrants the move to be honest as the existing one was good and any improvement is pretty marginal and nit worth the massive cost in all kinds of ways for the family. With some school choices and waiting list places, getting the offer in good time to make the lifestyle changes in a timely fashion to make it workable is vital for accepting the offer - this is particularly the case when moving house is required or if another child will need to move school. It's ine thing to accept an offer at a school in March and then have until Seltember to move and find alternative schools for siblings, but quite another to receive an offer in November and have to take it up in Novemeber and find an alternative school for siblings with little or no time. On this basis, when 2 schools are far apart, I'd say that if you dont get an offer by a certain specified time (sometime in the spring probably) then it's time to switch off from the possibility of that school and fully commit in your mind to the school you have, and with the existing offer being great that shouldn't be too difficult. You either withdraw from the waiting C list or if you do so, do it knowing that if an offer emerges you will turn it down, because the acceptable timeframe window has passed. No doubt the is causes a little bit of sadness/regret but hopefully only very little for a brief moment because you know you have a good option, the suitable timeframe window has passed and that the costs of accepting the new offer are just too great. And you get on and do well at the great school you're already at.

Anyway, that's just the way I see theses things and clearly isn't what Op has chosen to do.....and good luck to all her family with their new adventure. I hope it all turns out to be worth it. Sometimes, all the rationalising in the world doesn't lead to you choosing the most rationale option does it......and for whatever reason you just really want the other one and decide to go with it. You have to make a choice and go with it, because in the end, we never know what the outcomes of tha alternative would have been anyway.

We did this OP in September, albeit from a comprehensive not a private school. After 3 days at the comp DS initially said he didn’t want to move. We gave him the weekend to think about it. He was partially swung by the fact that the grammar has lockers and the comp doesn’t! He absolutely does not regret moving to the grammar now. He has a 50 minute journey as opposed to a 20 minute one but everything else stays the same. It’s definitely been the right thing for us, although finances were not a factor.

JuliaRobbers, could you elaborate on how the academics are better at the grammar over the indie?