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Secondary education

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How strict are you with your Year 7?

61 replies

Goldilocks3Bears · 02/10/2018 13:44

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has a Y7 who is now walking to/from school, with a phone, and making loads of new friends and joining in school clubs. Don’t get me started on the cost of lunches and asking for money daily for snacks.

How strict are you in terms of them roaming, what they spend, phone use etc?

OP posts:
woolleybear · 05/10/2018 14:10

My Year 7 dd has a new phone, birthday present second week of term. I allowed her whatsapp but school have banned it so she uses text for her friends and just whatsapp for sending photos to myself and her dad. She has no ther social media. She has never before had friends to message after school and I have already had to chat to her twice about appropriate messaging (she is though under assessment for ASD and doesn't always understand social nuances).

She has managed to get herself home on the bus for the first time this week but has yet to get to the stage of wanting to meet friends elsewhere.

She likes taking her lunch with her as it means you can eat outside, she may have more hot meals as the winter approaches.

She is relatively good at self regulating screen time, bedtime is a struggle but we generally try and get it to 9pm.

Rebecca899 · 06/10/2018 13:12

My yr 7 has no phone yet but thinking to get her one for her 12th birthday in december and we pay for school lunch . She goes to bed at 9pm

Yolande7 · 06/10/2018 20:50

Mine can spend £2.20 for lunch which is enough for either a hot meal or a sandwich and something else. If they buy sweets, they don't get any from me. They mostly go to clubs at lunch anyway. They have £5 emergency money.

One is on Whatsapp, the other has a very old phone, but I don't like her spending half an hour a day on it, so I have just taken it away. No other social media allowed. To me, their phone really is for emergencies and staying in touch with me. We pay £5/month for their imobile contracts.

We aim at 8.30pm (they have to get up at 6.30am) for lights out, even at the weekends.

Qustodio is a fairly good monitoring app.

Starlight345 · 06/10/2018 21:22

My Ds had WhatsApp from year 6 . He didn’t take phone to school then so generally could monitor before he had it with him all day. I still check it he knows this however if he doesn’t want me to know what has been said calls 🙄. This I don’t mind . He can have privacy . I concern myself with what is written down and potentially screen shot. He has asked for snap chat , instagram I have said no.

He walks 10 minutes to school with friends, sometimes goes to the park after school. He has to contact me first unless pre arranged.

His bedtime was 9 , I have put it back to 8.30 ish except scouts night as he is so tired.

Lunch he was taking £3.50 and I was topping it up as needed, and sending snacks but he got fed up of the queues and takes packed lunch.

user149799568 · 08/10/2018 12:22

Sorry for the diversion, but what's the difference between a WhatsApp group and an iMessage group? Besides that iMessage is restricted to Apple devices, of course.

Glaciferous · 08/10/2018 21:59

Nothing. iMesage is restricted to Apple devices so children with Android phones can't join. I think that is it. This is why I have allowed my child to get WhatsApp. Firstly, I am not about to buy her a £££ apple device which has no useful functionality over Android and second I want her to be able to talk to her peers.

Pooleschoolschoice · 08/10/2018 22:08

I dont get why youd limit to imessage if yhat means you can only message some friends.

My phone isnt apple so I'm not about to buy apple just so kid can message other kids on apple!

myron · 09/10/2018 09:13

YR7 DD got an iphone SE during the last week of YR6 on giff gaff £7.50 pm. Travels on school bus alongside her older DS. I pay for school lunches and I give her £20 pcm pocket money. Not allowing Whatsapp, Snapchat/Instagram. YR10 DS has class/year/subject group chats on them but more hassle than it's worth for YR7 wrt potential social media beef imo. They have a longer school day and get in through the door at 5:45pm if no extra curriculars. Doesn't leave huge amounts of time after tea & hw before bedtime. DD loves her sleep and takes herself to bed between 8:30 - 9pm with alarm for 6:30 am.

cheminotte · 09/10/2018 12:45

DS walks to school about 10 mins away.
No phones allowed on at school so his stays at home for the moment as I don’t think he needs it for those 20 mins per day.
Takes a packed lunch and also buys snacks at school. Spent £10 in last two weeks mostly on snacks (pizza at break, biscuits, cake) rather than main meals. I have said no drinks allowed as just full of sugar and no nutritional benefit at all.
We have quostodio on his phone. The free version limits how many hours and times of day but that’s enough for the moment.
Currently no requests to go anywhere after school / at weekends.

bagsofbats · 09/10/2018 13:09

my dd cycles to and fro school on bike route (30-40 mins), bed time 8 lights out 8:30, no devices upstairs at any time. old phone with what's app that I/her dad regularly check and a £5 giff gaff monthly package. £15 on her dinner money account at the start of the week and she takes a cereal bar with her for a snack.

mrsm43s · 09/10/2018 14:06

I have a Yr8 and a Yr9, but not much has changed since Yr7

Lunches - school has compulsory school lunches which are invoiced termly (set cost) on the fee bill - so no issues there. Any snacks etc come out of their pocket money.

Pocket money - £20pm in start of yr 7, goes up £5 per month on each birthday. They have a bank account and bank card, and manage their own money, but I have weekly balance texts sent to me (NatWest). This covers snacks/socialising etc. We still pay for cards/presents for friends parties, clubs, phone and gym membership. They get extra money for holidays (usually an extra £50 in the long summer holiday, and an extra £25 for shorter holidays) to reflect they need more money for activities then. They also get fairly generous birthday / Xmas money from family and friends, but we hold that in a separate account and transfer as needed so they don't blow it all at once! They don't have to do chores for their pocket money, but are absolutely expected to keep their rooms broadly tidy and help our around the house as needed.

They walk to school and back (2 miles each way). They don't tend to socialise much in the week beyond sports/clubs due to time restrictions. They do socialise pretty much every weekend - allowed to walk to our small town to go to the shops/for a Costa/for a meal, or walk to the leisure centre for swim or gym. Cinema/Bowling etc are in a town much further away, so we'd generally take them and pick them up. Eldest has gone on the train with friends to bigger town, but that's rare, and is subject to restrictions (tracker on phone switched on-ring we when arrived, ring when catching the train home etc).

Phone contract is £7.50 p/m and paid by us. Plenty of mins and texts,but never enough data for them! (around 1G)

Allowed Instagram, but I have logins and regularly check in. DD also has Snapchat. Increasingly since yr 7 social events have be organised via social media, and by Yr 9 it's pretty much the only way that anything is organised, including birthday parties etc. Children who don't have access to social media will miss out significantly on social events. Might just be OK in Yr7 without it at a push. IMO it's better to teach them to use it responsibly (and set limits such as needing their password etc) than to not allow it. Most children that are banned from it just have accounts that they set up secretly and hide from their parents, and are then are using it completely unmonitored. It's a big thing, and hugely hard to police, but better to allow it and manage it than to ban it IMO.

Phones and ipads downstairs overnight. Internet switches off at 8.30 pm and they are in bed 9/9.30 ish during the week, probably around 10 at weekends. (in Yr 7 internet was off at 8, bed 8.30/9).

They manage their own homework, but I have a zero tolerance policy on it not being done, or not being done to their best capabilities. DD is good at this, but DS does need the odd reminder. The school is strict on homework and good at communication, so we absolutely know if there are any problems with homework.

DH and I are both of the work hard, play hard mentality and we encourage that in our children too.

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