How strict are you with your Year 7?

[Goldilocks3Bears]

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has a Y7 who is now walking to/from school, with a phone, and making loads of new friends and joining in school clubs. Don’t get me started on the cost of lunches and asking for money daily for snacks.

How strict are you in terms of them roaming, what they spend, phone use etc?

Social media worries me and I find it hard that others all seem to have it.

Interesting with the bed times. My 10 year old is avout to start guides and both packs near us finish at 9pm!!!

No social media here at the moment, I know several already had WhatsApp in primary and Snapchat as well but we try our best to go against it.

Saying that, it seems to be the method to communicate so if it comes to the point that DD is left out we have to consider it.

Luckily the school is teaching the official line of "legal age of 13" so we are lucky in this respect.

Ds walks to and from school but it’s only 15 minutes . He has a mobile but knows I check it regularly. He has snapchat, only had friends on it.

His lunch money is on a prepaid card and he gets some change for a snack on way home. If he was doing something with a friend in his free time eg swimming / cinema etc we’d pay.

He doesn’t go far without us. He’s allowed to the local supermarket and the park and sports centre but they’re all 5 minutes away. He has to stay in touch and isn’t allowed after dark (or after 830 in summer).

He’s in bed about 915/30 during the week because he usually has football until 8/830.

My year 7 has a phone similar to other contracts which we pay. She gets £15 a month pocket money on nimbl card in exchange for daily chores. She doesn't often go to town but she can if she likes. She not gone by herself in the bus yet. She has a key and gets herself to school on my work days and after school she texts my sister (who is my childcare for other 2) to tell her if she's going home or to a friend's house.

She is allowed out til 5.30 as that's when we eat (I have a 4 yr old) I leave her to get on with hw but I check up online what she should be doing and she shows it to me after.

We live 10 mins from big supermarket so she's allowed anywhere around the estate within the 2 main roads including the supermarket.

I usually stop phones and tablets by 8pm and they (her and 9 year old) either watch a programme or read after that. Weekdays she's in bed with lights out by 8.30. She's s big sleeper!!! Weekends 9.30 latest. She is rubbish on sleepovers lol

DD is also year 7.
She is driven to and from school as it's quite a distance along main roads.
She has a £10 unlimited calls/texts and 4GB minutes deal from Superdrug (on a very crappy old phone) and gets money as and when (usually amounts to £10 every week and a half) for hot chocolate and snacks (I was never given money for the tuck shop so know how crap that is).
She has now started washing up, hanging washing on the line and bringing it in. She puts her own washing away and has to keep her room moderately neat. She also has to do her homework (I can check as it's all done online). All her clubs are luckily free.
She has yet to venture anywhere with friends at a weekend, has never asked to thank Christ! (I'm not looking forward to that, can you tell?)

Phone has high restrictions and she has no clue about that pin or even what her Apple password is.
No social media yet and no whatsapp. She has unlimited texts so doesn’t need WhatsApp. Group chat on text does the same thing except it is easier to block people.

I do think there is a naivety about WhatsApp and not enough parents educate themselves on apps before allowing access.

We haven’t been asked about social media yet but I really don’t like the
‘They’ll be ostracised for not having it’ reasoning. You wouldn’t say this about allowing them drugs and social media does have some of the same addictive and mentally harming effects.

I am OK with WhatsApp as it is basically just text messaging with the facility to have a group chat. DD had it most of last year. At one point the messages got a bit OTT on the group chats so I told her no more groups but I have allowed two this year - one for keeping in touch with old primary school friends (they have arranged to meet up at the park etc) and one for her current class (largely homework chat), both of which serve a useful purpose. We've not had any issues with too many messages so far this year - think they are all too busy to be messaging all the time!

I don't see any useful purpose for Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook etc so she won't be getting any of those until she is much older, age limits or not.

we live in a small rural town so I'm quite relaxed about dd roaming more or less freely. My rules are she has to have her phone about her person and also answer the bloody thing ( only source of tension at the moment) And I prefer her to be in before dark as there are older teens getting up to nefarious activities on the park.

She occasionally goes into town at weekends for lunch with her friends in Costa and the like (not much choice here!)

Bed time is 9pm as it has been for ages.

YY to other posters saying that different families and different rules starts to cause a bit of difficulty. Dd's best friend doesn't have as much freedom as her and I can see the relationship beginning to drift a bit which is a shame.

The free image and emoji sending on whatsapp is a huge benefit. otherwise I can't see how its different to text.

We don't allow snapchat however. I like to occasionally check what they are saying and don't like the fact that the evidence trail disappears...

interesting to read all of this. Y7 DD walks a mile to school and back, usually with a friend, though sometimes alone. Expected to (and does) text if staying after school or hanging around with friends etc.
Been into town with friends a few times.
Phone is £10 a month, paid by me, unlimited calls and texts, not much data. She has WhatsApp. Did my research about it, especially in the light of the recent age increase, and decided I was happy with it. The photosharing and ability to keep in touch with friends and relatives overseas were the deciding factors for me. No big group chats as yet though.
We have a no-tech day at home once a week - she is allowed to briefly check and respond to messages (e.g. about homework/meeting for school tomorrow) on those days, but not to spend the usual ages messaging 'Lol' 'LOLLOL' at her friends.
Bed at 8.30ish, lights out at 9. So far, so good, we are all enjoying this stage for now...

Sounds silly, but how do you establish parental controls to limit internet access and installation of new apps?
I tried to limit settings and internet use on DD new phone (low range model), but could not. Which apps are good for parental control to limit settings (mobile data) and websites, to limit time allowed etc?

The new iPhone software upgrade has settings to show usage and set limits.

My sprog has a children’s user profile set up and is on my family sharing for apps so I have to approve all downloads.

Pro tip for divorced parents: you can hide purchased apps so they don’t show in the downloads on your child’s phone. That way your nosy fucker of an ex doesn’t know your business.

No WhatsApp. In year 6 at dd's primary some shockingly vicious bullying took place via WhatsApp and dd was one of only three girls in the class who weren't involved. There were very strenuous letters sent home pointing out that primary school children shouldn't even be on it and dd's teacher told me that WhatsApp is currently the bane of her life as a teacher.

School is quite far so I take and pick up and things haven't changed that much tbh. She has packed lunches but also money on her card to get a drink or snack but she's been too nervous as yet.

carol same here. Last year's year 6 raised hell with WhatsApp bullying. DS doesn't have it and wasn't involved. He couldn't even tell me who was involved.
He did then appreciate that he was able to side step the whole problem and mum was right about not having a smart phone.

families.google.com/families is useful for anyone on Android.

Mine is year 8 but interesting to read this thread.

She has a smartphone with WhatsApp but no Facebook Instagram twitter etc. She is on payg so WhatsApp is her main form of texting friends, and me. She has WiFi at school and home and if elsewhere rarely uses her phone. The group things is worth watching on WhatsApp, she got added to some huge groups. I check her phone and told her if she doesn't know the people in the group she should leave it. Also we have discussed being super careful what you send. There has do far been nothing untoward on her WhatsApp groups they are mostly total nonsense.

I have an app called Screen Time which covers all my kids tablets and phones and means I can restrict the apps they use, see what they used for how long and impose a daily limit and bedtime rules eg nothing works after 9pm. She has a 1 hour limit on each of phone and tablet on weekdays, 2 hours on weekends but rarely uses the phone on weekends.

She gets a train to school and walks 15 minutes at each end of the train ride, mostly with friends. She's quite busy with extracurricular activities but ocassionally goes to a friend's house after school. Otherwise rarely goes out on her own.

She mostly takes packed lunches to school but has money in her canteen card which I can monitor what she buys.

She wakes up before her alarm at 6.15 most mornings so I've stopped worrying about her bedtime. Usually she's reading from 9 and lights off at about 10.

Y7 boy. He's walked home from school since Y5 (30 mins) so he has less walking now. He has had a phone for some time and so long as I am allowed to access it from tine to time there are no restrictions. His contract is unlimited but he is really careful with it.

He has instagram. I don't limit screen time or gaming but he is pretty good at self regulating. I imagine if he wasn't I'd put in some rules.

He hasn't shown any interest in going out at weekends and is happy to mooch about with me. He has quite a bit of freedom anyway as we live in a fairly urban area with a low crime rate. He will take himself off to the barber, for example, when he decides he needs a hair cut.

He is v independent and is v sensible. He left school last year without a coat and faced with torrential rain decided to get the bus home (he'd never used it before) using the money he had been stashing away from the £2 I used to give him daily for the walk home. when I expressed surprise that he had cash he told me he decided ages ago to spend half and save half!

His younger brother, on the other hand, needs lots of rules and restrictions. I can't see him having the same freedom when he is in Y7 as he just wouldn't cope.

@cakesandtea Look at the Screen Time app, it's great. It's not free but well worth it if you ask me. Unlimited devices covered, you can set it that you have to approve any apps installed, or that it will inform you when a new app is installed, you can set bedtimes and other times when the phone won't work (eg dinner time) you can set a daily limit (and easily allow more time if needed), you can set chores that win them more time. It's all controlled from your phone so apart from installing it in the first place you don't have to actually physically take their phone at all. You can also exempt particular apps from the restrictions so they can still text or phone you even if their time is up for example. My daughter's tablet is set that she can still use the Kindle app for reading even when her daily limit for other apps is up. It will also inform you if the child attempts to access the settings by putting in the password.

Minimum age for WhatsApp is 16. It’s in their terms and conditions of use.

I would just point out as a secondary teacher that some of the most adorable and sensible and thoughtful kids have done the most horrible unpleasant things on social media. Quite surprising really.

The big no on WhatsApp for me is picture sharing.

Dd can’t send picture messages as they cost extra on WhatsApp are free.

Group chats on WhatsApp can be huge and there is no control over who then has your telephone number.

One of my scouts left his phone at the end of the meeting, mum collected it 12 hrs later the next morning and he’d had over 400 messages on WhatsApp in that time.

That is not good for anyone’s mental health

My kid barely reads the WhatsApp messages and as soon as it turns nasty, leaves the group.

The problem is that unless they're on whatsapp they can send pictures by text anyway (and do group messages) but you have to pay for them (and emojis).

DD's primary school class were all on Whatsapp in Year 6. We were very surprised at this. She's been asking for it for ages but her phone is too old and it won't install. I think there is a group for her Year 7 class. She has found an imessaging group now - she was feeling left out because all the communication was on Whatsapp and no-one was texting her.

She has to come home after school and will either go to a friend's house or they'll come to ours.
Any apps or games she wants to download have to be approved by DH because her account is linked to his.
No electronics in the bedroom at night. And I might be looking at the Screentime app to control how much time she's spending on things.

Ah this is an interesting thread. I’ve allowed my Y7 to have WhatsApp and Instagram. Her Instagram account is linked to mine so I get any notifications/direct messages ping on my phone and I can check her search history. That’s the deal until she’s 13.

I check her Whatsapp messages with her too, it had actually been very useful and we’ve had a few good chats about how you can’t tell the tone of a written message, the pitfalls of group messages etc. Since I’ve allowed her to have them she’s actually hardly used them which I’m very happy with.

Lunch money is a different problem though! She’s burning through money! The school don’t have prices on anything apparently which really doesn’t help.