Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Urgent help needed with school admission/appeal etc

50 replies

friendlyflicka · 06/09/2018 20:28

I don't want to go into too much detail but:

I am a sole parent for 2 daughters both with diagnosed anxiety disorder. They have had a difficult past - alcoholic father from whom I am now divorced, neither child wants to see him. We have had a summer of harassment and threats with the police involved.

Last year the 15 year old became too anxious to attend her school in year 10. She was treated by CAMHS and after much difficulty (because of her low attendance figures) and much mention of the Equalities Act, got her a place at a local Catholic school. She has flourished now full time attendance and very happy. But as a result of our domestic situation and her anxiety, I am driving her too and from school everyday. The only way she can attend.

My younger daughter was at the feeder school for secondary now attended by my older daughter. All her friends - really all her friends - got into this school because they are baptised. My daughter didn't.
We went to appeal with evidence from her counsellor - very experienced student counsellor - stating that she needed to be with her peers and sister. There was more evidence than this. I thought it was well presented. The appeal panel agreed that the prejudice to my daughter greater etc, but there were stronger cases (3) who were given places.

I tried to present this positively to my daughter. Hard because she was allocated a place at the huge school that handled my other daughter's problems very badly. I also rung up diocese who said that a second appeal could be agreed if the situation had changed significantly, at the discretion of the governors.

Our domestic situation had grown more threatening, with the police risk assessing us as at immediate risk from children's father. My daughter's mental health had further deteriorated and she was referred to CAMHS.

I gave evidence to school governors. They are going to decide whether they can sanction a second appeal on Tuesday. I have given more medical evidence and police risk assessments and incident reports.

I am still having to drive older daughter to school and younger daughter is scared to get bus. I really am totally on my own and both children highly highly anxious. I have bipolar disorder, medicated and treated and under community mental health team.

My younger daughter has totally crumbled on her second day at huge new school - she doesn't know anyone - it really is a big school and she is a very shy girl. I have contacted year head etc and also contacted doctor. She is in tears and cannot sleep, really in a state.

I do not know what to do or if there is anyone I can contact to help me sort out this mess. I know I should just wait to see if second appeal will be held. But I don't know how to get both children in different directions to schools.

I don't know if my younger daughter is in anyway entitled to a place under fair access protocol because of her mental health requirements. Please could somebody advise - I mean in legal terms.

I know about trying positive, communicating with schools etc. I have done nothing else this last year with other daughter.

OP posts:
Original poster
friendlyflicka · 06/09/2018 20:34

Both schools are academies. Further complication: we live in one county, catholic school in bordering county, school my daughter has been allocated is in third county! And obviously my daughters are not baptised otherwise no problem being admitted to the Catholic school.

OP posts:
HuntIdeas · 06/09/2018 21:50

Has your youngest got an ECHP?

prh47bridge · 06/09/2018 23:10

I'm afraid your daughter's mental health requirements do not entitle you to a place under the fair access protocol. That is for children who are difficult to place. If the FAP is used you don't get to choose which school your child will end up attending.

Right now I'm afraid there is little you can do other than wait to see if the school will grant a further appeal.

It isn't clear from what you have posted whether it might be possible to get an EHCP for your daughter. If you do, you will be able to ask for a particular school to be named on the EHCP and the school concerned will have to admit her. If there is any possibility of an EHCP it is worth pursuing that.

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 07/09/2018 07:13

Thanks. I will look into that.And thanks for answering

OP posts:
admission · 07/09/2018 21:15

Have to agree with PRH on the basis of your posts that you cannot really do anything else at present. A second appeal in an academic year can only be because of a significant change in circumstances, which is what the governors are now deciding about. I would have thought that if there have been significant issues over the summer, including police risk assessments, then that would potentially reach the threshold for another appeal. However as an Academy any appeal will have to be with a new panel which is independent of the school and the governors and this is not likely to happen before the end of September. There is also absolutely no guarantee that this panel will decide that the case for your daughter outweighs the case for the school. For a start there are 3 further pupils in the school who were admitted at the first appeal with better cases for appeal than your daughter.
The governors at the school will have to make the decision as to whether they will grant the second appeal having considered the strength of your appeal. They can agree a second appeal or if they felt that they were very unlikely to win any appeal, they could simply just admit as they are allowed to do. I do however have to say that most schools would not do this as it sets a precedent that means that any future appeals for the school could be influenced by the governing boards decision.

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 07/09/2018 22:13

Thanks, Admission. I hope the evidence I have given reaches the threshold, but there is no formal threshold. I do know they are under no obligation to do anything - it is entirely at their discretion. And I really thought I had incredibly strong case at the first appeal - perhaps I didn't focus enough of the individual needs of my younger daughter and too generally on the requirements of the family. That is all I can think because she did have a very legitimate reasons to require a place at the school. I get a bit sick of holding up our problems and sobbing in public. If I get a chance I might bring a friend to help articulate our need without my overflow of emotions!

My daughter doesn't know there is a chance of a second appeal - I am doing my best to get her settled in her allocated school. It is just very difficult and I wondered if there was some other route.

Obvious thing is to be totally hypocritical and get her a fast-track baptism!

OP posts:
tumpymummy · 08/09/2018 00:49

Gosh friendly what a really difficult situation for you and daughters. I would never normally say this, but in your situation getting your daughter baptised might really be the simplest solution (if it's not too late).

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 08/09/2018 12:16

tumpymummy, I know!

OP posts:
Original poster
friendlyflicka · 10/09/2018 20:52

I am completely stuck. I have 2 children who both need me and am being forced to choose who to prioritise. Both have to be in at right time or they are too nervous to attend.

I have the decision about appeal tomorrow and I can't get younger daughter into school because taking older daughter.

If the decision is 'no appeal', then I think I am going to have to arrange baptism and pull younger daughter out of school and home educate until place becomes available. Really have no idea what to do and am so stressed.

OP posts:
LIZS · 11/09/2018 08:32

Do check the baptism criteria before you go down that road (unless you have a religious commitment anyway), many admissions criteria state that it has to be well established connection with regular attendance at Mass and expect baptism as babies.

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 11/09/2018 08:48

It isn't. And we have attended as have taken my mother with dementia to church. I am a lapsed catholic, but have helped out a lot.

You just have to be baptised. That is it.

OP posts:
HuntIdeas · 11/09/2018 12:55

Good luck today

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 12/09/2018 19:21

I don't think they have agreed a second appeal. Rung up today and was told there is a letter coming, in a tone of voice that suggested she wanted me off the phone very quickly.

I have had to take my youngest out of school and am going to have to homeschool until a place becomes available. All a bit of a mess.

OP posts:
Original poster
friendlyflicka · 14/09/2018 20:33

I don't know if anyone is reading this but, they have agreed a second appeal. The Diocese will contact me to sort it out.

My daughter is at home at the moment. I will make it clear I don't think that is their responsibility but that there was nothing I could do because the other school was untenable. Absolute truth.

OP posts:
Original poster
friendlyflicka · 14/09/2018 20:36

I am honestly not a strange tiger Mum who has got an obsession with outstanding school. I have never been a pushy mother about achievement etc. Just have no way of getting younger daughter anywhere else when older daughter needs transport as much as younger, and all her friends are there

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 14/09/2018 23:21

That's good news. Hope it goes well for you.

Soontobe60 · 14/09/2018 23:32

If you are not successful, then you need to seriously reconsider home schooling. You have a mental illness and your DD suffers from anxiety. She could potentially end up becoming your career if you have a relapse with your bipolar disorder.
If there is absolutely no way that either girl is able to go to school other than by yo driving them, I would ask one school to allow a part time timetable. It is permissible by law,

tumpymummy · 14/09/2018 23:43

I'm still reading. Some sensible advice in the last past. Home schooling is a massive undertaking.

SpoonBlender · 14/09/2018 23:43

Oh, great surprise news! Good luck with it Flowers

nonameisbetterthanmyname · 14/09/2018 23:59

Sorry I haven’t read all of the posts but wanted to quickly say my DH was a governor at a catholic school and the advice from the Catholic Church is not to separate siblings. Schools were advised to change admissions policies reflect this. Essentially to give siblings priority over baptised children.

FrillySpidersWillys · 15/09/2018 00:06

I am a Parent Governor at a Catholic School PP is right It should state in their admissions criteria regarding older siblings attending the school reference this in your appeal

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 15/09/2018 09:12

soontobesixty as someone who has spent a lifetime with a severe mental illness, I have come across much prejudice and life hasn't been easy for me. There are many things I feel inadequate about, I put with domestic abuse from my children's father for many years because my self esteem was low. This would certainly have contributed to my children's anxiety issues.They have a difficult genetic inheritance equally. But one thing my children would never become is my carer.

Both children laugh at the idea. I take mountains of medication everyday and am extremely responsible for my own mental health.

I don't think home education is a good idea at all for either of my children which is why I battled for 2 terms to get my oldest daughter into a school that would be right for her. Now she is attending full time and very happy in her GCSE year.

My youngest one yesterday I enrolled in Kumon for basic English and Maths, I can teach the rest very easily and she is very bright. But I don't want this for her. I don't want her to be isolated.

I have had to have social services involvement as a result of the past domestic violence, they have agreed that even with my very enduring mental illness I am an extremely responsible and fit mother. I might find it extra challenging but my children do not suffer as a result.

So unless you have extra knowledge to which I have no access, I would suggest that your assumptions are spurious and quite insulting.

OP posts:
Original poster
friendlyflicka · 15/09/2018 09:16

nonameisbetterthanmyname FrillySpidersWillys

Unfortunately I have become very familiar with the code from the Diocese the school's own admission's policy. It is very clear that no child is to be admitted - even a sibling - where a catholic or even just a baptised Christian of another denomination - would lose a place as a result.

OP posts:
Highlights12 · 15/09/2018 09:37

When we lost an appeal to get ds2 into same school as ds1 we put a letter into headmaster to say how disappointed we were and we wanted to go on waiting list for place and would home educate in the meantime. We then got a call a couple of days later to say a place was available. Also told friends to do this a couple of years later and it worked for them. Maybe worth a try.

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 15/09/2018 10:18

Highlights12 she is on the waiting list but the problem is because it is a faith school unless she is baptised, the fact that she is a sibling and went to feeder school are completely disregarded.

So I have to get her baptised and then she is top of the waiting list! But I would rather just appeal on the pastoral grounds.

OP posts: