As the Tiffin deadline looms, is there a girls SW London grammars / indies thread yet?

[FlumePlume]

I just realised that I need to get the Tiffin Girls form in ASAP, and wondered if anyone else is in the same position? I could do with company in this process!

We’re not yet decided but probably applying to Tiffin, WHS, SPGS, Sutton High and maybe one of PHS / Emanuel / KGS.

Yes I’m guessing LEH are posting the letters today so I will be stalking the postman tomorrow or Friday!

Morning all
Congrats to all who have received offers thus far.
Also waiting for LEH but trying to not hold out too much hope.
I was also wondering if they are doing emails as well as letters...
Anyone from last year on the thread who can advise?

Good luck to everyone waiting it's such a hellish process to put DC through, but a good rehearsal for GCSEs I suppose.

We downloaded lots of English, Maths and reasoning papers with a view to preparing DD at home but then kind of gave up and decided we couldn't face it in the end.

If any Year 4 or 5 want to PM me, I have a whole pile of papers still sitting here and some SW London school brochures if any good?

Lonely do you mean you didnt sit any at all?
I have a year 4 boy whole will go through this whole thing and after this crappy year i really can't face it......

I'm with you. my DD and DS are 1 school year apart.... i need to really think about the benefits vs cons of going through all of this. Loads of anxiety all round with an incredibly small chance of success, or rather what one thinks might be success... hmmmmmmm

Richmond it sucks

Good luck to all those waiting for LEH tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

Can I ask Richmond And Kalifornia - we’re your DD’s current schools not helpful in advising you in a range of schools to apply for - eg one that’s a “stretch”, two or three “should dos” and a “backup” option, based on CAT scores and performance in school?

My DD’s state school definitely doesn’t advise on which private schools to apply for at 11+ but will only discuss the state options. I’ve also no idea what my dd’s CAT scores are but I know she is top of her class and very capable. I have however tried to apply to a range of schools and just hope we get something as total rejection will be horrible. Fingers crossed.

Same here. I had no idea and realise how naive I have been. We are also from a state school. DD is hard working and top 4 in her class. I knew there was some gap between state and prep but never realised what a gap there was. Our feedback has always been that she is exceeding. She has worked hard and had 1 hour tutoring each week for 2 years doing homework at night etc.

I never fully understood how extremely competitive it was nor the difference in what prep schools offer in terms of relationships with other school heads etc.

Fortunately we have a good state option down the road, however DD's heart is now set on getting into some of the schools we visited and I now feel guilty even introducing her to those schools.

I knew it wasnt a level playing field but thought that could be overcome with hard work, i now some succeed but i didnt fully realise how few do.

I have also been astounded by mums who lie about tutoring, which schools their DDs would be applying for. I saw 2 parents on 11+ exam day that told me they definitely werent applying. What is that all about?

Hang on there Richmond, your daughter sounds very similar to mine, the girls I know whom are invited back 4/5 are from state schools...I dont think in terms of 11+ everyone in preps can beat state school kids(however they must have been having much better/in depth teaching and better variety of subjects, better extra curriculum activities, which is similar to what we are hoping for secondary Indie, rather than just the end academic result).
My husband was asked about tutor cost and he said we must pay hundreds each month since year then everyone said, no wonder she isnt bottom of the class. I then had to correct him that he actually meant music tutor cost, we actually pay more than £409/month for music only. So people really choose what they want to hear. Mine has group tutor starting with 1 hour, then 1.5; then the last 6 weeks 2 hours, there were breaks and holiday for example 6 weeks summer holiday last year before the state school exams. Although in comparison to her competitive swimming, chess and not mentioning music, the cost, hours and effort put in academic is really nothing.

*since year 1

1ndig0 the simple answer is no, state schools won't/don't advise on private.
We will be told they are 'exceeding' but that's it. you get an idea of where your child sits in the class but that's all.

This DD is my third one going through the process and mine were all in a non-selective prep. None of them were tutored whatsoever on top of that though, because they got so much homework anyway, I think it would have been counterproductive and I didn’t want to confuse them with alternative methods, etc. The head has a scheduled meeting with all parents in Year 5 and will not sign off references for schools that he feels the pupil will not get into. They have no qualms telling you if there is no chance, but they DH suggest you do one or two that are a stretch, as long as you have some more solid options too. They track the CAT scores all the way from reception as a basic guideline. The head showed me the stats - for SPGS or KCS you need to be averaging 135; LU and LEH 132; PHS about 125 and so on. It’s much harder for boys than girls in the Putney /Wimbledon area because there are far fewer options at 11 plus - no “High School” options for instance. The heads’ reputations with the senior schools depend on the suitability of the candidates they send, so they won’t write references for “outliers”. I’m told LU is the “hardest” school to get into at the moment, simply because of sheer numbers of applications which are doubling that of other schools. The co-eds are harder for boys to get into than girls, again because there is only really Hampton (or KCS now it’s 11 plus), as an alternative to say, LU or KGS, whereas for girls there’s WHS, PHS, LEH, SPGS, G&L, SHS, etc.

1ndig0 As others have said, at a state primary we had no advice, no CAT scores, nothing beyond ‘exceeding age related expectations’ every year. Not even a reference from dd’s Headteacher.

I agree with Greenleave, I don’t think our kids are at a massive disadvantage in the exams, our good state primary has taught her the basics well (though not all the maths she needed in time for the exams, and no exam technique). But I agree with littlemiss and Richmond that we as parents are at a huge disadvantage in knowing where to apply - which is where a prep or a good tutor really helps. We had neither, so I researched a lot (including on here).

It can be more stressful in a prep in the sense that everyone is in the process by default and often there’s quite large groups all going for the same schools. They do all get a school though in the end. The problem is that there are few “back up options” now. The “academic average” in SW London is skewed and there are few options for the child who, on a national level, would be academically average (ie CAT scores 90-110) unless you go quite far out eg. into somewhere like Twickenham for Radnor House or St Catherine’s, or places like Cobham. This is why many end up boarding, it seems, or flexible-boarding.

Agreed, the pressure of going to a prep school must be huge, similar to secondary Indie kids will be questioned on their results if they dont outperform...some people could happily think “after all, all that money was wasted!”

I went to state schools myself and did pretty well, but I have a DC in Year 11 now at one if the “super selectives” and it’s the guidance / support towards A-Level and uni applications, I think, that makes the difference. A bright child can get all A* at a “good enough” school and this happens all the time. But what those schools lack is the department to advise and support your applications to eg Oxbridge or, increasingly, US Ivy League. Having these aspirations is deemed fairly standard; many others will be in the same boat and you don’t have to go it alone in other words. I can see a different kind of confidence that none of my peers ever had. If you take part in a few extra curricular things, such as a sports team, debating, choir or drama, your uni application writes itself, because they will have advised you on subject combinations alongside “extra” courses as you go di that your CV is rounded and relevant.

Thanks for your sharing 1ndig0!

Morning all.
Very valuable information above. Good luck to all who are waiting for their LEH letters today. Please let us know when you receive them :)

Been lurking. LEH interview letter received!

WOW, congrats... postman hasnt been yet :(

Just received. It's a no for us. Good luck to all

I just want to say that posts like 1ndigo0's above perpetuate the impression that everyone at these top schools gets all A*s and aspires to Oxbridge or Ivy League and this is simply not the case.

Just on this year's A level results, at LEH 25% were at grade B or below, and at Latymer Upper that figure was roughly a third. Our kids get the impression that anything other than A stars are a failure and it is so harmful to their mental health.

Thankfully my 11+ days are well behind me and my eldest children have now left the schools mentioned above but I wish you all the best of luck.

Hang in there Richmond xx

Richmond - sorry it wasn’t good news today. I really wish you all the best. Believe me I’ve been there when one of. My DS’ had the hideous misfortune to do the 7 plus, which was a massive mistake in retrospect. This is just a point in time. What are your other options?

Always - I agree with you, but I was just trying to say that for those who do have potential for certain unis, there is likely to be more support and guidance in an independent. I have 2 DC in the school above now and there’s a whole department for US applications. I’ve really had to manage DS’ expectations during his mocks these last couple of weeks because he seems to think anything less than an 8 or 9 is a failure - when, in reality, a 7 is an A! The new number grades are an extra layer of stress we could do without really. It is a problem. All the friends are hyped up about getting all 9s and some have already been to summer programmes at Yale or Harvard, or are totally single-minded about what they need to do to get into x medical school or whatever, when my DS had no idea what he wants to do really.