Would appreciate secondary teachers' advice re difficult DS

[lilolilmanchester]

Sorry, I know you've all had enough after a day at school, but would appreciate teachers' thoughts here. My Yr9 DS is bright BUT won't work, distracts other children in class, seems to have almost daily - and definitely weekly - notes in his homework diary. Regularly in detention and on report.Says he finds everything boring. It's a really uphill battle to get him to do homework, or to do it well, and we regularly get phone calls from school. He is very bright, but he's at a selective grammar school, which has loads of bright kids so it's not like he isn't being stretched. Story has been similar all the way through primary too. He's quite immature behaviourally and we live in hope that things will get better when he matures a bit - but that just doesn't seem to be happening. It's causing major problems between him and my DH - and between me and my DH. Any thoughts?

Yes very true MB!

Perhaps you could, as a family, focus everything more on out of school stuff so he gets very into just doing what boys love to do - kicking a ball the beach, climbing trees etc so the pressure of school is reduced a bit.

I don't mean that you're pressuring him - just that perhaps he needs his attention to focus a lot on something other than school to make him concentrate more when he's at school IYSWIM?

Someone on another thread suggested that early puberty at 9 can really change boys and their attitudes to school.

These are only my parenting thoughts - I'm not a teacher! I thought the terrible 2's are tricky now - looks like I've got so many other surprises awaiting me!

Luciemule, he does loads of sport - rugby; cricket; squash. Seems to have lots of mates. Has been picked on over the years for being small, but not sure if that is anything to do with it.

well - that's good then if he does loads of sports etc - it could just be a self confidence thing and day dreaming. Perhaps he's starting to question 'life' more and wonder about the importance of things etc.

For my whole time through comprehensive school, I constantly questioned the teachers as to why anyone would need the sort of meths they were teaching us and felt I was wasting my time. Although I was capable, I didn't bother with maths as much as I should have as I just felt they weren't capturing my imagination and making want to learn it.

There was a thread a week or so back from someone who's son was very similar.

I think perhaps you're right. Quite hard to argue with a 14 year old who thinks RIchardIII is boring! Will look out the other thread - many thanks to all of you for taking the time to try to help me with this.