AIBU to be annoyed at school for making DD wear tights in 30 degree heat

[hotnbotherd]

DD is not allowed to wear a skirt without tights to school. It is literally boiling.. she protested to the Head of Year and Head of Lower School who said that one of the reasons why is that 'boys will look up their skirts' (!!!!!!!! 😡) surely this is a TERRIBLE message to be giving girls? Surely if boys look up girls skirts then it is the boys who should be at fault!!!? Shouldn't girls be allowed to wear skirts without being worried about boys upskirting them!!!!!???? And without teachers basically removing all blame from boys and - instead relaying a message that the girls should dress conservatively in case boys can't control themselves!! WTF!!!! I am so angry.

Yeh that’s a horrible reason, more victim blaming of women as usual, perhaps they should teach the boys not to look up skirts? I would take this up with the school.

Victim blaming again, it makes me so cross!!

As an aside my 15 year old daughter wore 70 denier tights to school today by choice....

Utterly outrageous. I would be complaining to headteacher, governors and whoever else I could

Yes totally! My point exactly! It should be the school's responsibility to discipline boys who look up skirts, not to force girls to dress 'preventatively' ffs.

Do they have the option of shorts? Trousers would be cooler than tights if not. My son has been fine in trousers and polo shirt (Secondary, not allowed shorts).

It is not literally boiling.

Thanks IceWeasel for your corrections... and yes, trousers are an option, the boys also wear shorts. But that is not the issue. My anger stems from the fact that the school told my DD that she has to wear tights because otherwise boys will look up her skirt. This is not - in my opinion - an appropriate response, or position for the school to take, it reinforces the notion that girls/women are to blame/ have influence over/ invite unwanted sexual attention of boys/men......... this is not OKAY

The title says the school are making children wear tights. If they have the options of shorts or trousers as well, then they could choose not to wear tights.

The reason given was unreasonable, I agree. Requiring tights to be worn with skirts if there are other choices available is not unreasonable in my opinion.

Many children wear skirts that are too short, skirts are a nightmare for schools to police, and not acceptable for other children to have to see their underwear whenever they bend over or climb the stairs.

This is absolutely not ok. I would be livid! (Already feeling the red mist descend).

Not sure how best to tackle other than asking teacher/HOY what is their policy on skirts in summer and see what they say.

Maybe the title should be changed to something along the lines of "school blaming girls for boys looking up skirts" rather than the uniform policy per se

Ok so who would you complain to if someone took an upskirt film / photo of your dd and posted it on the internet? A friend is dealing with this right now - her dd did not wear tights / trousers at he mum’s persuasion, the girl was filmed, posted to porn sites. School is saying it’s not their fault. Boy was punished legally but the girl’s photos are on the internet forever.

It's ludicrous to make them wear tights with skirts and socks with shorts. They should be allowed to wear ankle socks! Very sexist.

I am totally anti uniform. Pointless. When the summer uniforms come out but it's bloody chilly in April /May and all the girls are shaking from cold in the morning in the schoolyard in a flimsy little ugly dress with no thights on and a lousy little cardigan. And they are not allowed to wear thights because it's only allowed with the winter uniform. It wasn't too long ago...
Fuck. This. Shit.

Middle East so the boy was punished quite harshly but it raises an important question. Best not to allow skirts or dresses at all.

Yes- agree. I should change the title to make it more relevant.. How do I change the title?

One of the reasons why

What were the others?

We all coped wearing tights through summer. If she doesn't want to then she should choose another option.

DuchyDuke the scenario you describe is entirely the fault of the boy and the school and, had the girl worn tights to prevent it happening, I'm sure the boy would have found another way to violate someone's privacy.

That's such a terrible thing for your friend's child to be going through:( I get that things would be easier if all girls just wore trousers but why should they have to..? Shouldn't girls have the freedom to wear skirts without the worry of what boys will do to them??? The kids don't wear tights in Australian high schools.. I wonder how they manage- I guess because it's just normalised... their legs aren't hidden away and seen as some kind of provocation!

YANBU. Along side victim blaming there is almost an expectation that boys will behave in this way. It's so sad. I've managed to raise two boys and neither of them have ever looked up a girls skirt at school (and hopefully anywhere else). It's a totally barmy reason to give.

Australia has a huge problem with upskirting thouhh & like the ME are considering a ban.

Why do people seek to ban skirts when it’s the boys who need to be tackled about their behaviour? It’s totally avoiding the real problem and punishing the girls.
Wearing a skirt is normal. Boys who try and look up their skirts are not normal and, hopefully, will soon be doing something illegal. They need to learn it’s not acceptable and they need to stop.

Yes, a girl should be able to wear skirt and no tights. How stupid some schools are!

It’s not always boys who take these photos. Other girls do too.

What were the other reasons?

I don't think this rule would exist in many schools if kids followed the rules on skirt length. Some skirts are so short it is near impossible not to show underwear. It's not appropriate in a school/working environment and not fair on the other kids. If there are other options then the rule is reasonable, if they don't like tights, then they can wear shorts or trousers.

I sort of see what you're saying but it does kind of depend on skirt length. At the length theyre worn at our local school its nigh impossible not to "look up them" every time a girl sits down.

I know telling girls you dont want to see their underwear/arse cheeks is considered retrograde and unfeminist nowadays but actually I don't.

My DDs school finally relented on this after many complaints from parents. It's worth making your feelings known, in as nice and fair a way as possible.

DuchyDuke can you give us a link to the terrible Australian upskirting problem? After that a link to the law changes being considered would be ace.

We wore American Tan stockings right through Australian summers, it was hideous. We also had to go through skirt length checks where we knelt on the floor and the length was measured to make sure when we sat our knees were covered. Bloody ridiculous.