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Secondary education

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Original poster

Disappointing Gcse results

54 replies

verydisappointedteen · 25/08/2017 08:13

My Ds was predicted all a stars & 8s; hovever reality is a lot different. He got 6 a & 4 b & 1c and now feels results are worthless and universities won't consider him. Am trying to console him but would be useful to hear any stories about people with similar results getting into well regarded universities to give him hope that this is not a career defining moment! Thanks

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 25/08/2017 08:16

He got 6A's and is disappointed?

Caulkheadupnorf · 25/08/2017 08:21

Seriously??

Just help him work in a different way for college/a levels so he receives grades he needs for uni. I have about 3 gcses. I also have a PhD.

witchofzog · 25/08/2017 08:31

Seriously? He has done amazing. Not as amazing as hoped but still amazing. I hope you have told him that. His results are in no way "disappointing"

As long as he does well in his A Level subjects then his GCSE's should be no problem.

NeonFlower · 25/08/2017 08:32

I hate the way predicted grades are given these days. It might be too late for expectation management, but he should and will be proud of his results. It is just a shock, when it sinks in it will be less black and white and he will see the good bits too. Keep talking them up, maybe arrange for him to talk to someone about his options now.

daydreamnation · 25/08/2017 08:32

His results are exactly what my dd got, she was actually predicted much higher but she's really happy with them and I'm over the moon and bloody proud of her!!

Why on earth is he disappointed? He must feel under pressure from either school or family to feel that those results are terrible?

Copperbeech33 · 25/08/2017 08:36

his results are very good indeed, as a sixth form teacher I can tell you any local school will be delighted to take him, and staff will be fighting each other to get him onto their subject.

He can do anything he wants with those results.

you have not mentioned English and maths, if he doesn't have good grades in these he will need to retake them, but that is easily possible

JanetheObscure · 25/08/2017 08:38

Honesty, those are excellent results, not unlike my own DD's :), but he was obviously expecting higher grades and that is difficult for him.

The first thing to talk through with him is just how hard it is to get an A. The press is full of stories of the straight A students and it's easy to forget that they are in the news precisely because they are exceptional. Only a very small proportion of students reach the top grade (though admittedly a fair few of these seem to have mumsnetters as parents!!). So it is absolutely no "disgrace" to attain a string of As; it's the very opposite and of course universities are going to be extremely interested in him indeed when the time comes.

In the longer term, could you perhaps discuss his revision techniques with him to see if he could sharpen them up, ready for A levels? Was that perhaps an issue?

From my experience with my dc, the shock of GCSE results (whether a good or a bad shock) wears off fairly quickly as they embark on sixth form life and start focusing on A levels and I'm sure he will find his motivation again.

Finally, my DS achieved GCSEs which were not as good as your DS's, whilst my elder DD got higher GCSE grades. Yet who of the two got the better A levels and a first in his degree? My DS.

RubaDubMum89 · 25/08/2017 08:46

Although it was 12/13 years ago now, I got 2As, 2Bs, 5Cs and 2Ds and still went to a good university and did a psychology degree. Gcses are not the be all and end all the schools make them out to be.

bengalcat · 25/08/2017 09:09

Agree with Jane - news is full of A because they are exceptional - I loathe the way kids are built up to believe ' only Awill do ' and grade predictions and then feel they've failed . He has more than enough A* to keep up and expand on his knowledge and hard work to do well at A level and achieve his dreams

CancellyMcChequeface · 25/08/2017 09:15

I hate how much weight is put on predicted grades. I was predicted all A (many years ago) and was frustrated because all I could do was fail to live up to expectations. When I took my concerns to school pastoral care, I was told 'girl x got all A 5 years ago, therefore you can too.' I didn't. I was pleased with the grades I got in the end because at that point I had other issues (severe anxiety, long-term school refusal) and almost didn't sit the exams, but the school's pressure for perfect results wasn't helpful at all.

That is to say that I understand how he must be feeling, even though objectively his results are very, very good and won't prevent him from pursuing any career or university option. I think it's important not to be dismissive of his response, even though we know that it's an over-reaction. Instead of thinking about A Level study skills, it might be an idea, over time, to encourage him to think about and value his non-academic skills and qualities so that his sense of self-worth isn't dependent on his academic performance, if that's an issue for him more generally.

Original poster
verydisappointedteen · 25/08/2017 09:20

This is very reassuring thanks everyone - His English & Maths were good just not as predicted - he got 7s instead of 8s. He didn't work very hard. I think he thought he'd coast through it like he's always done up to now! I've always supported him and hate to see him so bent out of shape. I think part of it is he knows he should have put more effort in and regrets it now! Thanks again

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 25/08/2017 09:22

They are good enough to get him to the next stage, plus he knows he could have worked harder and done better. It's not the worst start to 6th form really!

drivinmecrazy · 25/08/2017 09:26

OP my DD1 got identical results and she too is inconsolable.
She's had to amend her A level choices slightly (for the better in my humble opinion).
It's so difficult because her friendship group are all high achievers so she doesn't see the kids who fared worse.
DD realises she's being slightly unreasonable feeling the way she does but cannot shake it off just yet. I'm hoping a good night's sleep will have helped slightly.
I hate that our children see these results as a failure.
For the PP saying he mus have been under enormous pressure from home or school, that's certainly not the case with my DD.
Het harshest critic has always been herself.
I hope your DS can come to terms and move on from his disappointment Flowers

furrymuff · 25/08/2017 09:27

Maybe you could try to get him to see it as a bonus? You say that he thought he'd coast through it - well now he can see the results of not working very hard? Best that he learns that now, rather than at A level time. His results are still really very good Smile

My DS is the same - his revision schedule considered of watching revision videos at 6am the morning of the exam and that was it! He got 4Bs and 5Cs yesterday - I was just relieved and happy that he'd passed 9! But he was disappointed not to have got a single A, and he says he knows now that this was because he didn't put the effort it.

I guess they live and learn - it's all part of growing up!

Branleuse · 25/08/2017 09:29

Some people need to get a fucking grip. They are damn good results. My sons highest grade was a C in drama and I couldnt be more proud.

What the hell sort of pressure are these kids under?

Noregretsatall · 25/08/2017 09:34

Of course they're good results! Universities make offers based on A levels anyway. I'm sure he's got a great future ahead...

AirandMungBeans · 25/08/2017 09:37

Wow, I'm slightly aghast at the pressure these kids must be put under by the school to think that these are bad grades!! How on earth are they going to cope in the real world if they put themselves under this much pressure at work?!

TwitterQueen1 · 25/08/2017 09:39

So sad that your DS is not happy (and the other poster's DD too).

These are great results and they should be proud of them. Many, many other students will have grounds for disappointment - these grades don't merit that at all.

What are we doing to our children that they cannot be happy with a genuine achievement? these grades won't limit their options at all.

dazzlingdeborahrose · 25/08/2017 09:40

My son was also predicted As and As in most of his subjects. Yesterday he got 1A*, 6 As and 4 Bs. He's delighted. He did coast through most of his GCSE years. We might go for one remark but otherwise we're very happy. I'm not sure when a B became a disappointing grade. A B is a great grade.

My sons heading to 6th dorm to do three very demanding subjects and is still planning to go to university. He now understands the importance of working hard no matter how clever you are.

Congratulations to your son on a fabulous set of results. I hope, as the dust settles, he feels more positive about what he's achieved and what his future holds.

bluebell34567 · 25/08/2017 09:42

are you joking? in which bubble are you living? these are very good results as ppl have said. please don't let him get upset and yourself as well. you both must be celebrating.

RedHelenB · 25/08/2017 09:45

Might be a good thing if he realises more effort = better grades for A levels. My dd made a conscious decision to work but not to excess like some of her friends. Unsurprisingly they got more A * but they deserved to. Now she is doing A levels in subjects she finds interesting I think she will enjoy working harder. At start of y10 she was so down I'm just so happy and grateful to have my normal girl back. She definitely made the right choice for her.

TestTubeTeen · 25/08/2017 09:48

OMG! 6 As?

And you know 7 is a really good result?

And that B is a good grade??

Do you and he put too much pressure on yourselves? Compete?

Good luck to him in 6th form.

MayhemandMadness01 · 25/08/2017 09:52

Ds got 6 Bs, 3Cs. He then decided to go for the Btec Ext Dip route rather than A levels and is due to start at one of the top uni's for his field in Sept. This uni had 100% employment rate for last 2 yrs in professional or managerial level within 6 months of graduating.

Those grades wont stop or hinder him, he just needs to see the bigger picture.

Tiredemma · 25/08/2017 09:53

They are good results. Very good results.

I have a DS1 who needed 2 A's to stay on at his current 6th form. He didnt get them and yesterday we actually spent most of the afternoon saying how relieved we were that this option was now removed from him. The stress experienced over revision just isnt worth it. I realised yesterday that A levels would potentially break his spirit.

Since we decided that he will go to do a Btec at another college he looks like the weight of the world has removed itself from his shoulders.

noitsnotteatimeyet · 25/08/2017 10:09

I hate the way people on MN pile onto threads like these to accuse the OP of putting pressure on their dc. Whether or not those grades are disappointing is surely relative. Many pupils would be justifiably proud of themselves for their hard work paying off, however if dc have been expecting higher grades (and know they should be capable of getting those grades) then disappointment is a natural reaction. It also depends on your peer group - if most of your friends are celebrating strings of A*s then it's ok to feel down if you don't.

What matters now is how he reacts to his disappointment. If he uses it to galvanise himself into working harder in sixth form then it will have been a useful experience. Much better to happen now than later on!

Dd doesn't sit her GCSEs for another two years but I'm already starting to manage expectations - she's desperate to get all 9s but I'm telling her as long as she tries hard we'll be proud of whatever results she gets, and so should she. The pressure doesn't come from us or her school but from herself and her group of similarly high-achieving friends.