What can non uni educated/low income parents do to bridge the educational gap

[ilikespaghetti]

Read part of the parental income thread & felt quite disheartned, dh & I are non uni educated & would be on quite an average payscale. We want to give dc the best educational prospects we can but all the odds are against us so it seems. How can the likes of us bridge the edcuational gap & ensure our dc can compete with kids from private schools & kids who are from homes where both parents have degrees etc... Bit sad reading the thread to be honest...

[crazycatgal]

As long as you care about their education and engage with them they will do well.

Both of my parents are working class and didn't go to uni, but because they tried to help me so much when I was a child I've always been academic and managed to go to a top 10 uni.

[noblegiraffe]

If you fail your exams from a low income background it doesn't matter how many artichokes you've been taught how to eat.

[sheepskinshrug]

Adventures in Social mobility I posted this on another thread, but I think it's relevant here too. It's from Radio 4's Analysis. An interesting listen on how to get that top job and having the right set of interests seems to be quite important.

[noblegiraffe]

I mean, the number of people from low income backgrounds who ever get to the position where they need to worry about looking uncomfortable in a Michelin-starred restaurant is surely low enough that saving for a year to spend hundreds of pounds on a single meal is probably safely bumped down the list behind spending that 'spare' money on educational resources.

[LightYears]

Roses The definition of a snob.

[LightYears]

maybe should steer away from being excessively judgy about other's etiquette What gave you that impression.

[Chottie]

OP - neither DH or I went to uni. We were both 11+ failures too....

But DD has a Cambridge PhD and DS has an honours degree from a redbrick uni.

So please, not feel disheartened.

[Chottie]

do not !!!

[hidingmystatus]

Let's not get hung up on the one thing. It is important to have the confidence to greet people and not hide in a corner, but the first thing that matters is doing well enough in school to get there in the beginning.
And as I said upthread, have expectations. High expectations. In my extremely limited experience, NT children rise to expectations, rather than anything else. If you expect little, you get little.
Celebrate successes - and effort. If the best your child can do is a C, but they have worked hard for it, that's more praiseworthy than no effort at all. Basically, the message is if you have done your best, then there is no more that you could have done, whatever the outcome.

[sheepskinshrug]

What gave you that impression LightYears Genuine question or sarcasm? - if the former....OhtheRoses post.

[CookieDoughKid]

Top grades will open doors but actually IMO they do about 50% of the job. its the contextual stuff that will get you through them and if anything, leap frog you down the corridor of doors. Hubby is an expert sales and career coach (and has the business credibility to get the clients that he has). He regularly coaches CXOs and execs specifically on the contextual stuff.

If I'm hiring for a position I look for candidates that have completed their stint in X and not drop out. Grades are a nice to have but I'm really looking for cultural fit and someone who will deliver for the company. Cultural fit is massively important whether you agree with it or not. At the end of the day, the Candidate will represent the company and I am looking for impressive candidates that would fit that profile. Ambitious, Entrepreneurial, Agile, Innovators. (Not academic excellence).

[noblegiraffe]

Cookie would you hire a candidate who had failed maths and/or English GCSE, as the majority of disadvantaged students do?

[CookieDoughKid]

Typically we put candidates for exec roles that need 5 or more interviews before a decision is made. The interviewers will have nigh on made a favourable or not hit list on the first few minutes of meeting a candidate. An intensive 360 degree review is done on the candidate plus about 3 references including a non job role reference. I want young students to know that recruitment in the job market is very very tough and the competition from EU and international candidates are often exceptional. There is just not enough awareness in schools about this. The bar for even entry city jobs are very high.

So raise that bar for your pupils by all means but really nail that contextual stuff as it will be that that will get them through to the finishing line.

So many students are unable to articulate a positive answer to 'Tell me about yourself' in interviews be it for academia or job roles
I would start with practising answering that as an exercise.

[CookieDoughKid]

Noble - I wouldn't throw their CV out. But I would be checking for good content on their CV. OK, so school isn't their thing but what is it are they good at? I'm looking for students that can show me a meaty project they have worked or or a job placement that challenged them and importantly, that they haven't dropped out. I'm also looking for witty headlines on their CV that tells me something about them. If they can't show or tell me anything then that's a problem.. Employers commit very expensive funds to hiring and training and they want their return and hirees to stay in their jobs and go the extra mile. Enthusiasm and demonstrable results (again not grades) is everything. If a CV does not show this, it gets thrown out. Sorry for crap grammar typing on phone!!

[Redact]

I had my son when I was a teenager. I started studying for a degree and then a post grad when I was 25. We always had books (back in the day, pre kindles), spent time reading, playing and visiting museums together, etc. It was hard going and in the early days money and time was tight, juggling work, education and family. My son went on to university and is currently at a top university studying towards his PhD. I think it comes down to encouragement and support from home.

[Sostenueto]

What the hell is eating in posh establishments got to do with bridging the educational gaps between working class and middle/upper classes? I know some children from the middle/upper classes that have table manners like pigs, swear like troopers and can't even be bothered to say please and thankyou. The question was about the educational gap and how to help that not advice on blooming eating etiquette or elocution lessons. I veer on the side that you can mix and keep up with any class if you are educated academically. And I find a lot of middle class people up themselves with a bare minimum of manners, courtesy and thought for others. Thankfully my working class children and grandchildren don't have a shortage of these things.

[KindDogsTail]

Sostenuto
Read back to Cookie's earlier posts to see the reason why these points came up. It was about general social confidence, beyond academic ability, and how this is one factor among several others that can help somebody be successful. So it was a topic which emerged from discussing the OP's original question.

[Sostenueto]

You do not need to go to a Michelin star restaurant to get on in the world. Talent will always shine out for those who know his to look for it. You do not need elocution lessons to get on. Manners well taught will suffice and get you through. In fact the more posh people spoke to me the more cockney I used to speak to them, didn't stop me getting on because I had the one thing they didn't have...talent. My advice to anyone who wants to help their child succeed is give them LOVE, ENCOURAGEMENT, A SENSE OF WORTH, EMPHATHY and the ability to avoid at all costs anyone that goes to a Michelin restaurant!

[C0untDucku1a]

Send your child to school in shoes, not pumps. Seriously.

[UppityHumpty]

I wasn't uni educated but I lead my DC's education as DH isn't great at reading or maths. I do this by examining what the kids get for homework, looking up shit online, and supplementing where I can. For example when DD found patterns difficult I modelled up a few graphical examples in Excel. I set her reading assignments. I created worksheets in Excel for English, French, Spanish, and a couple of Indian languages. Etc etc.

[Sostenueto]

Agree humptydumpty I do that all the while for my ggc. If you instill in your child the value of education then they will get on. And COUntduckU it does not matter what you wear on your feet, you don't write with your feet or think with your feet. You obviously judge a book by its cover, perhaps you should open the pages of a scruffy book, you may be surprised at what invaluable lessons you would learn.

[Dapplegrey2]

In fact the more posh people spoke to me the more cockney I used to speak to them, didn't stop me getting on because I had the one thing they didn't have...talent.
Can I ask what field you work in, Sostenueto?

[hellokittymania]

Be there and be encouraging. It isn't always easy to be there if you have to work different shifts, but even a grandparent or older sibling can help a great deal.

Look at your local newspaper or apps to find free or very low cost events going on. Maybe you could even start something of your own like a book or toy exchange

Some libraries have toy libraries so children under a certain age can check out toys as well as books. If you do have a computer at home, you can find audiobooks and other really good material on the web. I find a lot of audiobooks on YouTube. Even pound land has basic educational study guides and a small range of books. Be creative as well With what you have. There are so many good ideas on Pinterest for crafts, cooking and other things you can do with very little money. You can buy craft material in pound land and use your imagination .

Talk to your children, use a wide range of language and describe things to them. Your vocabulary is completely free to share.

[Sostenueto]

Hi dapplegrey. My field was music which can be very snobby. The only time I spoke in my natural way was when toffs spoke down to me. It really rankled me because they used to try and demean me by using my background. But I made great friendships with people of all classes. It just gets my goat still at my great age when I read certain posts like some on thus thread.

[CrunchySeaweed]

Khan academy is free and excellent :-)