Do you use one salary to pay for private school?

[TurkeyDinosaurs]

We're not on a high combined income £65k, but we really want to send our 2 dc private in secondary school. I was wondering how common it is for a family to use almost all of one person's income to do this. For example, one income is £30, other is £35 and 2 dc at private would be £24k pa. It would mean we'd be living on a household income of £41k obviously. Does anyone do this and does seem like a crazy sacrifice? Can you afford any sort of holidays or days out on this? I went to private so I want to give my children the same ideally.

As others have said your maths is completely out.

The 35,000 salary nets down to £26,500 so that might cover your school fees (but that would be a pretty cheap private school and you're completely forgetting about lunches - ours are £4.50 a day, travel, trips, expensive uniform with four different sports kits etc etc). School fees tend to see an increase of around 5% a year too.

The 30k salary then nets down to £23k

Those figures are without any pension contribution etc.

So you would have less than £2k a month to live on, £600 of that is gone straight away on your mortgage leaving you with less than £1400. Out of that you need to pay all living costs, bills and transport.

You absolutely can't afford it I'm afraid

In answer to your question though, yes we do effectively use one salary to pay of two lots of school fees - but its a six figure one.

I think a more accurate gauge would be can your joint salary in one month cover a term's fees for two. Here that would be about £9k.

If not, don't do it.

Why don't you look at your current outgoings.

Net income.

Then subtract groceries, utilities, phones, wifi, annual car costs, other transport, council tax, sky tv, buildings and contents insurance, fuel, then subtract 2k a month for fees, then say a hundred extra for extras. Then factor in things like clothes, clubs, uniforms, pocket money etc.

Then also remember things like school trips, if they get one coming in each at up to several hundred, per each of them per year, can they go? Birthdays, Xmas etc, additional unexpected costs like boiler repair or car repair or new tyres.

Honestly I'd save the money for their university education.the government only gives loans for kids of up to 3.5 k to live on if parents earn over 30k jointly and this does not usually even cover rent if they live away from home, never mind books they need to buy , food and utilities etc. So you will be probably subsidising each to the tune of up to four grand each year. I'd save towards that, put them in state school and pay for tutors as is necessary.

Wow - you'll find it a stretch for two on that budget

DH's DC are all at private school - mine have done a mix of private and state. But our income is much higher - so it's not really meant compromises to holidays, clubs etc. I'd be very wary of doing it on the kind of income you're on, as I'm really not sure the private school has been that much better. Spending money on some private tuition to patch up any holes in state school teaching, along with lots of extra curricular things and exciting holidays would probably give your kids (and you) a richer life. I haven't found the uniform, lunches, etc to be much worse in a private school than a state one, but the kids' friends are overwhelmingly rich and spend lots on going out, exotic holidays, etc. I think yours might feel quite poor in comparison. Also, teens do cost more than younger kids - they eat more, you pay full price for them everywhere, etc.

I do pay for private school and there is no way that I would pay if I thought that in any way it would impact the overall quality of life for the whole family.

The only exception might be if the school were a sink school/on special measures.

I think it would be so stressful for you and your husband to manage financially, after paying for 2 sets of school fees on that income. And it would inevitably put a strain on your relationship.

Every family needs quality time together so I'd use the money to enjoy your time together and go on holidays/days out.

I don't think any private school is worth that.

Sorry but I don't think you have done your sums, and after being privately educated, I'm not sure the maths lessons were worth paying for

I think you'd be mad.

My parents did this. My mum's salary about covered 2x fees. She also needed a car, we had only had one before. We had one holiday when i finished y7, then one when I finished y11, both Eurocamping in France. Meal out for birthdays sometimes. They felt the sacrifices were worth it. For my brother, they were, school 'made' him. I did well but the pressure got to me a bit.
When our financial circumstances changed the bursar got me fsm, a free bus pass, and a payment plan. I don't think they got a reduction in fees, just delayed payment.

Just not possible. You need to look at income after tax etc. Won't work.

I wouldn't, sorry. Depends where you live, but two sets if secondary fees would be nearer £36k pa round here, plus lunches, coach, clubs and trips. Plus nearly everyone I know supplements with extra tuition.

Why give yourself the extra worry?

Does depend what the age gap between your DC is though - if they're 3+ years apart, the overlap period when you'd be paying two lots of fees isn't huge. So with a bit of saving up whilst they're younger (testing out whether you really can live on the leftover salary) you might manage it.

Incidentally, I'm already putting plans in place to be able to afford a few years of private education if either of my children hate their comp! I won't be able to afford 5 years per child, but I'm aiming for 3 if they need it. This does not tally up with my own feelings that I would have valued having someone at home some evenings, so I'm experiencing cognitive dissonance about this.

I wouldn't do it. If you want them to have the best chance, get them into the best state school you can and pay for extra tuition in either most subjects or the ones they need a boost with (or just really love)
Dsis had a 75% scholarship to private but the price of uniform, trips, extra curricular, etc was still astronomical.

Ok, so we're in the North. Fees per child 11k. I put 24k to include lunch, coach, uniform and day trips for 2 When I was at private I went on 3 trips abroad which I could have gone without tbh. I imagine the first pp is not in London either. It's not for a few years yet though and we're working on promotions right now, as I think salaries of 33k and 37k (which is doable soon) would be a little better as we'd have a bit of.disposable income after bills to enjoy ourselves. I want my dc to.go to private because I did and dh went to grammar.

Pp poster calculated op has £1400 pcm left after school fees and mortgage, and pronounced 'you can't live on that'. Of course you can. It's loads! I've not checked the figures that generated £1400 though. And by live, I don't mean eat out frequently, have exotic holidays and expensive hobbies. I mean cheap hobbies and cheap hols! And no security if one of you gets ill and can't pay the fees (but I've lived that, so might seem more real to me than most).

One option is to consider applying for scholarships and bursaries (means tested) which combined can theoretically cover up to 100% of school fees. Shop around as bursary thresholds vary considerably between schools, some being very generous. My children are on chorister/art/drama scholarships varying from 10 to 50% off school fees. Apart from uniform/sports kit, there are school meals, trips, clubs and music tuition as extras added to the term bill to consider.

Sorry about the random full stops, new phone. To the pp who mocked my maths... cheers.

Honestly, I think you will regret it. The sheer misery of having to buy second hand or budget clothes and food, of budgeting for entertainment, of living in fear of big bills coming in unexpectedly takes its toll on a marriage and will impact your children, as they compare themselves to others, and listening to your arguments and notice uour stress. The on paper argument and the reality of living every day like this for years is very different.

Personally as much as I understand your thoughts, I think you simply cannot afford it without some real sacrifices.

Agreed there would be real sacrifices. I'm under no illusion. Thanks to the pp who suggested bursaries. We'll definitely go for them but I'm planning for if we don't get them.

I don't think it's worth asking what others did. It completely depends on how much you'd have left over after paying essentials - you need to include a contingency for one-off things like car breaking down, boiler going etc.

Work out how much disposable income you'd have a month after paying mortgage, school fees and essential bills (inc food). If it's a good few hundred then you can afford the fees but no luxuries. And hope that your pay goes up enough to counter-act any increase in fees.

I agree with Bluntness. Living perpetually on the edge will be stressful and affect your marriage and DC. If you have absolutely no room for any unexpected extras, you're going to get very stressed out when the boiler breaks down and you're in a freezing cold house with no way of paying for a new boiler.

it's not as simple as private = better.
take a good look at the private schools
take a good look at the state options open to you
take a good look at your children = ability, personality, talents

choose the school you think suits their needs best
THEN work out if you can afford it.

IMO you're coming at this completely the wrong way round.

Just be prepared for the possibility of finances not stretching / redundancy / job loss / critical illness etc and you not being able to pay the fees.

You'll have to pull them out of the environment they've come to know and try and get them into a state school with spaces quickly - quite traumatic for them.

Have an exit strategy lined up.